Come Back to Me Spock
by Sirius04L
Summary: One bad dream comes true, and a second is about too. Jim is in love with Spock, but can't get Bones out of his head. Now he has to learn how to save his friends and he has to chose between them, the thing is, he doesn't think he can change. SLASH K/S K/Mc
1. Started Out Well

**A/N - Hey guys, so this is my first attempt at a **_**Star Trek**_** story. I'm just really getting into it now that I've seen the movie a couple times and I'm about a third of the way through **_**TOS**_**. Some of the story probably won't be right, either that or extremely vague and I'm sorry, but right now that works more for me and the story.**

**As some of you can tell from my penname I normally write **_**Harry Potter**_** stories but I got this idea and I really like the pairing so I decided to give it a try. Please don't be afraid to tell me what you think, good or otherwise. Anyway, here it is, please enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything, though I do wish I had Spock.**

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For Jim Kirk when something started well that meant, normally, that it would become a challenge. Not that he minded, he welcomed challenges. He always got through them and almost always seemed to end up in the hands of Dr. McCoy. But when things began badly they seemed to end well, which left him wondering why this had happened.

His relationship with Spock started with him being put on academic probation and almost being killed at the hands of the half-Vulcan. Now that they had been on the Enterprise for nearly a year they were friends. They had disagreements but nothing that caused them to drift apart, if anything it brought them closer. The pair balanced each other out. As the Elder Spock said, it was a friendship that would define them both. The pair were sometimes said the be the best team in the fleet. But, if this started so badly why was it ending badly?

~*~*~

It was becoming a routine, not one that Jim liked, but it was becoming one just the same. For the sixth day in a row, once his shift was done, he would take the lift to sickbay and sit next to his first officer's bed. For six extremely long days Spock had been in a coma, and it was Jim's fault. No one blamed him, or that's what they said, but Jim blamed himself. The safety and well-being of his crew was his responsibility and now one of his best friends in the galaxy was oblivious to the world.

He should have seen it coming. He had the proper warning but he ignored it, just like he ignored all the others. "It was only a dream." he told himself. But the dreams that James T. Kirk had, had the uncanny ability to become a reality.

Not all of them of course. He had random dreams just like everyone else, and most the time he couldn't even remember what it was that he had dreamed. There was the rare occasion that he did remember his dream, but only parts of it. More often than not he would wake and remember that he was reading something, or doing some small task, but then just a few days later he would find himself doing that reading or task. It was like déjà vu. In none of the other dreams where this phenomenon had taken place did anyone get hurt. Guess there is a first time for everything.

As he sat next to the bed he placed his elbows on his thighs and leaned over resting his head in his hands. This was another part of the routine. This is where he would sit and make himself remember what had happened that day.

It had been a simple mission. Spock, McCoy, a member of security, and himself had beamed down to a planet's surface to investigate the usefulness of any plants or minerals that could have medical benefits. In the beginning Spock was going to remain on board the Enterprise and someone else was going to beam down, but Spock insisted. He wanted to be present, he wanted the chance to explore and take some samples of his own. Reluctantly Jim agreed and Spock ventured down to the surface with them.

Things were normal, and Jim found himself enjoying the time on the planet. The landing party was working steadily, gathering what they needed to while enjoying themselves as well. Jim sat on a large rock a few feet from a medium-sized body of water and looked into it, just gazing at the creatures swimming in the shallow water. When he saw something launch from the sand and rocks beneath the surface and grab the creature that he had been watching he jumped slightly and tilted his head in curiosity. That's when he remembered.

"Spock…" he muttered to himself. "Spock!" Jim ran from the rock and let his feet carry him through the tall plants that came up to his waist. "McCoy…Bones follow me!" he yelled as he felt something bite his calf through his left boot. Jim knew Bones was following him, he remembered it. He ran at full speed for what seemed like hours, but what was only seconds, before he came upon Spock's limp body on the ground.

Latched onto his first officer's neck was what looked like a beetle that was as big as his own fist. He kicked it away and placed his hand on the wound that was seeping green blood. McCoy forcefully pushed Jim out of the way scanning the body for only a few seconds. "Jim we need…"

Jim was already giving the order for the landing party to beam up. He bit his lip and unceremoniously put Spock over his shoulders in time to beam a board. Once there he dashed to the lift and to sickbay with Spock on his back and McCoy following him.

He refused treatment until he knew Spock was safe, but when all Bones could say for now was that he was stable. Finally Jim allowed his bite to be treated, there was no venom or poison attacking his system, just Spock's. Of course, once McCoy left the room he limped over and sat next to Spock's bed. "I'm sorry Spock." he said gripping his hand.

Jim didn't know how long he sat there, he forgot all about time…actually he forgot about everything. It wasn't until McCoy walked in and actually took him to his quarters and sat there to make sure he ate that he came out of it.

That was six days ago, and here Jim was again. He sat up straighter and gripped the half-Vulcan's hand just thinking. His eyes stayed focused on the stern face and he was unaware of what was going on around him, so unaware that he didn't notice McCoy standing in the entry way watching him.

Since this had happened McCoy watched Jim and asked other crew members about him. According to them, Jim was quiet but did what needed to be done. That wasn't Jim Kirk at all. He was loud and obnoxious and did things his way. No, McCoy wasn't a psychiatrist but he knew Jim was blaming himself, and that maybe, just maybe, there was something more to the relation between the captain and first officer.

"Jim you should get to your quarters." he announced in an unusually gentle voice.

"Give me a few minutes Bones." Jim didn't see him leave but he knew he did.

He couldn't figure out why he was doing this. If it had been any other crewman Jim wouldn't sit by their bed day after day for hours at a time. He brought his hand up and touched Spock's cheek gently and felt a shock go through him that cause him to withdraw his hand. Curious, he brought it up and smiled at the sensation just barely brushing the cheek. He knew that had Spock been awake this would never happen.

"What is it Spock…what can I do to get you out of this?" he said softly. Jim took in his features, Spock was…perfect. From the pointed ears to the strong chin Spock was perfect. He smiled softly his finger tracking his first officer's lips, even they were soft and beyond compare.

Jim stood up, "Spock I need you back. You have to come out of this." His voice was a whisper but tone was begging and full of need.

He didn't realize it until his lips were just centimeters away from Spock's lips. This is why he sat with Spock for hours. This is why he came back day after day. Jim couldn't be without Spock. Gently, Jim pressed his lips to Spock's and let the linger for a few seconds before he stood up straight, "Come back to me Spock." Jim jumped when he heard a familiar voice come from the entry way.

"Ha! I knew it!" McCoy's voice rang.

Trying to put his best face on Jim turned and faced his other friend. "You knew what?" he asked calmly.

"You _like_ him."

Jim sighed and walked past him. "I have no idea what you mean."

"Sit down Jim." Without waiting for Jim to do so McCoy pushed him into the chair in front of his desk before leaning on the desk.

Helplessly, Jim looked up at his friend, "Yes?"

"You haven't been eating, sleeping, focusing on work…hell you're not even looking at the women on board anymore."

"Well, part of being captain is maturing - "

"Jim Kirk will never mature…fully. You like him."

Jim sighed and sat back in the rather uncomfortable chair and looked at his hands. He hadn't been eating regularly, he was scared to sleep because of the dreams, and his mind was on Spock all the time, and he just kissed him. "So what if I do?"

McCoy thought about this for a minute. "He's your first officer, he's Spock which basically adds up to a green-blooded computer, male…"

"Like you've never done anything with a guy." he muttered.

"Now wait a minute. One, I was drunk, two I don't remember it so it doesn't count." he said defensively. "And I never said anything was wrong with it."

Jim looked up shocked, "Wait so you don't care."

"Well I mean, I wish you could pick someone a little more…human but, no, not really."

A smile spread across Jim's face for the first time in nearly a week. "I just don't know why it happened Bones. I mean, he's obviously smart, very good looking - "

"I didn't say I wanted to hear about it Jim." he interrupted. "Go to your room…get some sleep and eat. You look like crap."

"Thank." he muttered getting up. "Night Bones." With that Jim left sickbay and walked to his room. He ate a small meal before changing into a pair of sweats and laying on his bed. He couldn't explain it but he felt lighter. Jim brushed his lips with his hand and smiled lightly, "Night Spock."

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**A/N - Again, please be honest. I know Jim isn't really…Jim-like at the moment but that may change. Let me know what you think about the characters and how I wrote them, I know the characters will never be perfect because I didn't create them but just let me know, and if things make sense that sort of thing. I really want it to flow right (if some of you can tell I'm a Creative Writing major) and make sure the dialogue sounds natural enough. **

**Also let me know if you would like me to continue this story or not, that all depends on you guys. Thanks for reading. Please leave some sort or review!**

**L.A.**


	2. Ended Horribly

**A/N - Here's the second chapter to the story. Thank you for those of you that reviewed and added this to your favorite story or story alert. It really mean a lot especially since this is my first **_**Star Trek **_**fanfic. Please enjoy and remember to review at the end!**

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Day seven of Spock's coma started out the same as the other six had. Jim woke up from a less than peaceful sleep before munching on an apple and making his way to the bridge. The happy thoughts that he had the night before were now replaced with doubt. Just because Jim had a thing for Spock did not mean that Spock had a thing for Jim. Actually, as Jim thought about it more and more he figured out that there was no chance that anything would become of him and Spock.

Jim knew that Spock had emotions. Hell Jim had felt those emotions in the form of fists colliding with his face and then the same hands wrapping around his neck trying to strangle the life out of him. But even though the two of them were now friends Spock had kept his emotions in check at all times.

In the lift Jim searched his mind for some slip that Spock could have had, one that would give Jim hope that his feelings might be returned but he found none. He took his seat on the bridge and gave a few orders. It was another tedious day. They were in transit and nothing had come up to cause them any trouble. The thing with slow days was the fact that they allowed Jim to think, and the more he thought the more doubt he had.

His hours were filled of giving empty and pointless orders to keep the crew busy and his mind making arguments to his heart. _He hides his emotions, he'll think of you as a freak, you'll lose his friendship and you at least want that don't you?_

They all played in his head and he couldn't shut them out. Needless to say that when his shift was over he was relieved. He gave his usual orders to the night crew and walked to the lift. Here everything started again.

Without even realizing it Jim made his way to sickbay and took his place at the side of his first officer. He placed his elbows on his knees and shook as he recalled the day that this happened. He actually chuckled to himself as he thought of what Spock would say to him. _"Jim it is illogical for you to keep dwelling on this event." _or something to that effect.

Jim took Spock's hand, "Why can't everything just be simple and go the way I want them to?"

He watched Spock and just sat there talking to him about how the ship was running and how the young crew of the U.S.S Enterprise was faring on its five year mission. Soon he was spilling his feelings to Spock.

"I never thought I would really just fall for someone. I mean, my childhood wasn't the best, far from it. I didn't really know what…what this feels like and so I never thought I would find it. Go figure I would fall for someone like you. I'm not saying that's a bad thing…trust me. I haven't felt this good in a long time. Well I feel bad sometime too because I know its never going to happen."

"Jim your rambling." Bones said as he smirked at him.

Jim blushed lightly and brushed Spock's lips with his before walking to McCoy's desk.

"He's never going to fall for me Bones."

McCoy pulled a bottle of brandy out and poured each of them some before taking a seat. "Why not? There's nothing wrong with you. Well nothing _too _wrong with you."

"Haha…I mean it Bones. I have nothing to offer him and what's he going to give me in return. The only emotions he's ever really shown toward me were hatred. He almost killed me remember?"

"Well you kind of deserved that. It was a dick move. His mother just died and his home was sucked into a black hole."

Jim sighed rubbing his temples, "I told you why I did that."

McCoy downed the rest of his drink and looked across the desk at his best friend. "I know, but Jim you never know. The guy could have hidden feelings for you."

"Who could have feelings for the captain?"

Jim and McCoy both looked over and saw Spock standing in the door way.

"Spock!" Jim ran over and threw his arms around his first officer.

McCoy snorted into the new glass of brandy that he poured for himself and he full out laughed when Spock just raised his eyebrow, his hands clasped behind his back.

"That would be my name Captain."

_Shit, I forgot that he doesn't like being touched…I should let go of him…but he's so warm. I like holding him. I haven't this good in a while. The guy doesn't like being touched just take a step back and say you had too much to drink. He'll believe you…_or that was what was going through Jim's mind.

He cleared his throat and stepped back, his breath catching in his throat when he saw Spock with his eyebrow raised. _He has no idea what that look does…_

"Sorry Spock. Just so happy to see you awake. It's been nearly a week."

"So I have guessed Captain. I remember you talking to me throughout the duration of my illness. I also remember your hand on mine, a most peculiar feeling."

McCoy laughed again and this time Spock's gaze lingered on him. "I am having trouble finding what is so funny about this situation doctor. I am merely making an observation."

"Is that all you do Spock? Make observations without acting on them."

"Sometimes that is the logical thing to do."

"Logic smogic. Screw logic Spock."

Through this entire thing Jim had sat silent. Spock remembered Jim sitting with him and talking with him. Jim holding his hand and…and…spilling his feelings. Telling him how he felt. _Oh god this is bad…really bad. Now's he's going to want to transfer off the Enterprise and move to another starship…maybe even just head the new Vulcan colony and settle there and find…_

"Jim…Jim!" the loud tone that was applied to his name cause him to snap out of his thoughts. Both McCoy and Spock were looking at him.

"Sorry…to…too much to drink. Bones maybe you should give him a quick look over to make sure that he's ok. I'm sure he would rather spend the rest of the night in his quarters."

"That is most considerate of you Captain."

Jim blushed and couldn't help but notice the stare Spock was giving him. The gaze was so intense the blush on his cheeks got even deeper and he felt his heart skip a few beats. "Bones." he said again.

McCoy nodded and walked into the main room of the sickbay and began a full examination of Spock.

While this was going on Jim sat at the desk and drank three more glasses of brandy and finally felt it starting to affect his system. So Spock knew everything, or at least hinted at it. To put it in blatant terms Jim was screwed and screwed royally.

"Jim, Spock is ready to leave."

Numbly he nodded, "Spock walk with me." he said and walked out feeling the warmth coming from the body of his first officer.

They walked and Jim didn't remember inviting him into his quarters for food but he did. Silently he put in two orders and took the food from the replicator.

"Captain, may I ask what is bothering you?" Spock finally asked after they had eaten there meals and were now standing at the door.

"How much do you remember? What did I talk about?"

"Your feelings, emotions. I could fell them to." Spock's voice was gentler and the hard look in his eyes softened and Jim could almost see a sense of longing and desire.

"Spock…" he groaned before wrapping his arms around the thin neck of his first officer and pressing their lips together.

To Jim it was the most wonderful feeling. He felt warmer, safer, and lighter than he ever had before. He pulled them closer together; he didn't know how long he stood there before he realized that Spock had not moved. He was still standing up straight with his hands behind his back. Jim slowly pulled back and looked at him.

"Spock…" he muttered again but the half-Vulcan raised a hand in order to halt him.

"Captain, while we both may feel this…connection, it would be illogical to take part in it. Lives would be put at stake and as the Captain that is something that you can not allow to happen."

Whatever hope Jim had was just thrown to the ground, smashed to bits, and trampled on by the gorgeous half-Vulcan that was standing in front of him. "O-of course Mr. Spock."

"Jim…"

"Go to your quarter's Mr. Spock. You need some rest before returning to the bridge for duty tomorrow."

"Of course Captain." he answered before taking a step closer to Jim and running his middle and index finger against Jim's own. "If things were different - "

"Go Spock." Jim said sternly walking to his bed.

He heard the doors open and close as Spock left and Jim literally fell onto his bed. "Damn duty driven half-breed." he growled.

What Jim Kirk didn't know, was that next door in the first officer's quarters, Spock was illogically damning his duty to Star Fleet and his Vulcan half.

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**A/N - There you go! Again let me know if you liked it and if things made sense. Feel free to critique the hell out of the story. And sorry it didn't have a happier ending, I mean, nothing just falls directly into place you know? Thanks for reading!**

**L.A.**


	3. Small Slip

**A/N - You guys have no idea how happy all of the positive responses are making me. And those who are giving the criticism in a nice way also make this worth while, it keeps me going.**

**So there was some confusion and people thought that the last chapter was the end of the story. I picked a bad name for the chapter so I'm sorry, it just seemed to fit with the whole "started good but its ending like crap" theme that was going on in those two chapters. I do plan on continuing this story and seeing where it goes.**

**A few things about this chapter. I tried to adjust Jim's character a little bit because some people were concerned with that. I know that he'll never be just like the Jim Kirk from the series or movie, I am taking some creative license and making him my own, but hopefully he's closer to character this time so let me know. Also I was wondering how Spock sounds. I tried my best. I haven't heard anything but good things about McCoy which makes me happy. **

**I'll admit I'm a little nervous for this chapter because Spock goes of the deep end just a tad but it worked with the story and I promise I reeled him back in. Oh, and there is some bad language, and there probably will be from now on because those words seem to make appearances when emotions are involved.**

**Also I don't really know when the next update is going to be. I'm in the process of moving into an apartment before I start at the University of Arizona again so I'll be making a few long drives and be packing this week. But seeing as this is my stress relief I'll probably get around to it.**

**That's all that I can think of for now, sorry this was so long! Enjoy!**

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So maybe things weren't so bad. It was now three weeks after Jim and Spock had discussed, a term both used loosely, what there could and couldn't be between them. And, Jim thought at least, that the pair were putting on a good act in front of the rest of the ship.

Spock was tall and brooding, always speaking with perfect grammar, his hands clasped behind his back, and his eyebrow slightly raised. He would sit or stand at his station and complete his tasks while keeping the captain and rest of the bridge in check. To Jim and the rest of the ship Spock was Spock and there was nothing else.

Jim also seemed to be back to normal. He was laughing and poking fun at his crew. He flashed devilish smiles at passing women and most often said smiles were followed by a wink which either got a roll of the eyes or a giggle in return. The smart ass remarks were also back in full swing, only McCoy and Spock seemed to express unhappiness in that.

They were also the only two that knew Jim still wasn't quite himself. Both saw it in different ways. Spock, for instance, noticed that Jim would no longer just refer to him as 'Spock.' 'Mr.' was always in front of his name. The blue eyes would linger longer on him than anyone else. The Captain's voice was always a couple tones lower when he had to speak to him.

McCoy noticed the physical things; Jim still wasn't eating as much as he should although he was maintaining a constant weight. Each morning he still had circles under his eyes that he could only get rid of with two and a half cups of coffee. When he and Jim were by themselves the light was out of his eyes and he slouched more. McCoy easily saw that Jim had it bad for Spock, but there was no reasoning or talking Jim out of his slump. And McCoy may only be a doctor but he knew that it was impossible to reason with Spock, even if he was half-Vulcan.

McCoy was going to let it go, let it all work out on its own. He was firm believer in the thought that things would happen as they were meant to happen, unless they didn't happen the way he wanted them too of course. That was probably one of the reason he and Jim got along so well. He was set to let all of this go, knowing Jim had dealt with pain in his past and gotten through it unscathed for the most part. It was when Jim ended up hurt on a routine mission, literally nothing had to be done except that McCoy was to certify the health of a scientist and his wife. Now he was in sickbay with Jim patching him up.

"You think you would be able to manage the simple task of sitting still while I did a medical scan. You had to go and get attacked by a poodle." his voice was a growl as he applied more pressure than needed to be to the gash on his friend's arm.

"Did you see that thing? I mean even poodles on Earth are vicious but this one had fangs…they actually rival the ones you have." he chuckled but let out a less than manly yelp when he felt the jab of a hypo on his neck. "What the hell was that for?"

"Hopefully it'll get you to shut your damn mouth."

Jim crunched up his nose and mimicked him while his back was turned.

"Lay down on your stomach - "

"Bones I had no idea you liked to be in control…kidding." he said when the doctor went for another hypo.

McCoy stood over him cleaning the gashes, again not being as gentle as he should have been. "I'm changing your diet to. You're getting to thin; I'll have some vitamins and other supplements taken to you and forced down your scrawny throat if need be."

Jim groaned and let his head fall to the pillow with a dull thump before he gained his composure. "Aw Bones, you do care. Just find out more and more about you as time goes on. You like to be controlling but you still have compas…ok that was not necessary." he groaned.

A smirk graced the face of the good doctor as he pushed against one of the marks. "What are you talking about?"

The younger man rolled his eyes and laid there as he finished with his back. "Alright Jim on your back so I can get that last one on your stomach."

"Yes sir." he said giving him the trademark Kirk smirk.

"Just for being a wise-ass no pain meds. Damn this one is pretty bad Jim."

"Go big or go home."

McCoy fought the urge to roll his eyes and actually grabbed a stool and sat down so he could get all the pieces of what appeared to be claws and possibly teeth. Just a few minutes into this he broke down and gave Jim a hypo to ease the pain, but it did little good. "Interesting, I think the teeth were poisonous. Nothing serious though, looks like it just causes more pain than anything."

"Wonderful."

McCoy laughed and went back to the task at hand, giving Jim sympathetic looks when he heard gasps of pain. "Jim I can't give you another…"

"Just finish."

He nodded and started work on a larger piece causing Jim to actually let out a strangled yell.

"What are you doing to the Captain?" The voice that spoke was deep and avaricious. It held a warning. Get away from Jim and nothing will happen to you.

Both Jim and McCoy looked over to see a very angry, very possessive, and very dangerous looking Spock and each had a mirror look of shock on his face.

"What are _you_ doing to the Captain?" Spock demanded, his eyes becoming thin slits as the glared at the doctor.

"Spock he got attacked I was just patching him up."

"Get away from him." When McCoy just stared at him in shock, Spock walked over and pushed him away from Jim with enough force to send him across the room.

"Spock stop it!" Jim yelled but Spock was walking towards the doctor again. "Spock!" he roared getting up grabbing his arm.

The half-Vulcan looked at Jim his eyes instantly softening into something that resembled affection. "Jim he was hurting you."

Jim stood his mouth hanging open and the gash on his stomach bleeding again. Spock just…showed he cared. Not even just cared, but put on a show claming Jim to be his. Jim didn't know how to react. He was happy of course, now he knew Spock had some sort of feelings for him, but Spock was so possessive that it was scary. He shook the thoughts out of his head, determined to reach Spock, and the only way he knew how to do that was through logic.

"Spock," he said gently, "Bones was helping me. I was attacked while we were on the planets surface." Jim was getting pale but McCoy stopped when Spock literally growled at him.

"Spock I'm hurt. Let Bones finish."

"You can sit next to him Spock." McCoy said.

The first officer nodded and easily picked Jim up and laid him on the bed. He sat next to it, holding on his arm his eyes watching for anything McCoy missed or may have done wrong.

Jim could cut the tension in the air with a knife and made a snack out of it if he wanted to. But right now he was so confused. McCoy finished with him and went to help him into a shirt only to have it ripped from his hands by Spock who helped Jim put it on.

"Spock I think we need to talk."

He shook his head and remained standing, the emotionless mask back on and his eyes blank. "That would be unwise at the moment Jim…Captain. If you would excuse me I have some personal matters that need to be addressed."

He walked out of the room with two shocked and slightly bruised men staring at his back. Jim looked at McCoy and didn't speak till their eyes met. "No what the fuck was that about?"

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**A/N - Sooo what do you guys think? Please feel free to mention anything that you feel needs to be worked on or just inflate my tiny ego and tell me how amazingly awesome I am. Sorry, I'm a little hyper right now. But yes, so I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know in a review! Thanks!**

**L.A.**


	4. Affirmative

**A/N - Here's the next chapter. Some people didn't really like Spock in the last chapter because he was so OOC, but he does have emotions and they can surface. I promise I'll keep in character as much as I can but he probably will have outbursts as the stories go on, especially if Jim gets hurt or he feels someone is too close to him.**

**Oh…and there is a little surprise in the middle. Please don't hate me for it. I just thought it was cute and funny.**

**Please enjoy it and let me know what you think and as always enjoy!**

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Spock sat on the floor of his room, bringing his emotions into check before forcing them into hibernation. An outburst like he had just experienced, in front of the Doctor and the Captain of all people, was simple not acceptable. He would make sure that nothing like that had ever happened again.

Now that Spock had regained control of himself he applied himself to the task of deciphering the reason for his actions. He had merely been walking in the hallway when he felt this sudden rush of pain. It was not his own, but it was there none the less. After that he felt the need to protect the individual. Not just any individual but Captain James T. Kirk. The Captain that he served. His Captain. _His _Jim.

Figuratively, he shook his head before closing his eyes to replay the memory.

_After the unexpected sensation of pain he walked into sickbay and before he could control himself, Spock felt a primal urge that he did not understand. He didn't even feel himself speaking._

"_What are _you_ doing to the Captain?" Spock spoke, his voice like venom. Haw dare someone like McCoy touch Jim. _My _Jim. Not yours, but mine._

_He did not wait to listen to the words that came from the Doctor's mouth; instead he walked over and pushed the man to the floor before going after him again. The only thing that calmed him was a loud voice and warm hand on his arm. That of _his_ Captain. _His_ Jim. _

_Spock was all eyes and ears as he let McCoy finish his work on Jim. The time that he had been sitting still allowed him a small amount of time to scold himself for what he had done. _

"_Spock I think we need to talk." Those were the confused words that had come out of Jim's mouth. A mouth that would, in time, be his. _

_Spock shook his head and put on a mask of calm and control. "That would be unwise at the moment Jim…Captain." He corrected. "If you would excuse me I have some personal matters that need to be addressed."_

Spock opened his eyes and remained sitting on the floor with his legs crossed. While going through the event he found that his temperature had raised if only slightly. He forced it back down and began to ponder what his lack of control meant.

The Captain was no longer just the Captain. James T. Kirk was his. There was no other logical reason for the way he had acted. The look in Jim's eyes had been confusion, but Spock knew that the Captain felt the same. They were meant to be together. They were meant to have a friendship that would define them both, but his elder self had apparently left out the more important details of that friendship.

He found that it bothered him much more than he should have. If this is what was going to happen he needed to know all of the facts. It was the only way that Jim would be safe. Especially if that primal urge returned again.

Spock had never felt anything like it. It made him feel powerful and when he had let his emotion come through he could sense the fear in the Doctor and even in Jim. He found their reaction to be logical. He was much stronger than they were; he was also quicker and smarter. If they were ever to be on opposing sides he could over take them before they were aware of it.

Still the fear that had radiated from Jim hurt him. He wanted Jim to trust him. Jim had no reason to fear him. People who hurt Jim had reason to fear Spock. That is, however, when something else occurred to the ever-so-logical half-Vulcan. For one brief moment Spock felt like hitting the Captain. Not because he was angry at him, Spock didn't think that was possible anymore. He wanted to hit him for allowing McCoy to touch him in such an inappropriate place; the man actually had Jim's pants pulled down somewhat.

"He is a doctor. And one of Jim's best friends. He was merely healing him." he reminded himself. Internally, Spock sighed and closed his eyes again. If he was going to attempt to talk to Jim and discuss the best course of action then he was going to need some more time to contemplate his thoughts and to make sure that his emotions were in check.

Back in the sickbay Jim had gone back to staring at the door Spock had left through. "Seriously…what the hell was that?"

"If I didn't know any better I would say you have one possessive Vulcan on your hands Jim. Better watch out before he becomes sexually frustrated."

"Bet he's nicer than when you are. If you don't get laid often enough I get hypo jabbed into my neck three times as often. No wonder people still question me as a Captain."

McCoy was about to make a snide remark about feeling guilty at tricking women into bed as Jim had done, but he caught the tail end of the remark and was able to hear the slight shift in his voice. "People don't doubt you." he reassured, even though he knew member of the crew, even after all this time, were cautious when it came to something Jim ordered. He was very young.

Jim shrugged it off and plastered a smirk onto his face. "Think I can get Spock to let loose like that again? Probably would be an amazing fu-"

"Shut up!" Bones warned, his eyes narrowing slightly. "You need to rest. You lost more blood than you should have when the green-blooded hobgoblin start on his war path."

"I think you're just jealous."

"Excuse me?"

"You are jealous." Jim took the time to over pronounce each word, his smirk staying glued to his face, his eyes laughing as he watched the expressions on McCoy's face.

"And what exactly am I jealous of?"

"You're jealous because you think Spock is going to get me before you can." Jim couldn't help but laugh out loud when he saw the blush creep onto the older man's face.

"I think your delusional Jim."

"You want me."

"Whatever…and think he's going to get you. You like him, he's attracted to you. What's the big deal?"

Jim noticed the curious look on McCoy's face. Jim didn't like discussing his past but he could trust McCoy, he was one of his best friends after all. Hard not to be after someone warns you they might puke on you.

"Well, he kinda scared me. I've seen him angry but that even beat the time he almost killed me. I thought about that when I saw that…wild look in his eyes. I know I provoked him and obviously seeing us so close to each other and how errr compromising it looked…" he noted the blush on his friends face again., "it set him off."

He's a good guy Bone's but my mom and I thought my step dad was too. I mean once he married my mom he totally changed. He hit me, tried to take advantage of me." Jim knew at once he said too much. He was shaking and McCoy was looking at him with so much pity and affection that it was hurting him.

"Jim - "

"Forget it Bones. It's in the past." He stopped the Doctor from replying. "I mean it. It was a long time ago ok?"

McCoy nodded and got up. "Lay down and rest for a little bit. I'll come check on you and see if you can stay in your quarters without causing anymore damage to yourself." he walked out as Jim complied, appearing too tired to actually argue that fact the he could rest in his own bed.

Besides, Jim felt comforted in the fact that McCoy had just listened and didn't pry any further. Maybe one day Jim would confide more in him, but right now he just wanted to sleep. And he was determined to get down to the bottom of everything; he wanted to know what exactly Spock was _feeling_ and thinking and what caused that blush to appear on the Doctor's cheek. For one of the only times in his life Jim fell asleep feeling safe and loved.

He didn't know how long he slept but Jim woke up with a warm and nervous feeling in his stomach. He had some work to do. Silently he got himself out of the bed and stood up slowly, his body sore from the cuts and from lying in a stiff bed for so long. That's when he heard McCoy chuckle from the entry way.

"Rough night Jim?"

"I've had worse. You'd be surprised how vicious women can be."

"Hardly." he watched Jim as he tried to stand up straight and stretch. He smiled letting his eyes going over him in a less than doctorly manner. "You need help to your quarters? Spock has been on the bridge handling things."

Jim smirked, "I think I might need help Bones."

McCoy walked over and wrapped his arm around Jim's waist leading him to his quarters.

Jim leaned on his friend and smiled when he felt the grip on his waist tighten. They didn't receive any weird looks as they walked, Jim often had to be taken to his rooms to rest and hadn't been in that state to get there on his own. They walked into the room and McCoy went to set him down but Jim stopped him.

"What's wrong Jim?" he asked his eyes meeting his.

"Nothing Bones." he said giving him a smile.

"Ah Jim…"

"What?"

Before McCoy could say anything Jim kissed him slowly. He didn't know what the hell he was doing. He had been curious, and it did feel good. McCoy closed his eyes holding Jim before pulling back. He smiled but shook his head. "Was that as weird for you as it was for me?"

Jim nodded, "Like kissing my brother."

They both laughed. "Glad we got that out of the way." McCoy finally said laying Jim down on the bed. "I'll tell Spock he has nothing to worry about."

Jim flushed bright red, "You wouldn't."

McCoy laughed and walked out. "Watch me." he let the door slide shut just as Spock rounded the corner.

Spock tensed when he saw that the Doctor was leaving the Captain's, _his _Captain's quarters.

"Don't worry Spock. He's all yours. He's like my brother." his voice got dangerously low and merely cause Spock to raise an eyebrow. "On that note, if you so much hurt a hair on his head I will hurt you. I'll find a way but don't you dare hurt Jim."

"Doctor I have no intention of causing Jim any harm, intentionally." Spock left the Doctor confused and knocked before entering Jim's room.

"Bones I told you I'm fine." he said his back to the door. Jim was trying to get the damn shirt off so the cool air of his room would sooth some of the aching.

Spock walked over silently helping him.

"Thanks Bones…Spock." he said suddenly breathless.

"Jim." he said nodding his head, fighting to keep himself in check. Spock sat in a chair near, but not to close to the bed Jim was sitting on. "Jim you should lay down. Those appear to hurt."

"They do." he said laying back, not totally unaware of the fact that Spock was looking at his chest. "What brings you here?"

Spock let his gaze linger on Jim, not bothering to hide it. "I wanted to check on the status of your health. Also, I would like to speak to you about a more personal matter."

"Of course." Jim replied smiling. _Now we're getting somewhere. _"Well I am perfectly fine, nothing more than sore. What else did you want to talk about?"

Spock watched Jim's face with intent. He was curious, some apprehension behind his eyes. The half-Vulcan spoke carefully, "I think we would both find it pleasing to engage in a romantic relationship."

Jim pretended to look embarrassed and flashed a smile at Spock and noticed the green tinge that appeared on his cheeks. "Spock did you just ask me out?"

"Affirmative."

"Spock," he said smiling, "Do me a favor."

"Yes Jim?"

"If we're gonna date dumb down the language for the dumb human."

"While I do not believe that you are anything but intelligent I will do what you ask Jim."

Jim laughed and Spock raised his eyebrow in confusion.

* * *

**A/N - So there it is. Please let me know what you think. I thought the exchanges were pretty funny. Please don't hate me for the Bones/Jim. It was that once I promise.**

**L.A.**


	5. Worst Fears

**A/N - Here's the next chapter and it's the longest yet. I'm having a little trouble focusing and I feel like the story is kind of falling apart so please please please let me know what you think.**

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Jim and Spock had talked for another hour or so before the first officer took his leave. Jim wanted to voice his disappointment, but he knew he wasn't up to much. The venom that he been in his body was still causing more pain than he would let anyone know. Once Spock was out of the room Jim gripped his sheets, his knuckles turning white. He was the Captain of the best damn ship in the fleet; he was supposed to be strong and he would be damned if he let anyone, including Spock, see any amount of weakness.

He did what he did best, Jim distracted himself by playing back the events of the night in his mind. First off the kiss with McCoy. Jim may have told a little fib, it hadn't been like kissing his brother. It felt great. But there was something missing in the kiss, he just didn't know what it was.

McCoy was someone that Jim trusted with his life and his secrets. He would give up his life for McCoy without any hesitation, so what kept that kiss from being perfect? Jim couldn't put his finger on it, maybe he was waiting to see what Spock's kiss felt like.

A smile was brought to his face as he thought about the half-Vulcan. They had both decided that before they officially started a relationship they should no more about each other. Jim knew that Spock was going to be hard to crack, but he would crack him. He couldn't wait to get to know Spock better, and he wanted to know _everything_ about Spock; his views on different things, how he thinks, what turns him on. Everything. And, even if it cause Jim harm, he was going to get his first officer to show more emotion.

Jim closed his eyes determined to get some rest so McCoy would leave him alone the next day, but all he saw when he closed his eyes were the faces of the two men that meant the most to him.

~*~*~

Spock left the Jim's quarters and walked to his own. He walked gracefully, if not stiff, his hands clasped behind his back, his brow furrowed as he thought. Something was still bothering Jim, but it seemed that the Captain was better at hiding his feelings than Spock thought. He needed to know how Jim's mind worked, why he was who he was, and why he acted like he did. What was the driving force behind his Captain, the man that had totally taken Spock by surprise in a way no one ever could.

As he got ready for bed, after meditating for a bit, Spock decided that he was going to study Jim's actions and decide just what was going on in that illogical and human mind of his. Spock needed to know everything about his Captain, and he would find out if it killed him in the process.

~*~*~

After McCoy threatened Spock in the hallway he felt better. Not amazing, but better. He made his way to his room and grabbed the bottle of brandy that he and Jim would share on occasion and poured himself a larger amount than he really needed. He was confused so he decided to take care of it the best way he knew how, and with that thought he drained the glass.

Jim had kissed him. Willingly. McCoy knew he was too old for Jim, it wasn't right no matter how much he wanted it to be. It was also obvious that Jim and Spock were made for each other. McCoy had lied straight out to Jim after their kiss; his lips were still tingling from it. He was jealous of Spock. Spock was going to have the young handsome Captain to himself, and it was hardly fair.

He poured himself another glass looking into it. In away, he concluded, Jim would always be his. There were things that Jim would not share willingly with Spock. Spock would find out of course but Jim would never tell him straight out. Sipping this one, he smiled to himself. At least he still had that part of Jim even if the pointy-eared-man-stealing half-Vulcan had taken the rest.

~*~*~

Jim woke up the next morning hardly able to move. Pain was surging through his body and even breathing was causing him to see bright spots in front of his eyes.

"No." he growled to himself before getting out of bed. Jim took a warm shower to ease the aches but nothing worked, but he was going to the bridge. That was where he belonged, where he felt most at home. Slowly, he pulled on his black pants, black undershirt, and gold captain's shirt before walking to his door. He took a deep breath forcing himself to stand up straight before he left the room.

"Spock." he said jumping and cursing that damn pain-causing poodle before plastering on a perfect smile. "Didn't expect to see you until I got to the bridge."

He raised his eyebrow taking in Jim's response before giving one of his own. "I thought we could accompany each other to the bridge."

Jim smiled and nodded, "Sounds like a plan." He noticed the small upturn of Spock's lips as they began walking. What Jim didn't notice was the downturn that the lips took when they walked.

Spock was watching Jim closely, and notice a flicker in his eyes with each movement that the Captain made. Soon the flicker became a permanent darkness in the blue eyes that entranced him. It was small things that he noticed; Jim gripped the handle in the lift more tightly than what was usual, simple tasks took him a few seconds longer to complete, he shifted his weight while sitting down, only stood when he needed to. Jim was normally really antsy and drummed his fingers or whistled obnoxiously when bored. Today, except for the shifting, he remained still and silent, the darkness always in his gaze.

Knowing he could not ask the Captain on the bridge in front of his young crew, he pulled his gaze away and chose to focus his mind on his duties.

Jim couldn't distract himself and focused on the pain no matter how hard he tried not to. He kept a smile on his face, and laughed when something funny was said. No one seemed to notice anything and he was quite pleased with himself. Their shift was nearly over when the worst wave of pain that he ever had hit him and he doubled over silently in his chair.

No one noticed this sudden change in him until Sulu turned around to give Jim a report. "Captain? Captain are you ok?"

Spock instantly turned and rushed to his side, "Captain what's wrong?" Eyes were locked on the pair as they watch Spock touch Kim's arm.

"It's nothing. I'm fine Spock." Jim flashed them a smile before ordering them back to their stations. "You too Spock." he said.

The half-Vulcan watched Jim, concern showing visibly in his eyes. "Captain…" he said gently.

"There's nothing wrong Spock. Return to your work."

"Of course sir."

It only took a couple seconds before another wave hit him, this one sending him to the floor.

"Jim!" Spock yelled rushing to his side instantly. "No one touch him." Spock ordered, fighting to keep the growl from his voice.

"Call Doctor McCoy, tell him I'm bringing the Captain down to him."

"Yes sir."

Spock slid his arms under Jim's body lifting him easily. He got into the lift kissing his forehead gently, feeling the pain that was coursing through Jim. His brown eyes widened as he almost fell to his knees at the sensation.

"Sickbay." Spock said urgently. There was no way the Captain could handle this much pain, Spock hardly could.

"Spock I'm fine. Set me down." Jim said softly looking up at him. He would not look weak in front of his crew. That was something he could not allow. He started to get out of Spock's grasp when the hands only gripped him more firmly.

"Please Spock." he said giving him a perfect smile.

"No." was the firm answer.

Spock carried his Captain to sickbay laying him down on the bed, but not letting go of his hand.

"Dammit Jim what happened now?" McCoy asked turning on the medical scanner his eyes going over Jim's vitals.

"I'm fine Bon - "

"The Captain fell over in his chair while on the bridge." Spock interrupted him. "I've never felt pain like it before Doctor. There's no possible way he can put up with it much longer."

McCoy sighed and got to work on Jim, giving him pain reliever after pain reliever. "It's the venom. Something's have to get worse before they can get better. I'm going to give you a sedative Jim.

"Bones no, I have to get…" Jim felt his eyes close soon after he heard the familiar _woosh_ of a hypo.

Spock held onto Jim's hand, his eyes not leaving his face. He felt the pain lessen slightly and he felt a sense of relief flow through him, even if he did not show it outwardly. The half-Vulcan looked up to see McCoy watching Jim as well. His hand resting near his. "You do not have to stand over him Doctor. I can watch him."

"You have a duty to the ship Mr. Spock. Jim is in _my _sickbay. As his doctor I'll watch him."

A growl almost escaped Spock, but his mind pushed any emotional responses back into their hidden chambers. The Doctor was right of course, but he did not want to leave Jim alone with him. He had this feeling that McCoy was going to fight for his Captain, for _his _Jim. "Doctor, he may be in your sickbay, but _he is mine_." he warned.

McCoy rolled his eyes. "Jim is not a piece of property Spock. Now get back to the bridge and do something useful."

Spock looked at him, his face as stoic as it always appeared to be. "Jim cannot help but have feelings for me McCoy. He was chosen for me." His voice was firm and steady as he spoke. "I will return once my shift has ended."

"Jim what are we going to do about this?" McCoy asked the sleeping man next to him. He gave Jim's calloused hand a gentle squeeze before walking to his office.

Jim was able to hear muffled voices and felt the hot hand of Spock leave him and felt the warm and gentle squeeze of McCoy's before it left to. This sedative was not working as well as it normally did. Jim did finally drift off to sleep, but instead of the peaceful one he was used to a dream plagued his mind.

_Jim, Spock, and McCoy were on a warm planet, it was a bit too warm for the humans but Spock found it comfortable. The Enterprise had been receiving a distress call from these coordinates but Spock was not picking up any life forms on the arid planet. While McCoy and Spock looked around the planet Jim called to the Enterprise and order additional scans of the planet._

_He took of in search of his friends and saw McCoy up ahead. He was about to call out to the good Doctor when he heard a click behind him. Gripping his phaser he turned and saw two life forms. They were taller than Jim by at least a foot and from neck to what he supposed were feet they were covered in glossy black and royal blue robes. Their heads were thinner and longer than a humans, but they were much shaper, one had clear grey eyes while the other's matched Jim's own blue._

"_I am - " Jim started before he was cut off by the one with grey eyes._

"_James T. Kirk, captain of the U.S.S Enterprise. Accompanied by Spock, your first officer and science officer, and Dr. McCoy, your chief medical officer."_

_Jim stared at them, his eyes wary and heard the sounds of the afore mentioned people walking over to him. Soon he heard the familiar high-pitched sound radiating from Spock's tri-corder. Jim didn't ask what they were but continued his conversation._

"_We mean no harm. We received a distress signal from your planet."_

"_Yes," replied the one with blue eyes. "We were the ones that sent out the signal hoping that you would respond."_

"_Nothing seems to be…out of order." he finished lamely and looked around. The three men were now in an underground cave, each of them contained in what looked like a glass tube. Jim touched it and pulled back instantly and paled. Water. He swallowed but quickly hid his fear and looked around to McCoy. _

_The Doctor was standing like a statue, his mouth and eyes closed as tight as he could get him it looking like he was trying to hold his breath. "Bones…Bones can you hear me?" Jim's voice echoed around his head and McCoy didn't flinch._

_He frowned and looked around to Spock, hopefully his ears would be able to hear Jim screaming for him. Spock looked furious, worse than when he had walked in and thought McCoy was hurting Jim purposely. Spock's fist pounded on the tube that was keeping him imprisoned. "Spock…Spock look at me!" _

_When Spock didn't look over Jim tried to step through the water that was surrounding him but found that it wrapped around his body. Jim panicked, trying to swim out of it. For what seemed like forever Jim struggled against the water, trying to break the surface. Just when his body was about to give up the water around him vanished and Jim found himself sitting on the floor, shaking with cold. _

_Just a few seconds apart he felt his friend on either side. He looked at Spock, who got there first. The brown eyes were laced with fear and worry. Jim saw cuts and shards of glass in his hands, green blood sliding into the sleeves of his blue shirt. To his right McCoy was gripping his hand, trying to talk him into slowing his breathing. McCoy was covered in small scratches and bites, his eyes filled with the same fear and worry that Spock's held. _

"_Are you both ok?" Jim finally asked. _

"_We're fine. Just sit and let me take a look at you." McCoy answered._

"_Look at Spock's hands first. He's bleeding, and so are you."_

"_We are fine Jim." Spock answered holding Jim's other hand. "Let the Doctor look at you." his voice was possessive as he tried to hide the emotions from his voice. _

"_Guys I'm fine…Spock I want opinions."_

"_From what I personally say with in my cell, I believe that the beings have been able to pin point our worst fears."_

_McCoy snorted, "I didn't know you could fear anything Spock."_

"_Not now." Jim said moving away from McCoy and standing up. His eyes took in the surroundings and he tried to reach the Enterprise but his communicator was dead, and his phaser was out of energy. _

_Again, Jim heard the soft click and turned around to see the same two aliens watching them. "Now then," the one with grey eyes spoke, "It is time to begin."_

"_Begin what?" Jim ordered. Now he was furious. His two best men and friends were subjected to their worst fears and he had been too consumed in his own that he did nothing to help them._

"_Our experiment." grey eyes said. "We have heard much about your courage and strength Captain, and we wish to test it ourselves."_

_Jim growled putting his hands on his hands on McCoy's and Spock's stomachs pushing them behind him. "Let them go."_

"_Noble isn't he?" blue eyes stated. A soft click was heard and McCoy and Spock were hanging by chains from something that Jim couldn't see. He went to run for them but with another click he was encased in his cell of swirling water. Jim looked at his friends' faces and saw confusion on Spock's and worry on McCoy's. _

_Jim swallowed and heard a yell and looked up to see McCoy struggling against his restraints in pain, Spock silent but doing the same. _

"_No." he said and tried to leave the water but felt himself drowning again. He shook trying to free himself. He saw his friends struggling and kept driving, focusing on freeing himself. He counted the seconds in his head, and those seconds became minutes. Suddenly there was and ear-piercing scream and Spock's voice yelling for the Doctor. Jim looked up and saw McCoy on the ground, lifeless._

"_BONES!" Jim roared._

"BONES!" Jim shot up out of his sleep, the pain almost gone, but he was drenched in cold sweat.

Hearing Jim scream McCoy rushed in, "Jim what's wrong?"

Jim looked at McCoy panting heavily. "You-you're ok."

McCoy looked at him. "Of course Jim." His voice was soft as he watched Jim with confused and worried eyes.

The Captain nodded and shivered. For the first time in his life he did not object to having McCoy checking him over. "I'm going to call Spock down, he'll want a report on you." He pressed the button and called Spock down to the sickbay.

Jim nodded numbly, "Bones can I ask you something?"

"Depends."

"What's your worst fear?"

McCoy tiled his head, his eyebrow slightly. "Rats. What's yours?"

"Water." he said softly.

Spock walked in and over to Jim as fast as he could. "You are awake."

Jim nodded, "What's your worst fear Spock?"

"I do not have any fears Jim. They are illogical."

"Of course they are." McCoy muttered and Jim just sighed rubbing his temples.

**A/N - So there it is. I hope you guys liked it. I have just a few questions because I got a few ideas for the story but I want to hear some feed back before I do it. **

**1) What did you think of the dream, is it one that should be played out in full?**

**2) I know I said there would be no more Kirk/Bones, but I got some ideas that could lead to some more challenges for the three down the road. Should I leave them were I left it or have it continue?**

**As always thank you for reading and I can't wait to hear from you guys. **

**L.A.**


	6. Staying Committed

**A/N - Hey guys. Sorry this one took a little longer than the rest. I just moved into my apartment and I didn't have internet until last night. Plus I had some writer's block with this one. I don't know how much longer the story is going to be, but things should start getting interesting soon. Hope you guys like it! Updates will probably take a little longer now but I'm going to try and finish this before school starts.**

* * *

It had been a week since Jim woke up in sickbay screaming for McCoy, but the Doctor was still worried about his best friend. Jim wouldn't tell him or Spock what had happened in the dream, but McCoy remembered the guilty and haunted look on Jim's face. The Captain had stopped eating and sleeping again and he was more reserved. McCoy didn't know how the rest of the crew could not notice something was wrong. Sure, Jim was still laughing and joking around but he looked miserable. His eyes said it all.

McCoy knew that Jim and Spock were seeing each other now, so he asked Spock to come to sickbay once he was done with his shift. With about thirty minutes till that happened, McCoy sat back in his chair poking at the dinner he had made himself. He didn't feel guilty about going behind Jim's back, but he was worried about how Spock was going to handle him calling a meeting about Jim. He closed his eyes, his mind going to his friend and captain.

"Doctor?"

McCoy looked up and saw Spock standing in the doorway. He pushed his cold food away from, "Come in."

Spock walked in and took the seat across from the desk. He sat with his hands on his lap, his back stiff as always. "You wished to speak to me." He stated.

"It's about Jim." He watched as Spock tensed as he said Jim's name.

"What about him Doctor?" Spock looked at McCoy and felt his eyes narrowing slightly. The Doctor was protective of Jim, and that was fine. But Jim was his concern, Jim was with him.

"He's not eating or sleeping. You can't tell me you haven't noticed."

"I have noticed and I have questioned him about it. He does not wish to speak about the matter and whenever I attempt to touch him to get a sense of what is going on he will not let me." Spock looked at McCoy, his eyes steely, "I can see that it is affecting him and I know that he only tells you some things. I was going to ask you if you would be willing to speak to him."

McCoy nodded, but was smiling inside. He knew Jim would be his in some way. McCoy tried to look at it as if they were both caretakers of Jim instead of both wanting his affections.

"You do know I won't tell you what I find out. It's his place to tell you."

Spock didn't look happy about it but nodded. "Very well. Anything else doctor?"

McCoy shook his head.

Spock nodded getting up. "I'm going to have dinner with Jim then." He walked out, his lips upturned a bit when he saw the scowl form on McCoy's face.

Silently, as always, Spock made his way to Jim's quarters and walked in after knocking twice.

Jim was laying on his bed, "Hey Spock." he said sitting up yawning.

"I can leave if you would prefer to sleep Jim. You are exhausted."

"No…stay. I'd like some company tonight. Don't feel much like sleeping." he said getting up. "What're you hungry for?"

"I am not incredibly picky Jim. You know what I cannot eat."

Jim nodded and put in two different orders in the replicator. "How was your day?" he asked lamely.

Spock walked over and put his hand on Jim's back. "It was fine Jim."

Jim moved into the warm hand that was on the small of his back. He kept his feelings and thoughts hidden and moved closer to the half-Human next to him. "This feels good." his voice was soft and tired. He pulled back when a _beep_ let him know the food was ready. Jim grabbed the hot plates and set them on his desk.

The two mainly sat and ate in silence, Jim thinking about everything that was going on in his crazy and mixed-up mind while Spock was contemplating why Jim was holding everything back like that. Surely there was a way to let Jim know what he only wanted to help with out pushing him away even further.

"Do you want to lay with me for a little while?" Jim asked out of the blue.

"I think I would find that agreeable." Spock responded, giving Jim a small smile.

Jim cleared the plates while Spock watched him move. He took this chance to admire the way his captain walked. Jim's hips seemed to move side to side slightly which drew Spock's attention downwards, and from there who could not help but watch.

Spock walked over to Jim and helped him remove the gold shirt that signified his rank before taking off his blue one. The two laid on Jim's bed, Jim relaxing into the warmth of Spock and the comfort of the mattress.

Spock gazed over Jim silently and wrapped his arm around the man's waist and moved him so their bodies were flushed together. He felt a tinge of green appear on his cheeks when Jim let out a content sigh and snuggled into him. Spock barely even noticed that the Captain was keeping this thoughts hidden from him.

Jim closed his eyes and rested his head on the pillow letting Spock's warmth keep him from getting cold. "I like this." he told his first officer.

"I do as well." Spock replied but his voice was gentle. Jim shivered as he felt a set of warm lips press against his neck. Smiling, Jim tilted his head slightly giving Spock permission to continue. He melted into the warm pecks that were placed along his neck and he felt Spock's grip tighten on his waist.

Spock could not stop himself. Once Jim's head moved to allow him better access he ran his lips over the skin memorizing what spots made Jim gasp a little. He removed his hand from Jim waist and pushed the black under-shirt aside and kissed Jim's shoulder. Spock heard a low growl come from the Captain and felt his own blood rush south. He licked his lips and bit down gently, sucking at the same spot.

He felt the captain move closer to him and Spock let his hand moved down Jim's side until it rested on his thigh. Slowly he rubbed Jim's leg before moving his hand and placing it under Jim's shirt. He marveled at the muscles that were always hidden under that gold shirt and decided it was a good thing Jim wore that shirt. Spock was sure that if he did not, he and other crew members would have a hard time focusing on their duties.

He came out of his trance when Jim whimpered slightly. Spock pulled his lips away and saw a light bruise on the shoulder and looked up to apologize. Jim shook his head and laid on his back pulling Spock on top of him.

"This will be more comfortable." he said smirking and pressed his lips to Spock's. Jim held Spock's waist, rubbing his thumbs over the shirt. He gripped the bottom of the shirt and lifted the shirt over Spock's head. "Much better."

Spock actually smirked and shook his head removing the Captain's. "That is much better." He leaned down capturing the Captain's lips again, their bodies reacting to each other. The kiss got heated and hands were wandering over bodies with nothing to stop them.

It was until Jim reached to undo Spock's pants that the half-Vulcan pulled back. "Not yet Jim."

"Why not?" he pouted.

_It is not fair for him to use that look, especially in such a compromising position._ "Because in the current state of both of us I do not believe that we would enjoy it as much as we would both like."

Jim frowned but gave in as Spock got off of him. "Fine." From his bed Jim watched Spock pull his shirt on. Smirking he got up and walked Spock to the door.

"Good night Jim."

Jim pressed against him, kissing him deeply his hand rubbing the inside of Spock's thigh. He pulled back suddenly and looked up at a very speechless half-Vulcan. "Good night Spock."

Spock watched as Jim walked to his bed, obviously the Captain was not as careful as he thought he was. As soon as Jim was against him Spock felt a sense of need, loss, and guilt. He eyed Jim and walked out, intending on having a very long talk with a certain doctor.

Another week passed and Doctor McCoy and Spock were planning on the best way to go about confronting Jim on what was going on. After some arguing they decided that the Doctor should try and get it out of Jim first. The chance came when Spock called from the bridge, reporting that Jim had not showed up for his shift

McCoy walked down the hall and knocked on Jim's door. After a few minutes of knocking he entered his over-ride code and walked in. Jim was laying on his bed, tangled in a mass of sheets and blankets and still struggling against them.

He hurried over, "Jim…Jim!"

Jim woke up and looked at McCoy, "Bones." he said. His voice was raspy and he was covered in a thin film of cold sweat.

Silently McCoy untangled the Captain, "Come to sickbay, get some rest there so I know you won't choke yourself on the sheets."

"I have to get to the bridge." he said getting up and changed without bothering to take a shower. McCoy sighed, worried to much to look Jim over.

"How about I make you a deal?"

"A deal…that's never good." he said smirking.

McCoy knew he had to do something while Jim's guard was down. He walked over and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I'll let you go to the bridge…"

"If…"

"If," he continued, "you let me monitor your sleeping for the next couple of nights."

Jim's raised his eyebrow. "I think you're just looking for an excuse to stay with me and screw me Bones."

While the thought had occurred to McCoy, Jim's health was worrying him enough to make him forget his lust for the man. "Maybe when we get some meat back on you." he said smirking. "Do we have a deal?"

Jim sighed and sat on his bed thinking. Let McCoy see him like that or become victim to hypos and Vulcan mind melds. He didn't want anyone to see him while he slept. He knew the nightmares were bad, that he tossed and screamed.

But when he was younger, sometimes staying with his brother or mother at night would keep nightmares away. Maybe McCoy could do the same thing. He looked up at the Doctor who was waiting impatiently for an answer.

"Fine, but that doesn't mean I'm telling you everything."

"I think we'll work something out. I'll come back at 2100. You'll be eating a full meal when I get here just so you know."

"Yes mom." he grumbled and walked to the bridge with the man.

The ride in the lift was silent and once they got to the bridge Jim could feel everyone's eyes on him. "Get back to work. Christ can't a man be a little late one day with out getting stared at?" he snapped.

McCoy and Spock traded looks and the half-Vulcan walked over putting a hand on Jim's shoulder, McCoy did the same on the other side. "Calm down Jim." McCoy said his grip firm.

"I'm fine…don't you both have something to do besides make sure I'm a good boy? I can run this ship you know." he flashed them both a cocky grin.

McCoy walked to the lift and Spock followed him. "I'm staying with him tonight to see if there's anything I can do to help him sleep. I'll let you know in the morning." McCoy got on the lift with a smug smile but Spock just nodded, knowing it was logical for the Doctor and Jim to do something like this; Jim trusted the Doctor more than anyone. Spock also had a thought that Jim might not want Spock seeing him in such a compromising and weak position. What if he reported it to Star Fleet?

Jim blamed the tardiness on a migraine, which people knew he was prone to and they left him alone, Jim with a headache meant a very grumpy and very snappy Captain Kirk. He didn't leave to eat or anything, just took care of business from the bridge and only left with Spock once the shift was over.

"Bones is staying with me tonight. He's worried about my sleep patterns."

Spock nodded though he didn't look thrilled with the thought. "He and I both Captain. I hope you will let me know what he thinks when he gives you the report."

"We'll see Spock." he said and flashed him a smirk. He pressed his lips to Spock's and the two stayed attached for a few moments before walking to their rooms.

Spock walked in and set up his meditation equipment and sat on the floor, running his thoughts and feelings through his mind.

Jim took a shower and shaved for the first time that day and saw the circles under his eyes. He looked like shit. He looked at the clock, he still have a couple hours before McCoy showed up. Jim got an apple and munched on it before laying in his bed thinking. He had a feeling McCoy and Spock were in on this together, and deep down he was flattered, but more than that he was frustrated. Jim could take care of himself.

Jim was drawn out of his thoughts when there was a knock on his door. He looked at the clock, _damn that man is always on time._ He got up and opened the door, "Bones." he said flashing a smile. "We don't have to do this…I was asleep when you knocked."

"Sure you were Jim." he said walking in and setting a cot down. He walked over and ordered Jim dinner before setting it up.

Jim sighed and changed for bed, just sleeping in a pair of black sweats.

"Eat up."

The Captain looked over and grumbled. Sometimes he hated having a doctor as a best friend. He sat down poking at the food.

"I will force feed you. Don't make me call Spock in."

Jim growled and shoveled the food in so he wouldn't taste it. He moved over to his bed and laid down, McCoy waving the scanner over his body. "Get to sleep Jim, probably the best thing for you."

"Shows what you know." he muttered and covered up. He turned and watched McCoy change and smiled. The man wasn't bad looking, definitely not bad looking. Jim flashed McCoy a wicked smile and watched a blush appear on the man's face.

"Sleep Jim." he said getting on the cot.

"Yeah yeah yeah, you're no fun." Jim closed his eyes able to feel McCoy watching him He smiled lightly and fell asleep.

McCoy had just fallen asleep when he heard Jim start to toss and turn. He sat up silently his eyes on his best friend. Jim was mumbling in his sleep, his body shaking and starting to sweat. McCoy ran his fingers through his hair, "It's ok Jim." he muttered.

He watched Jim's face as the dream played out, fear and pain were visible in all of his features. What really surprised McCoy was when Jim started screaming.

"No! Leave them alone!"

"Jim!"

"Bones! BONES! SPOCK!"

"Jim!" McCoy shouted.

The Captain shot up and looked at McCoy, and the Doctor swore he saw tears in Jim's eyes. He sat on the edge of the bed wrapping his arms around the younger man. "I gotcha Jim."

Unable to resist Jim collapsed into his side shaking. "They won't stop until it happens but I won't let it happen. I can't."

"What won't stop…the dreams?"

Jim nodded and there was a knock on the door. "I don't want to see anyone." he whispered.

"Its probably Spock."

He sighed getting up and walked over opening the door. Instead of Spock there was a young woman, "Captain I heard you yell. Is everything alright?"

McCoy was sure Jim flashed a sweet smile, "Everything is fine. Carry on." With that Jim shut the door and walked over to the bed. "Lay with me." he said simply.

McCoy wrapped his arms around Jim and smiled when he rested his head on his chest. "Get some rest ok Jim? I'll watch you."

Jim nuzzled his chest and held his waist. "You two make it so hard." he whispered.

"Me and Spock?"

He nodded.

"What do we make hard?"

"Staying committed." he said and leaned up pecking McCoy's lips. "Night Bones."

He returned it. "Night Jim." McCoy watch as Jim fell asleep in his arms and stayed peaceful. He smiled and kissed his head, "You make it hard too kid." he said softly before falling asleep.

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**A/N - So…what did you guys think? Let me know. I know what I'm going to do for the next few chapters but it might take me a while to get them to where I want them. Be honest in everything as always. I'm a big girl, I can take criticism if that's what you think I need…or just tell me I'm awesome. Thanks as always.**

**L.A.**


	7. Night Terrors

**A/N - Number seven…I have this feeling that I'm losing readers because of the turns the story is taking. I know Jim is a little whorish, Bones is a little more sensitive, and my Spock isn't what people see as a Spock, but bear with me. **

**Stories like this very rarely stay true to character because you can never take someone else's characters and replicate them. Please just keep an open mind with the story. I'm really enjoying the process of creating it, but if my reader's are gone then the story will end. Let me know you're out there and tell me what you think!**

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Jim woke up and groaned gently going to sit up but stopped when he heard a groan answer his own. He looked down and saw arms wrapped around his waist. Smiling he followed the arms and found McCoy laying next to him. Silently he ran his fingers through McCoy's hair thinking about everything.

Feeling sick to his stomach he got out of McCoy's arms so he didn't wake him up and made his way to the bathroom splashing his face with water. Maybe you can't teach old dogs new tricks. Jim wanted nothing but to be loyal to Spock but there was something in him that needed McCoy by his side. Jim hadn't slept this well in a long time. He rubbed his face again sighing.

"Jim?" McCoy looked over and saw his friend standing in the bathroom his face pained and confused. "Jim, what's wrong?"

"Nothing Bones." came the answer.

McCoy got up walking over to Jim and rubbed his back. He smiled when the tense muscles relaxed under his hands. He stood behind him rubbing Jim's shoulders, "Come on, get back to bed. You get tomorrow off to relax and go over some things with me and Spock if you want ok?"

Jim nodded and moved into McCoy's hands. "W-Will you still lay with me?"

"Of course." he said leading him to the bed, his hand on the small of his back. McCoy laid down with Jim pulling the man's body against his.

The Captain sighed and turned so he face facing McCoy, but kept the contact between their bodies. He smiled lightly as McCoy shifted to stay close. "You know Bones…I wish there were two of me, or that I had turned out different."

"Why?"

"Because no matter what happens someone is going to get hurt."

"Did you grow a conscience?"

"Funny Bones." he said propping himself on his elbow. "I mean, I figured I would want to settle down one day, and I don't believe that you can just be attracted to one person forever. Lucky me right…the two guys I want are my best friends."

"You know I won't try anything right?"

"Takes the fun out of it." Jim said smirking. "I know what I want Bones. I want both you of you."

"Jim that's not - " McCoy let out a soft moan when Jim kissed him. His hands gripped Jim's waist and pushed him back, "Come on kid…no teasing."

Jim ignored him kissing him again, getting on top of him. He smirked when he felt the Doctor responding to his touches. "You were saying Bones?"

He grunted pulling Jim down crushing their lips together. Both men felt an intense warmth coursing through their bodies, both of them wanting more of it. Jim clambered his way on top of McCoy, his hands pinning the Doctor's.

McCoy nipped Jim's ear lobe earning a throaty, "Bones." from the younger man. That sound sent a spark through the Doctor that he hadn't felt in a long time. Forcefully he flipped the two of them over, his hands moving lower on Jim until they held his waist. He slid his tongue into Jim's mouth, moaning at the taste, pulling their bodies together so no space remained. A soft whimper escaped Jim, wordlessly begging McCoy for more.

Jim intertwined their legs, moving his body against McCoy's. Both men allowed moans to escape them. As the time went, everything became more heated, more desperate.

The two bodies collided together and hands were tangled with each other. Sheets and blankets were thrown off the bed as they lost themselves. Neither knew how much time passed before they just laid next to each other.

"I'm in so much trouble." Jim groaned.

McCoy smiled sadly, "Regret?"

Jim shook his head, "No, but have you ever been choked by a Vulcan? It hurts."

McCoy laughed softly and pulled Jim close to him, "Just rest ok. I'll take care of Spock."

"Nicely." he yawned.

"Yes, nicely."

"Bones," Jim said softly. "I can't change, I can't just be with one person. You'll both get hurt. I should just stop everything now."

"Jim get some sleep. We'll figure it out later." with that McCoy pressed a soft kiss to Jim's temple, "Sleep."

Jim nodded and fell asleep and McCoy pressed the button, "McCoy to Spock."

"Spock here."

"Jim's gonna take the day and sleep. He didn't get much sleep last night. Once your shift is over meet me in sickbay and we can figure out what to do."

"Very well. I will meet you then." he said.

McCoy got up and changed, leaving a note for Jim before going and preparing for the day.

Jim woke up and spent the day in his room, his mind trying to sort through the feelings he had for his two friends. They were so different and both made him feel wanted for once. He was pretty sure that he was screwed when Spock found out he had a thing for McCoy. Spock would make him choose, McCoy didn't seem to be heading in the direction. Most of the time, the world seemed to give in to James T. Kirk, but this time it didn't seem that way.

Spock left the bridge early, the need to see Jim was taking his mind off his work. He knocked on the door before walking in, "Jim?"

He smiled when he saw Jim walk into the main part of the room in just his blank pants.

"Hey Spock." he said giving him a smile.

"Jim." he said walking over to him. He wrapped his arms around the Captain and kissed him slowly. Spock pulled the man closer not wanting to let him go. Slowly, the primal urge that he felt whenever he was close to Jim made itself know. He pushed Jim onto the bed, a smirk forming on his face.

Unable to resist that look Jim felt himself smile and lay back on the bed giving into the half-Vulcan that was standing above him. Spock laid on him, his lips devouring his own. Jim moaned but heard McCoy's voice, "Jim, come to sickbay. Spock should be on his way here."

"We will be there shortly." Spock answered.

Jim shrunk as he heard the smugness in Spock's voice and the growl that came from McCoy's. Spock kissed Jim again before getting up. Jim finished getting dressed and walked down the hall with Spock to the sickbay.

McCoy was waiting for them when they walked in and motioned them to his desk. Jim took a seat and felt like he was placed between his two friends for a purpose. He rubbed his head while he listened to Spock and McCoy. Jim thought they were talking about him but he couldn't be sure.

"What do you think Jim?"

"Hmm?" he asked looking up giving them both a smile.

"What do you think about our idea?" Spock asked, his eyebrow raised as he looked at his Captain.

"Great idea. Let's do it." he said sending them both a warm and cocky smile that made them both want to jump the man right there in the sickbay. Jim got up and walked to the mess hall leaving his Chief Medical Officer and first officer behind.

That evening Jim was reading over reports in his rooms when the chimes went off. "Come in." Jim looked up and smile when he say McCoy. "Come to get your cot?"

"Spock and I are staying in here tonight…remember?"

Jim paled, "Is that what I agreed to?"

He nodded watching Jim closely. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…when is Spock getting here?"

"I'm right here Jim."

Jim and McCoy watched as Spock walked in. He kissed Jim, his dark eyes going to McCoy, warning him to steer clear of Jim. McCoy rolled his eyes, "He needs to get to bed Spock."

"Of course Doctor."

Jim was laid on the bed by Spock and McCoy gave him a light sedative. "We'll be right here ok Jim?"

The Captain nodded and felt his eyes close against his will. The men watched him, talking silently about their captain. It took about an hour before Jim started to dream. McCoy nodded and Spock placed his fingers on Jim's face, immersing himself in the dream.

McCoy watched for almost an hour as Spock and Jim shook with the nightmare. Out of no where Spock pulled back his eyes watering, "There is no way. It is so illogical."

"What're you - "

Jim screamed in his bed, his eyes wide open. "BONES! BONES!" he roared. Jim struggled, Spock holding him down so he didn't hurt anyone. "SPOCK!" he yelled trying to run.

"Jim!" McCoy shook him. "God dammit." he growled getting a hypo. "Night terrors." Spock forced Jim's head to the side and Spock could barely here the familiar _woosh_ over Jim's screams. Just a couple seconds later Jim's body relaxed and he groaned, his eyes blinking.

He rubbed his eyes and saw McCoy and Spock looking at him out of wide eyes. The half-Vulcan pulled Jim to him, keeping him close to his chest. As Jim shook he reached his hand back and McCoy grabbed onto it, getting as close as he could. "We're here Jim." he said softly.

Jim fell into an exhausted sleep and reluctantly Spock moved him to sickbay. "Spock what did you see?"

Spock rubbed his temples methodically, "He was watching us die. We were all on a planet, captured, held by something that showed our worst fears. He was too scared to save us, so he watched us die."

McCoy sighed and the two sat there pouring over the details that were in Jim's dream. "He told about this thing that happens with him, how parts of his dreams come true. He's scared this is going to happen to us."

"Even for Jim, thinking something like this would really happen is highly illogical."

"I saw you get hurt, before you were in the coma." Jim's tired voice came from the door way. "That's why I got to you so quickly. I saw something that triggered the memory. Its one of the reasons I felt so guilty. I knew it was going to happen and I didn't stop it! I won't let it happen again!"

McCoy hurried over and wrapped his arms around Jim, "We won't let it happen ok?"

Jim nodded into his neck and Spock growled walking over.

"Not now Spock." McCoy warned.

Jim brought his gaze up and saw an angry look Spock and a worried looking McCoy. _Tonight is turning out to be one hell of a night._ "Both of you go to your quarters. Get some sleep. After our shifts tomorrow we have work to do.

"What's that?"

"You two are going to help me get over my fear."

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**A/N - Ok, so like I said, let me know what you think because this story is on the verge of dying if my reader's appear to be gone. Give me suggestions, comments, concerns, requests…anything! Thanks for reading.**

**L. A.**


	8. Treading Water

**A/N - I just want to thank all the ones the reviewed. It made me feel beyond awesome and I am definitely going to keep this story going for all of you! This chapter isn't as long as the others but I still like it. Let me know what you think.**

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The next day, for the most part, Jim was himself. He walked around the ship laughing and smiling at things, gave commands when he needed to, took control back of his ship. You couldn't tell that inside he was scared and torn. Jim absolutely, positively did not want to meet McCoy and Spock that evening to get over his fear. Ever since he was twelve years old he avoided water unless he could avoid it; even shower's or baths were short so he could get away from the death trap.

After his shift he walked to his quarters and sat on his bed. He rested his elbows on his thighs and his head in his hands. He never should have asked them to help him with this. He watched the minutes tick by, his mind going back and forth on the issue.

McCoy and Spock sat near the pool waiting for Jim to show up. "Has he ever told you anything about this?"

"No, Doctor. I find the fear of water highly illogical. Water is a basic need that none of us can be without."

"Look Spock, something probably happened to Jim when he was younger. You've never almost drowned or anything?"

Spock raised his eyebrow, his eyes focused on the Doctor. "No." he said simply. "In fact, I have never had any difficulty with water or fears."

"Let's hope that stays true." The two men looked over in the direction the familiar voice had come from. Spock raised an eyebrow and McCoy smirked when they saw Jim walk out of the locker room.

Jim was in a pair standard black swim trunks, and just had a towel draped over his arm. True, both men had seen Jim with far less clothing but there was something about seeing him in this casual setting and soon dripping with water…well both Spock and McCoy were waiting for that.

"You guys could close your mouths…it's a little awkward." Jim smirked and watched as his senior officers straightened up and cleared their throats. "Why don't we just go get a cup of coffee or something?"

"Nice try Jim." McCoy said and patted the spot between them. "So why're you scared of water?"

Spock placed his hand on Jim's back and the shorter man looked at the ground. "I've told you both a little about my step father." He didn't need to look to know that his two friends nodded. "Water was a form of punishment. Since he didn't smack me around there was no evidence that he was doing anything. Water was untraceable."

Spock felt the fear and helplessness rush through Jim, before he felt the false confidence return, "Let's do this."

McCoy nodded his eyes not leaving Jim. He had known that his childhood wasn't the best, but he had no idea that this kind of abuse had been used on Jim. "Shallow end Jim." he said giving him a comforting smile. He got up and led Jim over to the steps. "Jim?"

The Captain was looking down at the water, his normally bright blue eyes blank. _Just water, it's just water Jim_ he told himself. Everything started coming back to him.

_His mother had been gone for a month and Jim and Sam were left at home with their step-father. Needless to say, Jim wasn't taking it well, and he got into his first fight at school. Technically he hadn't started it, but he sure as hell finished it. Since his mother was off planet Jim was disciplined by the man she used to replace his father. _

"_Little shit…learn your lesson." He brought his hand up and struck Jim in the face. He watched the boy fall and saw the red mark on his cheek, "That won't do." His voice came in a growl._

_Jim scampered towards the wall in an attempt to get away from the man but was lifted up easily. He struggled and was thrown into the bathroom. No matter what he did he couldn't over power the man._

"_W-what're you doing?" _

"_Shut up Jimmy." he growled filling the tub up. _

_Jim struggled as his head was forced under the cold water. He gripped the tub trying to get out. He screamed under the water, feeling the water invade his lungs._

"Jim!" Spock grabbed his shoulders, McCoy was standing next to him.

"I'm ok…I'm ok." he gave them a smile. "Little distracted is all."

"You sure you want to do this Jim?"

"Yes." _No._

He moved away from Spock and stepped into the water, shaking. McCoy walked in next to him, Spock stayed by the stairs and watched Jim's every move. McCoy took his hand and led him into the water, Spock keeping a hand on Jim's shoulder from the edge.

Jim shook, his blue eyes going between McCoy and Spock. "We're not letting go Jim." McCoy said giving him a smile.

"We will not leave your side." Spock reassured him.

It felt like eternity passed for Jim as he walked around the shallow side of the pool. He looked at McCoy and Spock and the images of them dying before his eyes started tp play in his mind. He moved away from them.

"Jim what are you doing?" Spock demanded, his eyes showing worry.

McCoy watching, with one eyebrow raised as Jim went under the water. He moved closer, letting his eyes travel to Spock.

Underwater, Jim closed his eyes, letting the memory of his dream over take him. He felt the water close in around him and he clenched his fists. _Stay calm…stay calm. You're doing this for Bones and Spock. _Jim felt hands grab his shoulders and he started struggling.

"Jim calm down." Spock's voice called. He pulled the Captain out of the water and laid him on the ground. McCoy hopped out of the pool and kneeled next to him.

"Let's get him to his room. He should get some rest."

"Of course Doctor."

Jim didn't hear their voices. Jim heard their screams as he struggled to break free of the water. He couldn't move, tears streamed down his face.

"Take him to sickbay instead." McCoy said quickly.

The three made their way to sickbay without meeting anyone. There McCoy sedated Jim and they got him changed, both ashamed when they took an extra minute to admire the man's body while it was wet.

Silently, no animosity between them, they sat in McCoy's office and fell asleep.

~*~*~

McCoy and Spock talked Jim out of trying again, at least until he got over what happened when they attempted it. He agreed after they both cornered him multiple times, but his nightmares came back and it was something that he knew he had to face.

Over the next few days McCoy and Spock believed that Jim looked tired because of the nightmares. He wouldn't let either of them stay with him at night, he didn't want them to see him like that. Jim was also upset because he wanted both of them he didn't want to hurt them but he couldn't help it.

On the bridge, when all was quiet, he would stare at the view screen. He would hardly blink and Spock noticed that his breathing rate was lower when he was like this. He claimed nothing was wrong, but Spock could sense hurt and fear when Jim went into these trances.

Jim let them believe it was the nightmares that were making him tired and distracting him during the day. In the middle of the night he was sneaking to the pool determined to get over his fear. He would force himself to stay under the water until he was on the verge of passing out. He thought he was getting better, he hoped he was anyway.

The Captain was brought out of his thoughts when he heard Uhura call his name. "Captain, we're receiving a distress signal."

Spock and Jim locked eyes before he swallowed, "Set and lock course."

_God I hope I'm ready._

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**A/N - There it is. There will be more action in the next chapter. As always, leave me something!**

**L.A.**


	9. Dreams Do Come True

**A/N - Ok, so here is chapter nine. It gets a little dramatic and OOC in some places so forgive me. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

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Jim was determined to make this go differently than his dream had. So he started with changing how they went down to the surface. Instead of having Spock on his right he placed McCoy next to him and Spock on his left and slightly behind him. He felt the unwelcome but familiar tingling sensation and felt his body tense.

"Captain there are no - "

"Indications of life." Jim finished for Spock. "I know. Both of you stay next to me."

McCoy and Spock flanked his sides, their eyes glued to his face. Normally Jim was excited when they explored a new planet, but today he was cautious and silent. "Jim, I'm sure everything will be fine."

"It's the same damn planet. Dry and fucking hot." he growled. He looked around, not letting his friends leave his side as he kept his hand on his phaser. He was silent when he heard the sound he was dreading. Jim, Spock, and McCoy turned and faced the creatures that had been haunting Jim's mind for weeks now.

They were exactly like he remembered seeing them in his head. They were taller than he was, the angles in their faces were much sharper. The robes they wore hung to the ground and were black and deep blue. There was only one way to tell the two beings apart, and that was their eyes. One had story grey and the other had crystal blue. Jim shuddered at the sight.

He swallowed before he spoke, "I am - "

"Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise. Spock, First Officer and Science Officer, and Doctor McCoy, Chief Medical Officer."

Jim narrowed his eyes slightly, not able to keep the peaceful and friendly look on his face. "We come with friendly intentions, we received a distress signal from this planet and came to investigate." _Keep changing it up Jim_, he told himself, _don't let them win_.

"Yes, we sent the signal in hopes that you would come."

"Nothing seems…" he heard the click. "I'm not even going to finish the thought." he said bitterly. His eyes went to Spock and McCoy and he gave his friends a soft smile.

The two watched Jim carefully, both knew what was coming and they were preparing themselves for it.

"Something's wrong." Jim said softly. By now they should be in their cages. He looked around, not daring to move. The darkness around him was vast and never seemed to end. Normally darkness like this was a comfort; it was one of the reasons he had gone into space, besides the challenge from Pike of course.

"Captain, maybe you were wrong." Spock said taking a step towards him.

Jim glanced at him but saw the three were feet apart and encased in the tubes that became their personal hells. Without even touching it he could feel the rush of the water and the chill that came with it. His blue eyes looked over and he saw McCoy standing straight and stiff, his eyes closed and holding his breath. Spock was banging on the glass, his eyes narrowed.

He sighed and stood perfectly still trying to fight the feeling of being closed in, of water entering his lungs. _It's an illusion…_he tried telling himself but he felt the fear taking over his mind as the water climbed higher and sucked him under. He struggled against the water, his mind going to his childhood.

McCoy hated rats, couldn't stand the diseased creatures for as long as he could remember. When he felt himself separated from Jim and inside this tube he knew what was coming. His body tensed instantly and he felt something crawling at his feet. He refused to look down and soon he could feel small claws digging into his clothes and skin.

He clenched his fists and cursed, the little shits were hungry. They gnawed at his skin and he could feel small streams of blood flowing over his skin. _Damn rats_. He shuddered as he felt tails wrap around his lag and claws dig in deeper. McCoy forced his mind to think of something else.

Spock started off stiff and rigid like always. His face was calm and stoic, expressionless; all that changed when he heard a familiar scream. Silently he raised his gaze and saw Jim in front of him, a whip coming down on his bare back. From where he was he could see the pain on Jim's face and smell the blood that had already fallen. He could see that his lover was trying to fight the pain, but lash after lash was breaking his will slowly.

He felt the rage boil inside him and Spock banged his fist on the glass, feeling it crack under his force. He would not yell, but he would do everything in his power to get out and help Jim. With all his strength, he pounded his fists against the glass, feeling shards push deeper into his skin. He pushed the pain into the back of his mind when he remembered what Jim said. These people played off of your fears. He clasped his hands behind his back and closed his eyes.

Spock heard the yelling fade and McCoy felt the gnawing cease. Both looked over and saw Jim struggling against non-existent water. They watched as the tube disappeared and Jim fell to his knees shaking.

Spock reached him first, McCoy just seconds after. McCoy rubbed his back, trying to get him to breath normally Spock watching with his eyebrow raised. "Come on Jim." the Doctor said gruffly. Almost asking for permission McCoy looked at Spock who nodded.

McCoy sat behind Jim and put his hand on his chest. He shivered at how cold his skin was but forced that from his mind. "Come on Jim, breath with me." He counted softly, measuring their breaths. Slowly but surely he felt Jim's heart rate slow down and his breathing even out. "There you go." He smiled at Jim who gave him a weak smile. "Go see Spock, you need to warm up."

"Yes Doctor." Jim forced a smirk and moved into Spock's side and took in the warmth. His blue eyes went back and forth between them. "We aren't done yet." he said softly.

"Jim, you have altered the outcome of the dream. Maybe they have learned what they wanted."

"On the contrary, we have not yet begun the experiment." James looked up and saw the blue eyed being looking at him. "Captain, your strength and courage has been discussed across the galaxy, we wish to test it ourselves."

Slowly Jim stood up pushing Spock and McCoy behind him, the gesture too familiar and he knew it would do nothing to spare his friends. "Let them return to the ship, do what you want with me."

The grey eyes creature looked at his friend, "Noble is he - "

"No I am not noble." Jim's voice a growl that caused McCoy to jump and Spock to raised his eyebrow. "I do not want my friends hurt because you guys want some entertainment."

The two alien creatures gazed at Jim, their eyes shocked, if they could look shocked. They turned their heads towards each other and discussed something. Spock and McCoy both gave Jim a reassuring smile, Spock gave him a loving glance and McCoy patted his shoulder; things were definitely going different.

"Captain," grey eyes said, "While we appreciate your efforts to protect your friends, we also want to observe your strength."

Jim heard the soft click and felt the water surround him again. Instantly he started pounding on his tiny cell, "No! NO!" His words merely came out in bubbles and he felt himself struggling against the water. He looked ahead of him and saw Spock and McCoy struggling against chains, pain written on their faces. They were trying to be strong for him.

Outside of the cage, the two creatures watched Jim with interest. "Your Captain cares deeply for you."

McCoy and Spock were detained, but no harm was coming to them. They were in their cells, but they watched and listened as Jim struggled in his. "Stop it! Can't you see what you're doing to him?!" McCoy demanded.

Spock remained ever silent, allowing concern to seep from his gaze as he watched Jim battle the water that he thought he was going to drown in. "Jim can survive this Doctor." McCoy noted the hint of uncertainty that hung in his voice.

Jim watched, feeling helpless as he watch Spock and McCoy struggle for their lives. All his time in the water, all that time torturing himself and he was going to let them die. He held back the tears and gritted his teeth. He put his feet against the back of the tube and jammed his shoulder into it, trying desperately to break free.

His feet slipped when he felt his should split, the joint separating. He scream burst from his mouth. He looked up and saw McCoy fall to the floor.

From the outside all four could see the anguish the came across his face, some of the light fading from his eyes. "Bones get up! BONES!" Jim just saw the bubbled rise from his mouth, but his friends and captors heard him.

"Dammit Jim I'm right here! Let him out of there!" he yelled at the ones conducting the so-called experiment.

"BONES!" he screamed again.

McCoy watched heart broken as Jim started to give up. "Hey, he's still got you to live for Spock."

He looked at the Doctor and raised his eyebrow. "Doctor?"

"Heh…thought he told you."

Inside his prison Jim watched the limp form of McCoy on the ground before returning his eyes to Spock. Spock was still there. He still had someone to cling to. The water surrounding him was numbing his body, making it harder for him to keep his head above the water.

With his shoulder being numb, though it wasn't the best idea, he went back to ramming the cage with a new force. He would not lose Spock to. Losing McCoy had vanished half of his heart, if he lost Spock he wouldn't be able to go on.

His face still contorted in pain as he jumbled the damaged nerves in his arms, so he put his back against the wall and started pounding his feet against the cage. Jim smirked and his eyes narrowed slightly as cracks formed. His knee caved but he was almost there.

Jim looked up to give Spock reassurance, to let him know that he was coming, but he felt what air he had leave his body. Spock was falling from his chains, green blood staining his skin and shirt.

"SPOCK!" Jim watched as the half-Vulcan fell to the ground. "NO!" With all the might that he could muster he fought his cage. The glass around him shattered and he fell to the ground. "Spock." he whimpered his eyes closing as he body gave in.

Once Jim had broken free the cages disappeared from Spock and McCoy, the latter find his medical scanner back on his person. As usual, Spock got to Jim first but McCoy wasn't far behind.

"He should be ok, we need to get him back to the ship." As he finished speaking he saw Jim laying in the hot dirt, him and Spock kneeling next to him on the surface of the planet.

Without missing a beat Spock pulled his communicator off his belt, "Spock to Enterprise."

"Scott here Mr. Spock." came the reply.

"Beam us up Mr. Scott."

Spock picked the Captain up gently and a painful groan escaped the soaking wet human. He could feel the chill coming from Jim and he pulled him closer. Spock felt himself dematerializing and once back on the pad he and McCoy wasted no time in running to sickbay.

Not because he was cruel, but for sanitation purposes he kept Spock out of the operating room; the half-Vulcan's hand needed to be cleaned and bandaged anyway. Spock knew McCoy needed to have the bites looked out, but neither Spock or the Doctor trusted Jim's life to anyone else. McCoy allowed himself to be sprayed with disinfectant and was in proper scrubs before he started on Jim.

Jim was being warmed up as the Doctor put his should back in place and set the tiny fractures to mend. Jim's knee was shattered by the amount of force he had been putting behind his kicks. Slowly and carefully he mended the knee before taking care of the minor cuts and bruises that Jim had acquired on the planet.

Exhausted he walked out to the main room of his sickbay and saw Spock sitting up on one of the bio beds. McCoy gave Spock a rare smile, "Give me a minute to change and I'll tell you everything." He disappeared in his office and changed after he received a nod from Spock.

McCoy called him in after he poured himself a drink. Spock sat opposite of the Doctor, his gaze unwavering as he waited.

"Jim had very little water in his lungs, which is surprising for the amount of time his head was under the water. I don't think that they really wanted to kill him just test him, sure picked one hell-of-a-way to do it though."

Spock nodded in agreement, though he did not pleased at the fact. "I have come to the same conclusion Doctor. I do not agree with the way the Captain was handled, of the way that we were treated, but they did not intend to kill us."

McCoy observed Spock and went on with his report after a few moments. "While in the…cage he managed to dislocate his shoulder and fracture it in several places. He all but shattered his knee, I did what I could for the injuries. All in all physically, he should be fine. He'll be sore when he older and maybe ever occasionally now, but fine none the less."

He looked at his desk, "I'm worried about his mental health though. He doesn't know that we survived, he believes he saw us both die. I've never seen his eyes so dull Spock, I think he might give up."

Spock listened to the Doctor go on, his eyebrows coming together in frustration. "I may be able to help there Doctor. Would you object to a mind meld?"

Silently McCoy tried to read Spock's expression, and he prided himself on the fact that he was getting better at it. He had watch Spock meld with Jim before, and while he trusted Spock and would do anything for Jim, he wasn't looking forward to it. Mutely, he nodded.

He led Spock to Jim and watched him. Spock obviously cared for Jim and as he watched the first officer stroked Jim's cheek he knew that he needed to be out of the way. Spock and Jim were meant to be. A sad smile graced his face, but he shook his head when he saw Spock watching him.

"Are you ready Doctor?" With McCoy's nod Spock proceeded to place a hand on his face and one on Jim's placing his fingers in the correct place and speaking the correct words, both Spock and McCoy were granted access to Jim's unstable mind.

McCoy was amazed, it was as Jim was wandering around aimlessly without even trying find his way back to the surface. He didn't' even realize their presence. Spock and McCoy heard him mourning them, heart breaking sobs ripping through his mind and McCoy couldn't take it any longer.

"Jim?"

The sobbing stopped and McCoy smiled lightly, "Jim?" he called again.

"B-Bones?"

"Yeah it's me and Spock."

"It can't be." he voice sounded like a frightened child's. "I saw you die."

"It was all an illusion Jim. It was meant to test you." Spock's clear voice chimed in. "We were not harmed."

Everything was silent for moment, but the blackness that was Jim Kirk's mind seemed to dissolve at hearing their voices.

"Bones…Spock." he muttered. That atmosphere lightened and it was a blinding mix of blue, green, and gold. Neither Spock or McCoy knew the significance of the colors, but Jim did. They were the colors that he associated with the three of them.

Blue was McCoy, his Bones. Blue because of the color he wore, a brave color, a color that was regal and loyal.

Green was Spock. Green because it was one of Jim's favorite colors, it was the color of Spock's blood, it was the color he blushed when Jim said something inappropriate.

Gold was Kirk. Gold because Kirk was the golden boy no matter what he did. His hair was gold, his skin was golden, it also showed his power and his strength.

The explanation coming from Kirk's mind made them smile, even if McCoy's faltered a bit, but he had already made that choice. They could feel the smile coming from Jim, "You guys made it." they could hear his voice even if they couldn't see him.

"Don't you fucking die on me Jim." McCoy said in a playful growl.

"We will be waiting Jim." Spock added.

He pulled his hands away from McCoy and Jim. His dark eyes landed on McCoy who stood up and nodded towards his office so that he could talk to Spock without disturbing Jim.

"He's your's."

Spock raised his eyebrow, "Excuse me Doctor?"

"Jim and I…we had an informal relationship. He couldn't chose between us. "

"I see." he said, his eyebrow still raised.

"But he's your's. I won't fight for him."

"Fascinating."

McCoy could have sworn that the damn half-Vulcan's eyebrow disappeared off his head.

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**A/N - Sooo…whatcha think? Let me know. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter and torturing poor Jim. Yeah, I'm twisted. Anyway leave a review and let me know. I hope to have another chapter up by this weekend.**

**L.A.**


	10. Situation on the Bridge

**A/N - Woot! So I finally finished TOS **_**and**_** I started watching the movies today. I cried in the second one, literally had to wipe mascara off my face. So yeah, I really wanted to write this before I watch the third one. Oh, and if the ending seems…mean it's because I had a bad day.**

**Oh, also, I don't want to offend anyone so to warn you the "f bomb" is dropped a couple times. Also, let me know if you guys want an actual sex scene (I've been told I do them pretty tastefully) or if you just want me to skip over it. Let me know and enjoy!**

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Jim stayed asleep thanks to McCoy and his sedatives; Jim's body and mind had gone through too much for their own good. Over the few days that he was asleep Spock and McCoy kept watch over him, talking to him even though Spock found that to be illogical.

Those few days also got Spock and McCoy talking to each other, and not just about Jim. Even though they still agree with each other on everything, they began to understand each other better. Spock even taught the good Doctor how to play chess.

"The sedative I gave Jim tonight will wear off by morning if you want to come by and see him. He might be able to go to the bridge."

Spock nodded holding Jim's hand as he watched the blonde's peaceful face.

"Come on Spock, let's get out of here." he said leaving, the half-Vulcan following after him shortly.

Early that morning Jim groaned from the biobed that he was laying on. Slowly he opened his eyes, squinting till his sight focused. He sat up biting his lip, _still sore._ His gaze wandered around the room as the events reentered his mind.

He saw McCoy and Spock dying, saw himself trying to break free and save them. Jim could feel the pain running rampant through his body and saw the pain written on his friends' faces. He remembered wanting to give up, just cease living because they were gone.

Jim remembered his joy at hearing McCoy's voice, he was elated when Spock's voice came through the darkness that was consuming him. The colors he always saw when he closed his eyes and slept were brought back to life. But no matter how hard he tried he was still stuck in his own mind, and he silently cursed McCoy knowing that it was his doing. Even through the sedation he could feel his friends next to him, holding his hands. He could hear the mumbling that came from their talking. When he felt and heard them he warmed up, begging the drugs to leave his system.

Now that he was awake he was slightly disappointed because no one was in the sickbay with him. He threw the blanket off of him and shivered from the cold. Jim got up looking for his shirt and just sighed pulling the blanket around his shoulder when he heard the doors slide open.

"Dammit Jim, been awake for about five minutes and you're already out of bed."

Smirking, Jim turned around, "Nice to see your smiling face Bones."

Almost instantly McCoy's face softened, "Sit your ass down so I can run the check up. I'm gonna call Spock down."

Jim nodded and sat down on the bed as McCoy called Spock from his quarters. The Doctor walked over to Jim and started running a full examination on the Captain. He looked up an eyebrow raised when Jim grabbed his hand.

"Bones…you know…well…" Jim started awkwardly, "Thanks."

McCoy smirked and nodded giving his hand a squeeze, "Anytime Jim." He ruffled his hair smirking, "Now stop distracting me so I can finish. You, me, and Spock have some things to discuss."

"Like what?"

"What happened…relationships."

Jim looked at him paling, "Oh…sure." he said falling uncharacteristically silent.

"Jim?"

The Captain looked up and saw Spock in the door way. His eyes lit up and he went to go over to him but McCoy stopped him. "Not so fast Captain." he said smirking.

He let out a bark like laugh when Jim pouted, but he watched the glow that came to Jim's face when Spock sat down next to the bed. You wouldn't have noticed it if you didn't know Jim well, but he could see he, and if he could he knew that Spock would.

"Well Jim, you're back to peak physical condition."

"Tell me something I don't know Bones." he said flashing a smirk, he was back. "Seeing as I'm cleared I think I'll go take a shower and get ready for duty." Jim hopped down but Spock grabbed his forearm gently.

"Jim we need to talk."

"Can't we do it later?"

"You're not getting out of it Jim." McCoy said smirking.

Jim frowned and looked at the two men in front of him. "Fine, can I at least have a drink? I think I deserve that."

"Captain, I do not think that it - "

"One Jim." McCoy said cutting Spock off. He led Spock and Jim into his office and poured himself and Jim a drink. He sat behind his desk focusing his eyes on Jim.

Jim felt as if he was cornered. McCoy was in front of him and Spock to his right; no chance of escape.

"Why are you scared of water?" Spock asked, getting right to the point.

Before he spoke Jim took a sip of his drink, keeping his eyes focused on the liquid. "My step dad. He was smarter than he looked. Instead of hitting me he…held me under water."

McCoy watched Jim with worried eyes while Spock let out a low growl, fury fighting to come to the surface.

"Oh come on its not that bad. I mean he got what was coming to him in the end." he said shrugging. McCoy looked worried but changed his expression to curious.

"You mean I never told you how he died?"

"We knew he was dead Jim, and I am glad to hear it. If we were to ever meet him I do not think he would survive both myself and the Doctor." Spock said his hand locking with Jim's.

"How did he die Jim?" McCoy asked.

"The dick fell of a boat." Jim knew it was wrong but he couldn't help but smile. "Got a taste of what he did to me. I actually smiled all throughout the funeral." He stroked his fingers along Spock's slowly, smiling when he felt him shiver. "Anything else?"

"Not on that subject." McCoy said a light smirk coming to his face.

Jim groaned and poured the rest of his drink into his mouth.

"Leonard and I - "

Jim spit out the alcohol in his mouth, McCoy scowling as he dried himself. The Captain looked at Spock, shock on his face.

"Y-you called him Leonard." His blue eyes were wide, his jaw would have hit the floor if that was possible.

Spock's eyebrow went up, "Yes."

"You never call him anything but Doctor."

"Seeing the man we both want almost die changes things." McCoy said a scowl still on his face.

Jim's mouth shut and he looked back and forth between them and he felt more cornered than ever. Right now he would rather be in that cage than be forced to chose between Spock and McCoy. "I…well…"

Spock almost gave a smirk, Jim was cute when he got flustered.

"I decided that you and Spock should be together." McCoy said looking at Jim.

Spock's hand tightened on Jim's when the words finally made sense in his head. He saw and felt shock, hurt, and thanks pass over the Captain.

"Bones…"

"Save it Jim. You and Spock…well you and the goblin belong together." He smiled at the pair. "I'm too old for you anyway."

Jim bit his lip walking over to McCoy, "You know Bones…you always find a way to make me feel like shit."

He smirked and pecked his lips a shocked look on Spock's face. "It's my job Jim. Now you two have about…two hours before you have to be on the bridge. Get out of here."

"Yes Doctor."

"Thank Bones." Jim said giving him a brilliant smile.

McCoy watched the two walk out and he poured himself another glass. He leaned back and let out a sigh, hoping he didn't just make the biggest mistake of his life by letting Jim slip through his fingers.

Jim and Spock made their way to the Captain's quarters, Jim still stroking Spock's fingers causing the half-Vulcan to watch him with a hint of desire in his gaze. "I am glad that you finally woke up Jim."

"And why is that Spock?" he asked as he walked into his room. When he got no answer he turned and saw Spock locking his door. "Spock?" Jim smirked when he saw the half-Vulcan's mask slip.

Spock pressed his lips to Jim's, keeping the kiss soft at first. However, when Jim caressed his fingers when control Spock had was gone. He and Jim fell onto the bed, hands grabbing at clothes ripping them from the respective bodies. Spock heard Jim moan his name and he locked their lips together again. The only thing that came to his mind was pleasing Jim. He brushed his long fingers over Jim's face and let a rare, full-blown smirk fall over his face.

Slowly he kissed his way down Jim's neck and chest, taking time to nip and suck on the tanned skin.

Jim arched his body into Spock, words not really forming correctly as he felt a pair of hot lips and a tongue making their way down his body. His hands found their way into Spock's short black hair and he gripped it, pulling it lightly as the pleasure rolled through his body.

"Fuck Spock…" he gasped when Spock's tongue connected to his erection. He heard a familiar beep and let out an audible groan.

Jim pressed the button on his desk, still panting slightly. "Kirk here."

"Captain, we have a situation up on the bridge."

"I'll be right there, Kirk out." he pressed the button again and looked at Spock sighing. "This better be one fucking big situation." his voice came out as a growl. "Come on Spock." he said throwing his uniform out and storming to the bridge.

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**A/N - So? Hehe sexually frustrated Jim. Definitely let me know about the sex scene thing so I can work on it. Also let me know if you think I should start bringing the story to a close or what. Review por favor!**

**L.A.**


	11. Game On

**A/N - Sorry this took a little longer than usual. The site was giving me issues and I'm guessing I'm not the only one since it wouldn't let me log in. Warning, there is a sex scene here, so if that is something you don't want to read then skip this chapter (I don't recommend it since it's nothing too graphic). Enjoy the chapter!**

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"You called me up here for this? Seriously? You called me here, two hours before my shift, after I have been in the sickbay for days, for this?" Jim's voice was low and dangerous. The night crew watched as their Captain bore down on the unsuspecting lieutenant.

"S-sir it appeared to be an anomaly on the scanners and I couldn't get a hold of Commander Spock."

Jim's eyebrow went high enough to rival his half-Vulcan first officer. _You couldn't find him because we were about to screw each other stupid_ he growled in his mind. Instead of speaking these thoughts he let out a deep breath, "It's space junk, remnants of a twentieth century space probe that did its job."

"I'm sorry sir." he squeaked out.

"Captain, perhaps you are being too hard on Lieutenant Adams." Spock said. Only Jim could see the trace of amusement in his brown eyes.

With a slight smirk on his face Jim sat down in the command chair and kept his gaze on Spock. "Perhaps, but I was enjoying some time in my quarters for the first time in a long time. Adams you can go."

The young man looked at Kirk, determined to make this right and gain the respect of his Captain. "Captain, if you wish I can finish out the shift."

Jim rubbed his chin thinking. There only thing he really wanted to do right now was go back to his room and completely ravage Spock. Sadly, he had responsibilities that came before himself and his first officer. "Adams call it a night." he said simply. He watched as the man left and turned his gaze to Spock.

"If you wish you can go back to your quarters and rest."

Spock shook his head, standing by the Captain's side. "I will start my shift early as well Captain."

Jim nodded and gave him a seductive smirk, "To your station then." For the briefest moment, Jim could have sworn that he saw slight hesitation in Spock's eyes. _Oh, today is going to be fun _he thought.

Two hours later the bridge was basically empty except for Jim and Spock; Jim had let the night crew leave a few minutes before the day crew arrived so he could set his plan into motion. Jim was left high and dry so why not taunt Spock a bit.

Silently, he got out of the chair and walked over to the science station. "Everything going well Spock?" He trailed his fingers over Spock's delicate hands slowly, smiling at the shiver that went through the half-Vulcan's body.

"Yes sir." was the response that he got, even if the voice was softer than normal.

Jim leaned against the console his eyes gazing into Spock's, the seductive smile gracing his lips again. "Sure about that?"

Swallowing, Spock nodded. It seemed as if Jim was the only one that could get this kind of reaction from Spock. Even during his relationship with Uhura he had never felt such…desire. The smile that was on Jim's face was so tantalizing. And the way his body was positioned against the equipment…Spock closed his eyes forcing the thoughts from his head and regained control.

He opened his eyes only to see a triumphant grin on Jim's face, _So this is the game that Jim wishes to play._ Spock stood up straight and raised his eyebrow as Sulu and Chekov walked in taking their stations. "Captain, if you would excuse me for a few moments I would like to obtain some nourishment."

When Jim nodded Spock walked by him and let his finger tips just graze the thin line of skin that was exposed near the waistband of the Captain's pants. His lips turned up slightly when he felt Jim's body stiffen with need. He walked to the lift and looked back at a lust-driven Jim. "Captain?"

"Yes Spock?" he asked standing up straight and clearing his throat.

"Game on."

Jim laughed as Spock left and Sulu and Chekov looked at him, "You wouldn't get it." He watched as they shrugged and he took his seat. The rest of the crew walked in and made their reports. Jim nodded and signed off on them waiting for Spock to walk in.

When he finally did he just nodded to him and smiled. Jim knew how to play this game and he would win. Whether it was a good or bad thing, the day was uneventful. Good, because Jim was tired, horny, and frankly he was still a little sore. Bad, because Jim got bored easily and he couldn't just tease Spock all day; he did have things he was supposed to be doing after a while.

Knowing the weakness Spock held for fingers, when he knew his first officer was looking, he ran his fingers slowly over the stylus that he was holding. Looking to the side he saw Spock watching his finger. He turned and faced him, "Did you have something to report Spock?"

"No Captain." he replied and turned away.

Spock was observant and he was able to use this to his advantage. When the other officers were busy with tasks he walked over and leaned down his lips just brushing Jim's ear. "Captain, are you feeling well? You have been distracted all morning."

Jim bit his lip and closed his eyes. "I'm fine Mr. Spock."

"Positive Captain?" his warm lips closing on Jim's ear lobe.

The Captain let out a shaky breath and nodded, "Yes Spock."

They heard the _swish_ of the door and Spock pulled back, Jim turning to see who had come on the bridge.

McCoy looked from Spock to Jim and smirked. "Heard you didn't get much rest this morning Jim."

"News travels fast doesn't it Bones." he said narrowing his eyes slightly, but playfully.

Spock raised his eyebrow and looked at the Doctor, "The Captain was called from his quarters before his shift began because I was unavailable. The night crew discovered an anomaly and did not know how to respond."

"I see." McCoy smirked and saw the familiar look of unquenched lust in Jim's eyes. He let out a laugh, Come on Jim, let's grab some lunch. I need to make sure you eat after that trouble you got into."

Jim frowned and looked at Spock who merely nodded in agreement. "I agree with Doctor McCoy. You do need to eat, especially since you have not eaten a proper meal in days."

Jim flinched as McCoy rounded on him, "You didn't eat breakfast this morning? Hell Jim, I spend hours patching you together, and if you think about, weeks of my life keeping you in one piece and you can't eat breakfast after being tortured?!"

"Thanks Spock." he muttered folding his arms and pouting.

"Let's go." McCoy said pulling Jim up and pulling him towards the lift. Jim looked back at Spock who had his eyebrow raised. "Bad mood Jim?"

"No, just…frustrated."

McCoy laughed and leaned against the wall of the lift. "I figured you and the computer got interrupted this morning. Adams was freaking out in the mess hall this morning after you dismissed him."

"Damn space probe." Jim muttered his arms still folded. "Kinda worked out though. Been teasing Spock all day."

The Doctor laughed again, "Looked like the other way around to me." He led Jim to the mess hall and smirked when he saw Jim's face as he was presented with a salad. "Look you can eat what you want for dinner. Right now, Doctor's orders. You need to eat something good for you."

Jim scrunched his face up and mimicked him. "Ouch." he muttered when McCoy hit his arm, "That's the bad one you know."

"I know what is what and where I can hit. I'm a Doctor, not an idiot." McCoy smirked and leaned back making sure Jim ate what he brought for him. After they got past the first few minutes, the pair fell into their normal routine; poke fun at each other and tell stupid jokes that only they would understand.

The lift ride back to the bridge was spent smiling and talking and McCoy even walked Jim to his chair. Jim did not fail to notice the nod that McCoy gave Spock and the one that he received back.

"Don't tell me you two are babysitting me. I'm old enough to take care of myself." he whined.

McCoy barked out a laugh, "Seems like it. Spock and I pick up the pieces after every mission."

"The Doctor is correct Captain."

Jim narrowed his eyes when the rest of the bridge seemed to nod in agreement. "I liked it better when you two argued every god-damn minute. Now you make it seem like I can't even run my ship."

"Jim - "

"Captain - " The responses came instantly. Jim shook his head.

"Forget it guys. Get back to work, and that is an order."

McCoy and Spock traded glances. The Doctor left and Spock walked over to Jim as soon as the older man was in the life. "Captain, the Doctor and I meant of you, not that you made mistakes in the field."

The Captain looked up and met Spock's gaze. His voice was calm when he spoke, and colder than Spock ever remembered it being. "I believe you have duties to attend to Commander."

Spock opened his mouth before shutting it and walking to his station. He sat down and didn't see the smirk that was on Jim's face. _Oh yes, two can play this game Spock._

Jim and Spock didn't speak for the rest of the shift unless Spock had something to report or Jim had a inquiry to make. Once Adams stepped on the bridge to take over Jim apologized and left, Spock stepping into the lift with him.

"Captain, I was wondering if, perhaps, you would like to dine together this evening?"

"Is this to make sure I eat Spock or because you desire my company?"

Spock, for once, found himself at a loss for words. "Your company of course." he finally said.

Jim nodded and the two made their way to the mess hall and retrieved their meals. It was not long after they sat down that McCoy joined them. He watched the too-polite exchange and smirked knowingly at Jim who smirked back.

McCoy, even though he was the last to sit down was the first to leave, something about making sure his damn nurses were replenishing the hypos correctly. Jim looked at Spock, "I need to see you in my quarters, we have something to discuss." Again, his voice was professional in every meaning of the word.

Silently, Spock nodded and followed Jim to his room. Once there Jim turned and faced him. "I am capable of running this ship as I have proven in the past. I put it and the crew before myself no matter what the situation. I would _die_ if it meant the ship and its crew were safe. I do not want that questioned by even you. You of all people should know that."

If Spock was shocked he did not show it. He simply nodded, "Yes Captain."

"Good." Jim said walking towards him. Spock raised his eyebrow as he was put against the door and Jim locked it. "Now, I believe we have some unfinished business to attend to."

Spock smirked as much as his Vulcan side would allow and kissed Jim slowly and sensually, but it turned lust filled and needy once Jim started caressing his fingers. Surprisingly, to both of them, the kiss lasted longer than they expected. In the forefront of their minds they wanted and needed each other, in the back of them they wanted this moment to be perfect.

Jim panted softly and they two removed their clothing, Spock pushing Jim onto the bed. For once, Jim wasn't in control and he liked it. He moaned and squirmed as warm hands and lips traveled his body, the lips finally reaching his upper thigh as they intended to finish the task that they had started this morning.

The Captain arched up at the warmth and once again his fingers tangled in Spock's hair. He couldn't control his hips as the moved forward, forcing himself deeper into Spock's mouth, but Spock could control it. Jim whined as his hips were held down by hands that were stronger than his own, but as he felt a warm tongue graze him he lost himself in the pleasure.

His body gave into Spock, and soon, far too soon in his eyes, his body fell limp to the bed and Spock's lips were moving up his torso. "Tired Jim?"

He looked down and saw amusement in Spock's eyes, but also a hint of need. As he looked the man over he saw that Spock was far from finished. _Finally, _he thought, _someone that can keep up with me._

"Not by a long shot Spock." Jim ran his fingers over Spock's as their lips crashed together, all sense of perfection out the window as desire over took their senses. Jim's legs closed around Spock's waist not long after their lips connected. Their bodies rocked together and Spock shifted Jim into a more convenient position.

Jim gasped, biting his lip lightly as his nails dug into the skin of Spock's back. He felt Spock tense and sensed the worried gaze. Jim opened his eyes, "It's fine." he said before Spock could ask anything. "Just not used to it babe."

Any doubt Spock had vanished at his words and the reassuring look in Jim's eyes. "I'm just not used to being on the end of the deal."

Spock opened his mouth to comment but was silenced by a tongue forcing its way into his mouth. His hips rocked against Jim, and the nails dug deeper, but not in pain. Spock's own hands left marks on Jim's body and his lips and teeth left gentle marks on his neck. Soft pants and whispers were exchanged, nothing completely coherent, but the two understood each other.

Colors exploded before Spock's eyes when release finally came, and he heard the content and satisfied moan that left Jim's lips. "Pleased Jim?"

Jim looked up at Spock, a silly grin on his face, "You have no idea…and you?"

Slowly, Spock laid next to Jim and covered their bodies in a thin sheet. His arms slid around his waist and he pulled their bodies together, both too tired to even think about cleaning up. "Most definitely." He pressed his lips to Jim's temple. "We must rest, or Leonard will be upset with you in the morning."

"Really…Bones upset, sounds exciting." He laughed as Spock growled and pulled him closer and held him possessively. "Not like that Spock."

Spock nodded, but didn't release his hold on Jim, who just snuggled into the intense heat that came from his first officer.

"I'm yours."

"Yes, you are." Spock said simply.

Jim laughed, but it was interrupted by a yawn, "G'night Spock."

"Good night Jim." He raised is eyebrow when he saw Jim was sleeping right after the words left his mouth. Spock kissed is head again and put his face in his neck before following suit.

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**A/N - Well there is it. Let me know what you think of the scene and the chapter in general. Also, for those who like Kirk/McCoy, look for my new story, _Vulnerability_, and tell me what you think! Thanks.**

**L.A.**


	12. Virgins, Hypos, and Apendages

**A/N - So this is more of a filler chapter for some amusement and to lead up to the next little incident. I had a basic idea of what I wanted to do for this chapter and I found writing it to be fun, also I couldn't really hurt anyone after seeing a concert tonight. Enjoy!**

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Spock woke up two-point-four hours before their shift was scheduled to begin, but he could not bear the thought of leaving Jim's side. He shifted ever so slightly so that he could watch the Captain sleep; his observant eyes taking in every detail of Jim Kirk.

His blonde hair, that was normally styled in organized chaos was sticking up and out at odd angles, some pieces falling to his forehead. His face was peaceful, his lips just slightly parted as he took deep breaths and his eyes fluttered under their lids as he dreamed. His neck held traces of gentle bites and small bruises from the suction provided by Spock's mouth. The same type of marks covered Jim's chest and torso and Spock let his fingers trace the lines that defined the firm muscles.

Spock decided, as his gaze came to the sheet, that it was a good thing the rest of Jim was covered. Spock had never felt as good as he had the night before with Jim, and he never wanted that feeling to go away again. He brought his gaze back up when he felt Jim shift and he let himself smile. Unwillingly, Spock got up and used Jim's shower to clean himself. By the time he was done he heard the sheets ruffling on the bed.

"Spock?" Jim called, his voice groggy.

He leaned around the wall, "Yes Jim?"

"Sore." he muttered and put his face in the pillow.

Concerned, Spock came out in his uniform regulation pants and sat on the edge of the bed. "Did I injure you?"

Jim laughed gently and rolled over so he was on his side. He looked up at Spock and shook his head smiling, "Not at all, like I said last night, I'm normally not on the receiving end. I think I finally know how it feels for a virgin though. Leaves you sore."

"Perhaps next time I should slow my movements so that you are not in pain."

The Captain raised his eyebrow, "Hell no. You get as rough as you wish Spock. I think you letting loose would be hot."

Spock looked puzzled, "But if it causes you discomfort why would you want us to continue in such a manner."

"Easy," Jim said with a smirk on his face. "Instant gratification."

This time it was Spock's eyebrow that flew above his hairline. "If you say so Jim. I suggest you remove yourself from the bed and take a shower. Leonard will, no doubt, come by to make sure that you eat a proper breakfast." Spock pulled his shirt on. "I am going to go change and attempt to meditate before our shift begins."

Jim nodded and sat up, "See you on the bridge Spock."

Spock nodded an kissed him before leaving. Jim started to get up and bit his lip, "Fuck how many girls did I put through this?" he said rubbing his sore ass. He made his way to the shower and stood under the hot water, letting it soothe the muscles in his back and relax all other tensions away. He lost track of time until he heard a gruff voice calling for him. Jim turned the water off, got out, wrapped a towel around his waist before sticking his head out and around the corner. "Just a sec Bones."

McCoy nodded from the main part of the room and looked amused as he looked around. The sheets were pulled off the bed, the blanket against the opposite wall and in a heap on the floor. Even from where he was he could smell the sweat that had soaked into the sheets. Today was going to be priceless.

His attention was pulled away from the mess by the sound of Jim coming out of the bathroom. McCoy couldn't help but bring the subject up, "Have fun last night?"

"Bones, you have never had sex until you've done it with a Vulcan." he said smirking.

McCoy scrunched up his face in mock disgust. "I really don't want the details. Let's get you some food, I'm sure you ah… worked up an appetite."

He smirked, "Oh I did." Jim walked out of his quarters with McCoy and to the mess hall. He frowned briefly when Spock wasn't there but then he remembered that Spock was going to meditate before coming to the bridge.

Jim and McCoy talked about some upcoming missions while the got their food, McCoy making Jim change half of what he wanted, "Don't want to get fat and not get it up do ya?"

He just stuck his tongue out at the Doctor and walked to the table with him. Jim frowned and stared at the chair after setting his food down.

"What?" McCoy asked looking up at him. Suddenly it dawned on him and he busted out laughing. "Oh god you're kidding me. James Kirk can't sit down because his ass is sore."

Wanting to prove the Doctor wrong Jim sat down slowly and stuck his tongue out at him. "Don't know what you're talking about Bones."

He laughed as Jim shifted in his seat trying to get comfortable, oh yes, today was definitely going to be fun. McCoy was thankful that he didn't have any appointments or physicals to run because watching Jim squirm all day would be too funny to miss.

The two friends made their way to the bridge and McCoy watched, trying not to laugh, as Jim eyes the Command Chair evilly. Spock looked over and raised his eyebrow, "Is something wrong Captain?"

"Not at all Spock." Jim covered his lie by walking around asking for the reports from the night shift. He finally sat down and leaned to one side to take some of the pressure off. Jim looked down and read through the reports, using them to keep his mind busy. It must have worked because he didn't notice McCoy leave.

"Sir, we are receiving orders from Star Fleet." Uhura said looking at him.

Jim nodded, "On screen then."

Admiral Indy appeared on the screen, his message playing in front of the crew. "You are ordered to report to the planet Pulpo II and retrieve Ambassador Tentáculo. From there you will escort him to the planet Calamar. Contact the Ambassador and let him know when you will be arriving. Indy out."

Jim frowned, another simple mission. He sighed and turned to Chekov, "How long will it take us to reach Pulpo at Warp Two?"

"Two days and seven hours sir."

"Lay in course and ahead Warp Factor Two…god dammit Bones what was that for?" he yelled turning around to see a smiling Doctor and an empty hypo.

McCoy couldn't help but laugh as he saw the scandalized look on Jim's face. "It's to help you relax Jim." McCoy threw a look at Spock who seemed mildly amused.

Jim saw the look as well and pouted, "I bet you just think this is hysterical."

"I assure you Captain, I do not find the situation hysterical. That would imply that I feel some sort of emotion concerning the matter."

Still pouting Jim scrunched his nose up making a little mocking sound. This just caused Spock to raise his eyebrow and the rest of the bridge crew, including McCoy to laugh. Jim wouldn't admit it, but whatever McCoy gave him was allowing him to sit back in his chair.

It wasn't until Spock turned to report something that anyone noticed something had gone wrong. "Captain, your lips." he said, his eyes slightly wider than normal.

"I doh 'at you…ones…"

McCoy got in front of Jim and stifled a laugh, "I can fix that. Let's get you to sickbay.

"Ones what ib you o to meh?" he growled.

"You're lips are a little swollen." he said shrugging dragging him to the lift. "You're probably allergic to what I gave you. Go figure."

The next two days were boring, according to Jim. He spent his mornings with McCoy, his shift on the bridge, and his evenings with Spock. Nothing exciting happened so Jim was actually stoked when it came time to beam up the Ambassador. He had skimmed over the brief notice that Spock had given him and just had to get a look at this guy for himself. Just to make sure that he kept himself in check, Spock was on his right and McCoy on his left.

At his command Scotty energized the transporter and in front of them appeared a creature that had purplish skin, inky black eyes, two legs and what appeared to be eight arm like appendages. Jim raised is eyebrow and noticed that the Ambassador was wearing a skirt and had on a rather low cut blouse.

As the Ambassador stepped off the pad Jim took a step forward, "Ambassador Tentáculo welcome to the Enterprise. I am Captain James Kirk." he bowed his head slightly to show respect before stepping to the side.

"This is my First Officer Mr. Spock." Spock bowed his head as Jim did. "And Dr. McCoy, our Chief Medical Officer." McCoy also bowed his head.

Tentáculo bowed her head to each of them her black eyes staying focused on McCoy and a smile graced her face. She took another step forward and raised two of the arms that were on her left side. She ran the tips of them over McCoy's cheek and smiled again as McCoy offered her a shaky smile.

Jim smirked from behind her. "I am sure Dr. McCoy would love to show you to your room and make sure that everything is to your liking, if you don't object of course."

She shook her head and looked at Jim, "I don't object to that whatsoever. After you Doctor."

McCoy nodded and lead her out not having the chance to glare at Jim. As soon as the door was shut and Jim knew they were out of ear shot he fell against the wall laughing, Scotty doing the same.

"I fail to see the humor in this situation." Spock said calmly.

Jim smirked and looked at his clueless lover, "The Ambassador has taken a liking to Bones…similar to mine to yours." Jim laughed harder when he saw the half-Vulcan give the Vulcan equivalent of a smirk.

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**A/N - Ok, so the Ambassador isn't the most original and creative thing, but I think it's funny that Bones is getting hit on by an alien octopus. As usual, let me know what you think!**

**L.A.**


	13. So Many Hands

**A/N - Here's the next chapter. I had fun writing this and found some of my lines to be…amusing to say the least. Some are subtle but if you catch them they provide good entertainment. Mind you I am writing this at almost six in the morning, so that could be the reason. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!**

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McCoy walked down the halls of the Enterprise with the Ambassador at his side. He put on the Southern Gentleman act and gave her sweet smiles and paid attention to her when she spoke. It took all he had to not turn his nose up at the slightly fish like smell that came from the appendages.

He opened the door to her rooms and allowed her to step inside before following after her, making sure the door stayed open while he was with her. "Is everything ok in the room? I can always have something else brought in for you ma'am."

She turned and looked at him out of her round black eyes and shook her head, "That will not be necessary." Her voice was high and watery, beautiful in every sense.

He gave her a smile and bowed in head, "In that case I'll let you freshen up and someone will be by to escort you to dinner."

"Will you be at the dinner Doctor?"

He flashed her another smile, "Yes ma'am. I'll see you there." McCoy bowed his head and backed out of the room closing the door. He checked the time and walked to his officer calling up to the bridge.

"Kirk here."

McCoy tried hard to keep the growl out of his voice, "Would you mind coming to the sickbay _Captain_?"

Jim laughed, "Spock and I will be there shortly."

"Why are you bringing Spock?"

"Bones, I've known you for years. I know that voice." Even through the speaker McCoy could hear the smirk that was surely plastered on his face.

The communication was closed and McCoy stood up his hands clasped tightly behind his back. He was going to find a way to get Jim back for this. He knew he probably had about two minutes so he searched around for something, anything, to get Jim Kirk back for putting him through this. McCoy smirked and grabbed something out of one of the store cabinets.

He paced as he waited for Spock and Jim to walk through the door. As soon as the two stepped into his office his eyes rounded on Jim, "Did you think it was funny sending me off with her?" His eyes got wider when Jim laughed and Spock just raised his eyebrow.

"You knew didn't you…you knew she was going to get all touchy feely with those tentacle arm things. Dammit Jim its not funny. She's an Ambassador, what if she decides she wants to stay here with…me."

"Bones this was purely for diplomatic reasons. Ambassador Tentáculo obviously enjoyed being in your presence, so I figured, logically of course, that she would be happiest with you showing her to her room and the rest of the ship."

Spock nodded, "It was the most logical choice Captain."

McCoy looked at Spock and swore he saw a smirk on his face. "You're kidding me. You're in on this too, you over-grown-mutant computer." The rise in his voice was not just anger but unbelief.

His dark eyes stayed on the half-Vulcan and he smirked when he saw Spock glance at Jim, who was still laughing at the Doctor's expense. He walked towards Jim and smirked evilly when he started backing up.

"Bones, calm down man." he said holding his hands up to defend himself.

"Christ Jim I'm not gonna hurt you."

Jim looked at him and Spock just watched was a sort of amused look on his face. Jim nodded gently and lowered his hands only to grasp at his neck and let a very non-masculine yell.

"What the hell was that for?!"

McCoy just laughed and walked past him, "You're seafood allergy. I'll see you at dinner. Spock, Jim."

"McCoy," Jim called, "Escort the Ambassador to dinner." he smirked and walked out with Spock, laughing as McCoy folding his arms and huffed.

No less than an hour later Spock and Jim walked to one of the briefing rooms that had been rearranged so the officers and the Ambassador could dine together. The two walked in and Jim straightened out his dress uniform, "I really hate this thing."

Spock raised his eyebrow and let his gaze fall over Jim, "I find that it is quite pleasing to see you in it Jim."

This time it was Jim's eyebrow that arched up, "Really Spock? And why would that be?"

"Well, the tailoring of the jacket fits to the contours of your body. I have always found that the gold color compliments you skin and eyes very well. Also, seeing you in a such a formal capacity is so rare that the chance to observe is quite exhilarating." Spock's eyes took in the appearance of the Captain before looking at his face again. The smile that Spock had a hard time resisting was making it's way onto his face.

"Spock are you trying to tell me I look hot?" He leaned against the wall smiling at his first officer.

"Hot Jim?" he asked confused. "You do not appear to be over heating."

Jim laughed and saw a tinge of green flood Spock's cheeks. "Hot in this sense means…appealing or attractive."

"I see." Spock said nodding, his eyes contemplative. "While the use of the word hot, in this sense, does not make sense, that is indeed how I would describe you. Hot."

The Captain smiled and walked over to Spock, wrapping his arms around the taller man's neck. "I think you look good to Spock." he said kissing him slowly.

Spock returned the kiss briefly before pulling back, "Jim this is neither the time or place to be taking place in such an activity."

Jim rolled his eyes pulling Spock so they were out of sight from anyone stepping in through the door. "There's always some risk in life Spock. I know not everyone knows about us yet and that's fine, but that doesn't mean we can't engage in some fun outside our rooms."

"I see. There is what I believe to be an adrenaline rush at the thought of it."

The Captain smirked, "See, that's more like it." He pulled Spock's head down gently and kissed him again, this time not holding anything back. Jim sucked at Spock's lower lip and moaned gently when Spock gripped his waist pulling him closer.

Thrilled at the fact that Spock was relaxing and loosening up Jim pulled him closer and as Spock's hands played with the bottom of his dress uniform felt a familiar rush of blood. Jim knew he should pull away but something in him needed Spock, craved him. He gripped the nape of Spock's neck and forced their lips closer together, eliciting a moan from the ever-so-stoic half-Vulcan.

It was only the need of air and the fear that if they kept going that they wouldn't be able to hide a rising problem from the others a dinner. Spock looked into Jim's eyes and found himself swimming in an abyss of emotions, namely contentment and affection. Spock graced the Captain with a rare smile, "Perhaps, after this evening's meal, we can continue." The doors swished open to allow Scotty, McCoy, and the Ambassador to walk in. Spock was now standing a few steps away from the Captain.

Jim nodded, "I believe I would find that agreeable Mr. Spock."

Going to the situation at hand Jim walked over with Spock and greeted the rest of the officers and the Ambassador. Needless to say, Jim found it funny that Tentáculo had two of her arms intertwined with on of McCoy's. Jim knew the Doctor was putting on an act; while he didn't have anything against the Ambassador, the Doctor was attracted to her in that sense.

McCoy pulled out the Ambassador's seat and sat to her left. Jim was at the head of the table, Spock on his right and McCoy between him and the Alien. All were served a taste of the Ambassador's preferred cuisine as well as something they enjoyed. Jim was actually thankful that Bones gave him the hypo earlier because his food did come into contact with seafood.

The conversation was pleasant and Spock and the Ambassador exchanged cultural information before pointing out the odd things that humans said or did. Jim and McCoy laughed softly, making corrections and simplifying the basics of human behavior. Throughout the dinner though, Spock and McCoy had something else to deal with as well.

The make-out session before the untimely arrival of the others had left Jim a wee bit hot and bothered, so, when the chances arrived, he would find a way to touch Spock's hand or touch the leg that was so close to him. Spock would acknowledge him in small ways; he would tilt his head slightly or move his leg closer.

If he was getting this kind of reaction out of Spock, Jim definitely had to be doing something right. Maybe Spock wasn't so embarrassed about him after all.

McCoy, on the other hand, would later divulge to a certain Science Officer that one of the lower hands of Tentáculo would constantly graze his thigh and move inwards. Ever the gentleman he would discreetly slide her hand away, but it did nothing to discourage her.

The meal was ended with a toast and the Ambassador asked McCoy to walk her to her room. The Doctor nodded and after they excused themselves walked out of the room, again arm in arm. It wasn't long after that that Scotty took his leave and made his way to his own room and the ensigns had cleared the plates and dishes away.

Jim looked at Spock once they were alone and smiled, "Well Spock." The blue-eyed Captain actually tilted his head when he saw a look in Spock's eyes that he didn't recognize. "Spock?"

"Yes Jim?" he asked and smirked lightly when Jim licked his lips and shuddered at his voice. Spock prided himself on being a quick learner and was quite proud that he was picking up on the seduction techniques that Jim used on him or that Jim found enjoyable.

Spock got up and stood behind Jim and rubbed his tense shoulders. He leaned down and sucked on the top of Jim's ear, "I believe the correct word to use would be, relax." Spock rubbed down the Captain's arms and felt him relax. With the smooth fluid movements of his hands he removed the dress coat from Jim and placed kisses along the line of his neck.

It soon came to the point where Jim couldn't take it any longer. The warmth from Spock's hands relaxed him but that urge surged through him again. He got up wrapping his arms around Spock's neck pulling their bodies close together. Jim soon realized that his plan to keep Spock excited through out dinner worked, not only because he felt the evidence against his thigh, but because Spock was lifting Jim onto the table.

He made quick work of Spock's dress jacket and both of them were now in their black undershirts. Jim's legs wrapped around his waist and both moaned as their bodies came into close contact. Neither of them seemed to mind when the kiss got sloppy and their hands were searching for something to grope. It was only the beep from the communication system that brought them back to their senses.

"Captain, there has been a malfunction of some kind in the transporter room. We don't know how it happened sir but something beamed aboard and we can't locate it."

Jim frowned and looked at Spock who nodded. They pulled their jackets on and straightened up, "I'll be right there with Mr. Spock, Kirk out."

As they walked down the hall Spock knew that his next meditation session would be spent trying to figure out just what drove those primal urges and what the deeper meaning to all his emerging emotions were.

_While that was happening…_

Small talk was made as the odd-looking pair made their way through the halls, no one even giving them a second glance. Unable to deny the Ambassador, McCoy agreed to have a drink in the room with her. _Maybe this will give me the chance to explain to her that the conduct needs to end._

Whatever it was that she gave him made him feel warm and less worn down than he had in a long time. He found himself sitting on one of the chairs enjoying the conversation with her. McCoy found her to be extremely easy going and all too soon he decided that he should excuse himself and get some sleep.

Once by the door she surprised him again by saying his first name. He turned only to find her right in front of him, a look of determination in those inky black eyes. "Ambassador…" he began but felt one set of hands on his neck and a pair of lukewarm lips on his own. At first, McCoy froze at the boldness of their guest, but soon found himself giving into the temptation. The caresses that she had placed on his thigh had affected him; it was a natural affect and after all he was only human.

He pulled back slowly to say something but one hand left his neck and covered his mouth lightly. "I know that my appearance isn't one that a human finds attractive, nor is it right for something like this to continue. I can assure you that I don't intend for whatever happens to leave this room or continue one I leave. But I can sense the loneliness coming from you Leonard."

McCoy opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. Maybe this race was telepathic or just really good at reading someone. He went to respond but found lips on his again and the other six hands that had been out of use holding his hands, waist, and two were pressed lightly to his chest. _Fuck it, I can drink it off later_ he thought and returned her kiss. _After all, who am I to argue with so many hands?_

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**A/N - And there it is, I hope you guys enjoyed it…as always let me know what you thought. And maybe this will be incentive, though I haven't had trouble yet. Once I get five reviews on a chapter I start the work on the next one. Now, hopefully me saying that doesn't back fire.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**L.A.**


	14. Smells Fishy

**A/N - Hey all, sorry this took a while to get out. It's been a long weekend of partying and changing plans. This is more of a filler chapter, I'm trying to come up with more ideas for this story. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy.**

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"So you didn't see it at all?" Jim asked the technician for the third time.

"No sir."

Jim and Spock both walked over calling the bridge, "Place the ship on alert, we have an intruder on board." The Captain looked to his first officer, "I'll go make sure the Ambassador is ok, set up search parties and send two security officers to the Ambassador's room."

"Yes sir." their fingers brushed as they went their separate ways.

As fast as he could, Jim ran to the Ambassador's room the door opening easily. What he saw inside wasn't what he was expecting, in fact he fought not to laugh. McCoy and Ambassador Tentáculo were on the small cough, her many hands wrapped around his body, a pair of them fiddling with his buttons. His entrance didn't seem to phase them so he cleared his throat, well, he tried to.

He felt himself being grabbed from behind and he heard a voice that was vaguely familiar. It had the same watery feel as the Ambassador's but was deeper. Jim felt the hold on him grown and one of the beast's tentacles wrapped around his neck. "Bones…" he choked out before another appendage was used to cover his mouth. No matte how much Jim struggled he was held still thanks to the awkward anatomy of the alien behind him.

McCoy and Tentáculo looked over, both having looks of shock on their faces. Ever the gentleman, McCoy placed himself in front of the Ambassador. He didn't even get to open his mouth before the thing holding Jim was speaking to Tentáculo in a language he couldn't understand. McCoy focused on Jim, able to read his eyes easily and just nodded. He stopped the Ambassador from walking forward. "He'll hurt your Captain."

He looked at her, "We know what we're doing." He looked back at Jim and saw the all to familiar look of pain in his eyes and he was dragged away. McCoy could just see the drops of red on the floor. "Dammit where's Spock?"

Keeping Ambassador Tentáculo behind him he stuck his head out and saw Spock hurrying towards them with members of security. "Where is the Captain?"

"The intruder has him Spock. Jim's hurt." McCoy saw the fire in Spock's eyes and instantly understood why Jim had him hesitate. If there was one person that could kill this thing, could match its strength, it was Spock. Add to this that the Alien had hurt Jim, Spock's Jim, and it didn't stand a chance.

Spock's voice was a low growl when he spoke again, "Do you know where it took him?"

Urging Spock on he shook his head but pointed to the blood that was on the ground, "No but he left a trail."

The hard brown eyes took in the blood, "Jim's?" McCoy barely nodded when Spock was following the blood trail; the security team stayed with Tentáculo while McCoy ran after Spock.

They followed the trail to the briefing room, and McCoy noted grimly that the spots were closer together and bigger; either the Alien had hurt Jim again or made the previous wound worse. The pair stepped in and froze; Jim was pinned to wall behind the creature, his head lolled to the side ad his shirt stained. Once the Alien heard them he put the Captain in front of him like shield. Jim groaned weakly opening his eyes. He saw his friends and smiled, "Knew you guys would get here. Could have come a little sooner though. This thing is strong."

McCoy took in the sight of Jim and swallowed. It was bad enough that Jim was bleeding, but McCoy couldn't figure out when his breathing was that shallow. Then it hit him. "Jim what did he stab you with?"

"They can stiffen their tentacles, use them as a weapon."

"Seafood allergy." McCoy muttered and Jim nodded.

Jim groaned as the Alien gripped his body tighter. "Hand over the Ambassador." the watery voice spoke. It kept its eyes on McCoy before it went to Spock. McCoy could have sworn that it paled when it saw the look on Spock's face, and he could hardly blame it.

Spock's eyes were black with fury and he looked ready to launch at him. He didn't even have his phaser and McCoy figure Spock wanted a go at this thing with his bare hands. McCoy raised his eyebrow and Jim laughed weakly.

"I'd let me go." Jim said weakly, his throat closing.

"Why is that?" it asked, it's eyes still not leaving Spock.

"See that Vulcan, he doesn't like it when someone hurts me. I'm his." Jim croaked when the grip on his neck got tighter and that was all the encouragement Spock needed. With his reflexes he had the Alien against the wall and away from Jim in a heart beat.

McCoy pulled Jim away and hit the button on the comm unit and called for security and a medical unit. "Don't kill him Spock, get him to the brig."

"Spock." Jim whispered when McCoy's voice made no difference, "Get him to the brig now."

Security ran in removing the Alien from Spock's vice-like grip after some difficulty and the medical team got Jim on the stretcher an to sickbay. Spock seemed to have come to his senses and gripped Jim's hand.

Jim smiled, "Take care of what needs to be done. I'm not that bad."

Looking for reassurance Spock looked at McCoy who nodded, "We got him Spock. I won't let him leave till you get there."

Reluctantly Spock nodded but he looked at Jim when his name was called, "Spock, don't kill him, but kick his ass for me."

"Of course Captain." With that said Spock went to the brig and McCoy went with Jim to the sickbay. He was grateful to see that what was left from the allergy shot he had given Jim earlier had kept his throat from closing completely, but he got the damage reversed.

The stab wound was deep, but he had seen worse on Jim. "I think you like it when Spock gets like that." He said using the dermal regenerator on his back.

"I like having someone get all possessive over me. The sex that comes from it is amazing."

McCoy stabbed him with a hypo, "I'm not giving you another pain dosage just because your ass is sore. Deal with sitting in the chair tomorrow."

Jim sat up smirking and waited for Spock to come. "You think he'll do a lot of damage?"

He shook his head and walked to his office with Jim pouring them both a large glass of brandy. "Superficial maybe, but Spock will want to see him punished and I'm sure his people will as well."

The young Captain downed his drink and smiled, "I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you and Spock, Bones."

"I take the liberty to assume that you would be dead Jim."

The two looked over and saw Spock in the doorway, "Thanks." Jim muttered. "Bones am I clear to go?"

McCoy nodded, "Yeah, I need to get some sleep after tonight."

"You need a shower too." Jim added once he was at Spock's side. When McCoy raised his eyebrow Jim laughed, "Smell a little fishy Bones." He hurried out and Spock gave McCoy an amused glace before following Jim.

McCoy sighed, "I am never going to live this down."

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**A/N - And there it is. As always let me know what you think and the chapter will be up sooner. Thanks for reading!**

**L.A.**


	15. Goodbyes

**A/N - Woot, so this chapter was fun to write and I just sort of pounded it out. And I'm trying to think of what to do for the nest few chapters, and I have a feeling Pon Farr is going to pop up soon. Also, I want to apologize for not only this chapter but the previous one's I normally write each chapter in one sitting and I don't have anyone to read them over, so if the grammar and spelling mistakes getting annoying, that's why. But here's this one so I hope you enjoy.**

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McCoy sat at his desk glaring down at the report that he had to finish before he could retire for the night. He ran his fingers through his hair, gripping it lightly, and tried to make his eyes focus on the words in front of him. _Almost done…_He looked down reading the last few words he wrote.

_While the stab wound was devastating enough, go figure that Captain Kirk's damn seafood allergy would make it worse. _

"I'm sure Star Fleet would love to read that." he muttered to himself. McCoy erased to the words and leaned back in his chair closing his eyes.

*~*~*

Jim walked back to the room with Spock, still a little shaky but he did his best to hide it. He already had McCoy going all mother-hen on him, he didn't need Spock to as well. "Your's or mine?"

Spock looked at him, "Your's. I believe that you would be more comfortable."

The Captain ran his fingers over Spock's hand. "I think you just like it because my bed is bigger."

"The does have its advantages." he agreed and Jim saw the gleam in his eyes.

Together they walked into the room and Jim had the decency to look a little ashamed. "Sorry that place is a wreck. Been busy you know." he said picking up the random bits of clothing that were scattered on the floor and sending them down the laundry shoot. He gripped the desk for a brief moment before going to make the bed.

Spock walked over stopping him and forced him to turn around. "Jim, it would be illogical of you to make the bed at this time, especially when you are going to be putting it to use.

Jim smirked and raised his eyebrow. "And what use and I putting my bed to Mr. Spock?" he asked his fingers grazing Spock's thigh.

The Half-Vulcan managed to keep a straight face and just raised his eyebrow. "Sleeping of course…_Captain._" Spock could not resist the pout that came to Jim's face. "Jim, I believe you should rest after what has happened."

"I'm still running off of adrenaline Spock. I wouldn't be able to sleep if I wanted to." Jim saw the resolve in Spock's eyes breaking and he turned away and walked to the closet. "But if you would rather go," he said removing the shirt he had been given from sickbay, "You of course can." he dropped the shirt to the floor leaving his back exposed.

Spock watched Jim silently. Perhaps, as long as he kept himself in check, a limited amount of kissing would be doable. He walked over before Jim had started removing his pants and kissed the bare shoulder. "We did talk about continuing what we had started, and we did get interrupted a second time."

Jim moved into the intense warmth that radiated from his first officer. "I believe we did." he said his head going to rest again Spock's chest.

*~*~*

"Leonard?"

McCoy looked up from his work and smiled when he saw the Ambassador. "I'm sorry for not coming back. I had Jim's, that is, the Captain's injuries to deal with and this blasted report."

"It's understandable." She walked behind him, her hands working out the tense muscles in his back. "Is the Captain ok? I didn't see him in the main room."

He nodded slowly relaxing, totally forgetting about her strange appearance. "Jim's had worse trust me. I can't even count how many times I've brought him back from the dead." McCoy tilted his head to the side and felt a cool pair of lips touch his neck.

"You should go to your room Leonard. You've got to be tired after what's happened tonight and tomorrow will be a long day."

The Doctor spun around in his chair and looked up at her. "You leave tomorrow huh?" When she nodded McCoy looked down in thought. _Just do it, you only live once._ _Besides, this is one thing you could say you did before Jim…_He felt a sense of longing well up in his chest before he looked back up at her. "Would you like to come to my room with me?"

She smiled and nodded. Together they left the sickbay, McCoy had to fight down the guilt that was building in his chest and force himself to forget about the report that was laying unfinished on his desk. They made their way to his quarters and she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry for what happened with Tinta, there are some of my people that don't want this treaty signed."

With a smirk and a stroke of her cheek, all he said was, "I think I know a way you can make it up to me." This time, it was McCoy that made the first move and brought his lips down, crushing them to hers.

She returned the kiss and set her eight hands to work at relaxing and removing the clothing from McCoy's body. Tentáculo pushed him down to his bed and let her eyes go over the body in front of her. From his uniform, you never would have guessed that this is what laid beneath. She let her own clothing drop from her body before laying on top of him, pressing their lips together again. Her hands worked him up and Tentáculo smirked at the sounds coming from him. Easily, she pinned his hands down and kissed along his neck as she lowered onto him. The Ambassador heard him whisper her name and arch up.

McCoy panted, letting his body be used by the Alien, she obviously knew what to do and he figured this wasn't her first time around the block with a human. He closed his eyes giving into the slightly familiar sensations that were coursing through his body. His hands clenched into fists as he tried to keep his mind from going to Jim, but he couldn't help it.

All of a sudden, with the picture of Jim in his mind everything seemed to heighten. He heard a deep moan come from his throat and he forced his eyes open to look at the Ambassador. McCoy gave her a pleasured filled smile, and even though it wasn't meant for her she thought it was.

It wasn't long after that that he finished and laid against his bed panting heavily, his eyes drooping tiredly. He looked at her as she laid next to him and caught her breath. When she got up and got dressed and propped himself up on his elbows, "Where are you going?"

"To my room, I have to gather my things." she kissed him gingerly and walked to the door, "Good night Leonard."

Once she was gone and laid back on his bed his mind reeling. He had being so hard to forget about his feelings for Jim. He made his choice. Before he could stop it, McCoy saw Jim's face and that damned brilliant smile of his. He grabbed his pillow and pulled it down onto his face screaming into it.

*~*~*

Spock pressed Jim against the wall, kissing his neck and shoulder as the smaller man squirmed underneath him. He had been strict so far, not letting Jim hold him or wrap his legs around him. Spock held Jim's arms in place and kissed him roughly, Jim melting against him.

Jim whimpered, returning the kiss wanting more, but loving the face that Spock was dominating. Finally he got his legs around his waist and pushed against him and heard the moan come from Spock.

He felt their bodies move together and after a while he pulled back, "Dammit Spock…I'm…wait what're you doing?"

Spock smirked, actually smirked, and set Jim down. "I'm going to bed Jim."

"But…what about…Spock…" he whined.

The half-Vulcan straightened himself up. "Good night Jim." he kissed the Captain's forehead and walked out.

Jim stared at the shut door, "Tease." he muttered going to his bathroom and turning on the cold water.

The next morning was spent with playful glares and glances of longing between the four people that shared in the events of the previous night. But, it was in the transporter room that everything came crashing down.

Spock remained on the bridge to communicate with the planet while McCoy and Kirk were waiting in the transporter room for Ambassador Tentáculo arrive.

McCoy hadn't been able to repel Jim from his mind and was know watching him as he uncharacteristically leaned against the wall. "Hurt your back last night?"

Jim looked over raising his eyebrow, "Well after being stabbed, forced against a wall, then forced against another wall by a teasing Vulcan, yeah." a smirk was one his face though.

McCoy sighed and walked over, "Lean over and let me see." He glared at Jim, "Now before I tell Spock you guys can't do anything for a month." That seemed to do the trick and Jim leaned over allowing McCoy to lift the shirts he wore up a bit. One of his hands held his waist while the other tenderly touched the bruise that had formed. "Well, it's just tense and bruised. I can give you a hypo for it."

Jim moved into the fingers on his back and nodded, "Thanks Bones…"

The Ambassador walked in and the two moved apart and straightened up. Jim smiled at her while McCoy looked abashed and just nodded politely. She walked over thanking Jim for what he had done for her and for the hospitality that she had been shown on the ship. She turned and looked at McCoy taking one of his hands, "Thank you for last night." her voice was gentle and McCoy shot a look at Jim before looking back at her.

"My pleasure." The longing look that had been in his eyes when he looked at Jim did not go unnoticed by her.

"You were thinking of him…last night." she said her eyes narrowing slightly. When he didn't answer she brought two of her delicate hands up and brought them across his face with surprising forced.

Jim had watched the entire thing and found his mouth hanging open. "Thinking of…" he whispered but shook his head. "Ambassador…"

"I'm sorry Captain."

"Don't worry about it Jim, I deserved it." McCoy said gently.

Jim nodded and walked Ambassador Tentáculo to the pad. She glared at McCoy before looking at Jim. "I guess it's no surprise he lusts after you. I would have myself but I could see you were taken."

He looked taken aback and she smirked. "Good-bye."

"Energize." The team in the transporter room left and Jim walked over to McCoy. "So…guess you finally got laid last night." at the glared Jim couldn't help but smirk. "Was I was good as everyone says I am?"

McCoy smirked lightly and pushed him into the wall as he walked past him, "You were horrible."

Jim groaned holding his back. "Wait…what?"

"Come get the hypo for your back before you make it worse." he called back and made his way to sickbay.

Again, Jim frowned running after him, "Bones what do you mean I was horrible?!"

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**A/N - So what do you think? Let me know and if you guys have ideas about a mission you want to see I'll do my best to write it out. Thanks for reading.**

**L.A.**


	16. Speed

**A/N - Sorry this took so long to get up. I had an outline for this chapter and the next one, but I wanted to make sure I got it right. Updates won't be a frequent now because I'll be working and going to school again, which takes up the majority of my time. But I promise to keep working on this, so if they take a while don't give up on me.**

**The chapter is kinda cute and fluffy with some angsty bits thrown in. The Pon Farr talk is loosely based off the TOS episode Amok Time, which is one of my favorite ones. Dark stuff is hinted at near the end of the chapter, just a warning. **

**Enjoy!**

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For the last couple of days Jim had been worried about Spock. The half-Vulcan had been quieter and definitely more distant. When the two were alone Spock was the same way. He touched Jim less and his voice had a formality to it that hadn't been there since Spock had become first officer. Jim was thinking about these events and trying to pin point what had caused them as they laid in his room.

"Jim?"

"Hmm?" he asked tiredly. Jim was curled against Spock's side, his arm draped over his stomach and his head on his chest. Both had just helped deal with an emergency in engineering and were physically exhausted.

Spock looked at the ceiling, one hand at his side while the other rested on one of Jim's. "There is something that I must discuss with you." Uncharacteristically, Spock's voice was shaky and unsure.

"Spock?" Jim sat up looking at him, his blue eyes filling with concern. When Spock just continued to stare at the ceiling Jim really started flipping out. "Spock…I'm asking you, me, Jim, what's wrong?"

He looked at Jim, silent for a moment. "No one is supposed to know about it. Vulcans do not even talk to each other about it."

"Spock, its me…you can trust me." he said softly. He gripped one of Spock's hands and noticed that it was trembling; Spock never shook, unless Jim and his mouth had something to do with it.

"It concerns…biology Jim."

"Biology?"

Spock nodded and sat up, still gripping Jim's hand. "Biological needs."

Jim smirked and shifted their positions so that he straddled his lap, "Well that's nothing we haven't done before Spock."

His hands gripped Jim's hips tighter than normal, keeping their bodies from touching further. "This time would be different." Spock's eyes were darker, harder. Jim had seen Spock's eyes like that with anger, desire, or curiosity, but this time didn't compare to any of those.

"Why?"

"I had hoped that I would not have to go through this, if not for my sake then the sake of the person I bond with. With the destruction of Vulcan and myself being half human, I found it was logical that I could be spared this."

Jim watched him in silence, his gaze serious, concerned, and completely focused on Spock. "Babe," he said gently, hoping the term of endearment would bring some sense of comfort to him, "What are you talking about?"

Gently, Spock lifted Jim from his lap and got off the bed. He clasped his hands behind his back and paced back in forth in the room. Jim got nervous just watching him, but kept still and silent, determined not to let his impatience come through. He needed to help him, Jim was coming to the realization that his feelings for Spock were beginning to run deeper and deeper by the day.

Spock had his back to him as he spoke, "It is called Pon Farr, the Vulcan Mating Ritual. It strips us of our logic because the drives become so strong. All go through it, the need to take a mate and to satisfy the calling."

Now Jim looked shocked. The gravity of the situation was sinking in and all he could manage to do was stare at Spock with an open mouth.

"This is why, even though it is not typically permitted, that I wanted to speak to you. While you are of course the one that I want to be bonded to, I did not know what you would say." Spock met his gaze, not letting Jim talk yet. "You have talked about never marrying, but that is what this bond is. If this is not something that you want - "

"Shut up Spock." Jim said running shaky fingers through his blonde hair. "Just give me a minute to take it all in alright?" He closed his eyes and rested his head in his hands, trying to sift through the bombshell that Spock had just delivered.

It took him a few minutes but he finally looked up and saw Spock's stoic face waiting for an answer. "Let's do it."

"Jim I…wait. You want to do this?"

Jim nodded standing up and smiling at him. "Am I an illogical human for wanting to be with you…I…I love you."

Spock ran his fingers along Jim's slowly, "I could hurt you. I won't be able to control myself once the blood fever takes over. I will hurt you." Jim saw a concern in Spock's eyes that he had never seen before. "And what do we when you get hurt?"

Jim stroked his fingers and planted a kiss on his lips. "I've been hurt before, and I can take a lot. Besides, you'll handle it, you wont hurt me. You'd never be able to push me away." He smirked looking up at him, "Sorry Spock, but you're stuck with me now."

"I find that agreeable." he said his eyebrow raised. "But I am still worried about the harm that I may inflict."

The Captain looked thoughtful, "Well, why don't we try talking to Bones?"

"Wait…What?!" McCoy almost yelled the next morning when the couple came to his office and explained the situation.

Jim groaned rubbing his forehead, "Bones you heard us. I just…Spock needs to know that if something happens you'll be there to help me. I totally trust Spock, he just thinks that the risks will become reality."

Spock was sitting ramrod straight, his hand folded in his lap. "I know that the Captain trusts me, but this is something that I cannot control. Doctor…Leonard, please say that you will be discreet about everything if you do need to tend to Jim."

McCoy looked at them and sighed, all the thoughts running through his head. "Fine, not like I never treated his injuries and didn't report them at the academy."

The half-Vulcan sent the Doctor a silent look of thanks while Jim stood up clapping McCoy on the shoulder. "Bones, you have no idea this means to me…to Spock."

The Doctor gave them a smile, albeit a sad one. So this was it. He nodded to Spock and moved into Jim's hand. "Hell, I'd do anything for you two reckless bastards."

Jim smirked an Spock raised his eyebrow. "I'll ah…let you know the night we think this is going to happen…probably the night Spock comes back from that cargo drop to New Vulcan while we stay here and patrol."

"Sounds like a plan Jim, now if you two don't mind, I actually have work to do. You see, I'm a doctor, not a Captain that sits on his ass in a chair all day."

Spock managed to hide most of the amusement as the two friends argued playfully. "Jim, I believe we should take our leave. Leonard and I do have work that we need to accomplish."

"What about me?"

"Well Captain, I am sure that you have reports that require you to sit down and sign them."

"Y-you just made a joke." Jim said as the first officer walked out. "You two ganging up on me is so not cool." he growled walking out.

Later that afternoon, with the shuttle craft loaded with what needed to be delivered and a couple extra crew members Spock took off for New Vulcan, after a stolen kiss from Jim and a promise from McCoy that he would keep Jim safe while he was gone. Jim spent all his free time with McCoy that day, the two getting caught up and finally giving Jim the chance to tease McCoy about the Alien Ambassador that he shacked up with.

After their shifts ended and they had something to eat they indulged themselves in some brandy. They discussed upcoming missions, the good days at the academy, and eventually they ended up talking about what was going to happen when Spock got back. It was only the alcohol in his system that got Jim to admit that he was afraid.

"I don't mean to be. But he's strong." Subconsciously he rubbed his neck, remembering the feel of Spock's hands choking him. "I do love him but he can hurt me. I know he needs to do this but Bones…" Jim looked up and saw his friend watching him, concern in his brown eyes. "You'll be there in case…right?"

"I'll come by first thing in the morning." he said nodding.

"No telling Spock about this right?"

McCoy nodded relaxing on the bed staring at the ceiling. They were both lying on the Captain's bed, but the sexual tension and desire was gone. McCoy knew that he had given Jim up, and frankly, he was glad he had. He had never seen Jim so happy and, dare he say, mature. He knew he was supposed to be at Jim's side, always, but as a friend.

He looked over when he heard a soft snore and smirked when he saw Kirk was curled up and sound asleep. McCoy got up and walked out, letting Jim sleep. He collapsed on his own bed and fell into oblivion.

Jim, however, did not end up in a peaceful oblivion. At first, his dream started out perfect. Spock was with him, pinning him down, taking control like Jim loved. The young Captain was at his first officer's mercy and he basked in it.

"_Spock…" Jim moaned, his eyes closed as he writhed under the warm body. When he opened his eyes he was greeted by cold green eyes instead of the warm brown he was used to seeing._

"_No." he whispered. That face, he hadn't seen that face in years. That face was buried, it had drowned years ago because the owner fell off of a boat. "Get off of me!"_

_Frank looked at him and just laughed. "Why Jimmy? What's wrong?" The evil smirk on his face got wider as Jim tried to struggle. _

"_Bastard…get off…don't touch me!" Jim groaned when a fist collided with his face and tasted the blood from a split lip. "W-what're you doing…NO!"_

Unfortunately McCoy was woken up only three hours later by a worried looking ensign. "Doctor McCoy, there is yelling coming from the Captain's quarters and he has locked the doors. Security cannot get in."

McCoy cursed and cleared. "I'll be right there." He pulled his black t-shirt back on and hurried to Jim's room, using the medical over ride to get in. McCoy ordered everyone away from the room and locked the door again once he was inside. The nightmares he had seen Jim go through before he had been tortured were nothing compared to this. Jim was flat on his back, his body tangled in the sheets as he tried to get free of something.

"No! Don't touch me…stop it!" Jim screamed.

The Doctor rushed to his friend's side and shook his shoulders, "Jim…Jim wake up!" McCoy was sent to the ground as one of the flying fists hit the side of his head. He saw spots and held his temple. He growled, "Dammit Jim."

He got up grabbing his wrists and pinned them down. When Jim started kicking he got on the bed and straddled his waist and used his legs to pin Jim's. "Jim…JIM!"

With a start, Jim's blue eyes opened and he took in the concerned face of McCoy. "Hey Bones." he said flashing him a smile. "Whatcha doing up there…on top of me?"

McCoy scowled and got off of him, "What the hell were you dreaming about? Who were you dreaming about?"

"Well see it started out good…"

"Yeah, I could feel that when I was pinning you down."

Jim smirked up at him, "Well when you got it…"

"Jim." he growled not being thrown off.

"It was Frank ok. Spock turned into Frank and Frank wouldn't stop…"

McCoy stopped him, his face more shocked than worried now. "Did Frank ever - "

"No." Jim's voice was sharp when it came out. He sat up his eyes on McCoy, "It never got that far. I refused to let it happen. I wasn't that helpless. I never let him do that to me. He tried, but he never got to."

"Alright Jim." he said sitting next to the bed. "Let's go."

"Where are we going?" he asked sitting up, reaching for his golden shirt.

McCoy stopped him, "I know just what will make you feel better."

Ten minutes later they were the only ones sitting in a recreation room, a deck of cards set up for a game of speed. Next to Jim was a steamy cup of spiked hot chocolate. With a thankful look on his face Jim looked at McCoy, "I knew there was a reason I kept you around Bones."

McCoy smirked, "Get ready to lose to Jim."

The two played the game, slamming down cards and trying to get rid of their own. They were best friends for a reason; they knew how to make each other feel better, no matter what the situation was. Neither would admit it, but they wouldn't give these moments up for anything in the world.

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**A/N - There it is. Let me know what you think and thanks for reading.**

**L.A.**


	17. Spock Gone Wild

**A/N - So this was going to just be one chapter but I'm splitting it into two because I am evil like that…plus my friend said it was a good place to stop and I have to get up in a little over four hours for the first day of the school year. I know what is going to happen in the next chapter and after that we'll play it by ear.**

**Spock gets a little nasty in this one. I really played with the idea of Spock losing control during Pon Farr so he does get a little carried away with Kirk but I don't I was horrible about it. The results of the event are more descriptive I think. Anyway, there's the warning for that chapter and you guys know the drill. Once I get five reviews I start working on the next chapter. Enjoy!**

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"Spock to sickbay."

"McCoy here…glad to have you back Spock."

"Doctor…" Spock trailed off and even McCoy could sense the shakiness and fear in his voice. "I know that Jim is waiting for me by the doors to the hanger deck, but I cannot see him there."

"Christ, Spock, Jim's just excited to see you - "

"I know that!" McCoy jumped at the outburst from the half-Vulcan, "But I cannot see him in public. The display would be embarrassing and the crew would gain knowledge of our relationship. Please send him to his quarters to wait for me there."

Frowning, McCoy looked at the speaker. "Look Spock, I'm sure Jim could handle you."

"You do not understand Leonard. I cannot control myself. I have already had to repair some of the shuttle crafts controls numerous times because of my actions. Jim must be in his quarters and you will need to be there in the morning."

"That bad Spock?"

The other line was silent for a few moments, "Doctor, this is the only time that I will ever regret being Vulcan." Spock cut off the transmission and McCoy paged Jim.

The young man was bouncing on the balls of his feet, an anxious smile on his face. When he heard McCoy call him and smiled wider. "Kirk here…what's going on Bones?"

"Jim you need to report to your quarters now."

Jim frowned at the speaker in front of him. "But Bones Spock is landing…"

"I know Jim." McCoy said on the other side. "But he's…overwhelmed. Seeing you in public would be detrimental to both of you."

"Why…ohhhhh." he said softly. "Er, right Bones. So I'll see you bright and early then right?"

McCoy smiled, worriedly for his friends, both of them. He could picture Spock telling him that it was illogical for him to worry about anyone but Jim at this time. "I'll be there at 0600, if you need me before that give me a call. I highly doubt I'll be sleeping tonight."

Jim pressed the button to end their conversation and hurried to his room. He could tell McCoy was worried because the Southern accent he had was stronger. He left the door to his room unlocked and set up the soundproofing. Silently and thoughtfully he paced his room, waiting for the door to open.

As soon as the _swish_ of the door was heard he turned around and his eyes got wide. Spock was standing before him, his skin flushed a light shade of green. His normally warm eyes were pitch black and filled with a need that scared and pleased Jim.

"Spock?" he asked, his voice coming out just above a whisper, but he knew that Spock could hear it plain as day.

The half-Vulcan was to him in less than three steps and Jim found Spock's blazing hot lips crushing his, the strong hands gripping his arms and almost smashing the bones to pieces. When Jim tried to pull away from the kiss Spock refused, just gripping him tighter.

Jim knew he couldn't match the strength of Spock, even when he was like this, but he kept trying to pull back. Finally, when Spock did pull back Jim could taste a small amount of blood on his lips and his eyes looked up into those dark eyes and swallowed.

Spock reached towards Jim's neck and gripped his shirt, easily tearing it into pieces and dropping them to the floor. He pushed Jim to the bed, removing his own clothing quickly and getting on him. Jim's pants tore like paper under his strength and soon Spock's lips, teeth, and tongue were assaulting Jim's body and he was helpless. In his mind he knew that Spock had to feed this hunger, that Spock would die if he didn't so he complain. He closed his eyes and gripped the short black hair on Spock's head and dealt with it.

"Roll over." Spock's voice was hoarse and demanding when he spoke and Jim looked at him confused.

"Huh?"

"I said, roll over!" Spock gripped his waist and put him on his stomach, without any warning Jim felt Spock inside him and he gripped the sheets.

"Spock not so hard…" he whispered but Spock didn't let up. Jim felt blinded by the pain and he whimpered while he was under Spock's control. Normally, Spock showing dominance was a turn on, this, however, was far from it. Jim's words fell of deaf ears and soon he gave up pleading with Spock and let his body be pushed into the bed and torn at by the sex-crazed half-Vulcan that was on top of him.

In his mind Jim was screaming, needing the pain to stop. He wanted his Spock back, not this biologically driven monster on top of him. Jim had done everything in his power to never feel helpless, but now he did. He didn't know how long Spock lasted, nor did he really care, he just need to get out of there.

So when Spock was finally asleep, he pulled himself out of the bed and managed to tug on some sweats and an old shirt. He limped to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror frowning. He splashed his face with water and moved the dried blood on his lips before walking out and down to McCoy's room. He buzzed and heard a groggy voice calling for him to come in.

"Jim?"

He forced a smile and leaned against the wall, "Hey Bones."

McCoy noted the roughness of his voice and could see his form that was normally standing straight with pride, was leaning against the wall for support. He got up slowly, and noticed the shallow breathing coming from his friend. "Dammit Jim." he muttered. "Lights."

The lights came on and McCoy's eyes got wide. "What the hell did that over grown hobgoblin to do you?"

"Fucked the life out of me." Jim said flashing a trade mark smirk, his lip bleeding lightly.

"Smells like it too…damn." he muttered. The Doctor walked over and put his arm around Jim's waist leading him to sickbay. He heard Jim start to protest but shook his head. "I already have a private room set up. I can't do anything about the injuries in my room. No one will know what happened."

Jim nodded and allowed McCoy to lead him to the room he had already set up and laid on his side. When McCoy gave him a worried look Jim tried to play it off, "What…he's big."

McCoy blushed but rolled his eyes and got the shirt off of Jim and his face fell into its normal worried scowl. Jim's lip was bleeding, a bruise that looked like teeth near his bottom lip. His neck had bite marks, more than one breaking the surface and finally beginning to scab over. Jim's chest, arms, and back were covered in scratches, and as McCoy held his fingers to them he knew they came from Spock's perfectly manicured nails.

"Mary, Mother of Pearl…"

"What?" Jim asked softly. "Ouch, what the hell was that for?" he asked as McCoy poked the left side of his left neck gently.

"One hell of a bite. I think you might need a rabies shot." His voice was somber when he spoke again. "Spock was marking you as his."

Jim smiled softly and allowed McCoy to treat the injuries, cleaning and using the dermal regenerator to try and return his skin to the flawless tan it had been. Unfortunately, some of the damage was too bad. The bite on his neck was scared, the teeth marks raised and a fresh pink. Some of the other bites and scratches left the same marks, but nothing as vivid as Spock's mark.

The Doctor watched as his friend and Captain appraised the scars and frowned. Jim just gave him and smile and shrugged, "Girls think scars are sexy. Maybe Spock does too."

"This isn't a laughing matter Jim! He could have seriously hurt you…he did seriously hurt you." his voice faded after he got Jim out of the sweats. His backside and inner thighs were bruised, but the thing that worried McCoy the most was the deep crimson stain dried onto Jim's lower body.

Purposefully, McCoy struck up a conversation about something he knew Jim would find entertaining, like Chekov trying to hit on Yeoman Rand. While Jim laughed and tried to keep himself distracted he could feel the Doctor patching his body together.

"Leonard…is Jim with…" Spock froze in the door way, his once composed face now one of open shock as he took in the sight. "Jim?" he asked walking over.

Jim smiled warmly and to McCoy's surprise there was no animosity or fear in those perfect blue eyes, just warmth and love. "I'm fine Spock. I just wanted to get checked out before our shift starts and we go on that mission to Tara III."

Spock's graceful fingers traced the scars and McCoy watched and saw different emotions in those brown eyes; love, remorse, regret, fear, sadness. "Jim, I am sorry."

McCoy stepped out when he was done, Jim able to sit up with little to no pain and his lower half covered by a sheet. "Spock…babe." he said giving him a smile and running his fingers along Spock's gently, trying to soothe him. "I'm fine. I knew the risks going into it, that's why we talked to Bones remember?"

"I could have killed you." Spock removed his hand from Jim's and touched the bite on his neck.

"But you didn't.

His brown eyes met blue and he took a step back. "I will not allow myself to harm you again Captain."

"Since when do you call me Captain when we're alone."

"I will call you Captain because it is the proper thing to call you on a professional level."

Jim's eyes narrowed slightly, "I don't really think we're just on a professional level Spock. We're bonded remember?"

"Be that as it may, we are in a professional relationship as of this moment." Spock's eyes were determined, but Jim could sense regret coming from the half-Vulcan in front of him.

"Spock…" his voice was weak and his eyes were widening as he realized what was happening. "W-what're you doing?"

The first officer stood by the door, his hands clasped behind his back. He let his eyes fall to Jim's face before he turned away from him and opened the door. "I believe the human term for it is, 'dumping you'." Without a glance back Spock walked out of the room, the door shutting coldly behind him.

"Spock? SPOCK!" Jim screamed, not out of hurt but out of anger. A worried looking McCoy came into the room.

"Jim what the hell's wrong?"

The normally bright and welcoming eyes of the Captain were cold and distant. "He left me. I gave myself to him, let him tear me the fuck apart and he left me!"

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**A/N - Let me know what you guys think. I really had fun writing this chapter (I still have decided if that's a good thing or not seeing as it got a little rough in the middle) and I really can't wait to do the next one. Thanks for reading!**

**L.A.**


	18. McCoy: Sex Therapist & Couples Counselor

**A/N - Holy crap…I have never gotten so many reviews so quickly. That was amazing. I'll have Spock got bat shit crazy more often. Anyway, I wrote the next chapter and wanted to get it up. I feel like I owe it to you guys for showing me so much support. Sadly, I actually start school so posting every night and probably every other day won't happen. Most of my days are at least 12 hours so it's not going to be pleasant. Enjoy!**

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Jim was more than just pissed, he was hurt. McCoy could tell by the looks in his friend's eyes and the way he presented himself; he didn't even want to think what it was like on the bridge, but he had heard from the crew. Jim and Spock were overly formal, never standing less than a foot apart. While coldness had replaced the brightness of Jim's eyes, loss was seen in Spock's and he couldn't stop it from showing.

When their shifts were over Jim would go to McCoy's office and they would drink, Jim curing the half-Vulcan to high hell and he would wind up in tears. Most often he would end the night asleep on McCoy's shoulder, not wanting to feel alone again. No matter what Spock had done to hurt Jim mentally, the Doctor could tell that Jim was still head over heels in love with the first officer.

Jim had been in his office for a little over an hour now, still just staring at the drink in front of him. His eyes were empty but he looked over when the door opened and his eyes turned hard. "Can we help you Mr. Spock?" His voice was like ice and McCoy could have sworn he saw Spock recoil from the harshness in the normally warm voice.

"Captain, I wish to speak to Dr. McCoy." he said and gripped his hands behind his back.

"He's off duty Mr. Spock." Jim growled.

"Jim, its fine - " McCoy started but Spock shook his head.

"The Captain is right Leonard." his voice was smooth but there was pain in it. "I will come tomorrow and speak with you then." He turned sharply on his heel and left them sitting there. Jim growled again and downed the shot in front of him.

"Jim…"

"I made a mistake Bones, I should never have been with him."

McCoy watched him, "You love him."

"He left me…just like everyone else does. Everyone but you."

An intense pair of blue eyes was staring at his face and McCoy felt himself speechless. He couldn't tear his eyes off of Jim and didn't want to. This was his chance; Spock had had his and ruined it, now Jim was his for the taking. He felt bad for thinking of Jim as if he were a piece of meat, but he couldn't pass this up.

He leaned in and pressed his lips to Jim's taking in the taste and scent of his long time friend and young Captain. McCoy moaned as Jim took control and pulled back so that he could get on McCoy's lap. The tension that they thought had dissipated was back and their need to feel each other.

Nothing was gentle as they rid each other of their clothes and McCoy put Jim on the tiny desk in his office. He kissed Jim hungrily as their bodies came together, their tongues and teeth clashing together, their need to be close dominating their minds. McCoy loved the feeling of Jim writhing under him, saying he wanted more. But when release came, McCoy was the one who found himself wanting more.

Jim looked at him panting, "Bones?"

He muttered two words as he panted. "Take me."

The blonde smirked and switched positions and buried himself into McCoy, moaning against his neck. "I haven't been on this side of the action before."

"I haven't felt any action yet."

Jim kissed his neck, moving in him, filling him, making him shake and yearn for more. "Bones…"

McCoy panted his eyes on Jim as he latched onto Jim's right shoulder biting down and sucking at the smooth skin. It wasn't long before McCoy could feel Jim picking up speed and hear his breath coming in gasps.

"Fuck Bones." he whispered laying on top of him, his face hidden in his neck.

The Doctor smirked tracing the bruise he had created on Jim's right shoulder. "I'm not done with you yet."

Jim looked up only to have his lips claimed by the man under him, and with the sureness of a surgeon, McCoy explored Jim's mouth with his tongue, memorizing the taste and lay out of it. When they pulled back for air Jim was giving him a goofy grin.

"So Bones, what does this make us?"

The Doctor smirked getting up and pulling his pants on. "We're buddies Jim, here for each other for whatever the other needs. No strings attached."

Jim smiled his eyes showing thanks and McCoy found himself happy in this relationship. Best friends, crew mates, and fuck buddies. It worked for them.

The next morning McCoy did get a page from Spock, but it was about nothing personal. "Doctor, the Captain, you, and myself are to beam to the planet's surface and attempt to come to an agreement pertaining to mining."

"Of course Spock." he said gently.

Spock's voice was all business now, "I suggest you bring some medical supplies Doctor. The inhabitants of the planet are considered to be hostile and knowing the trouble Jim…the Captain can get into - "

"I'll have stuff ready."

"Very well. Transporter room in ten minutes please Doctor."

Ten minutes late McCoy walked in and saw a tense looking Spock standing on the pad a few feet away from a hardened looking Jim. "Let's go Bones." the younger man said impatiently. Once the Doctor was on the pad he heard Jim give the order to energize.

The area the were beamed to was flat and rocky, the dirt a deep brown that, Jim noticed, matched Spock's eyes to a tee. In front of them were ten members of the alien race that they were sent to negotiate with. The trio was led into a tent; surprisingly things were going well. The race seemed to appreciate the frigid air that was coming from Jim, the stiffness of Spock, and the politeness of McCoy.

It was when they were getting ready to leave that the trouble started. The three were walking, McCoy in the middle to separate them, when he tripped falling into Spock. It was almost as if everything happened in slow motion. Spock was pushed off balance and knocked into the leader of the alien race and they reacted by pushing the three back and raised their weapons.

"What is…SPOCK!" McCoy watched as Jim at first tried to understand what was happening before pushing Spock out of the way and the small weapons that resembled spears were embedded in his body. Spock caught Jim his eyes widening as he held Jim; his gaze turned to McCoy and it was as if they were speaking out loud, but the expressions said it all. _Run._

Spock grabbed Jim, running with him, McCoy running as hard as he could to keep up. Thankfully, while strong, the natives weren't quick. Spock kept McCoy running and just as the Doctor was going to yell for him to stop when they were in a cave.

"Spock…"

"Not now Doctor, the Captain needs your attention while I attempt to contact the enterprise."

McCoy frowned and looked at Jim who was passed out, at least six of the small weapons gleaming and stained with blood. Carefully, McCoy removed the ones he knew wouldn't cause Jim to bleed out and did what he could, wrapping Jim up so he didn't get cold.

"The Enterprise is out of range."

The Doctor frowned and Jim groaned Spock's name. The half-Vulcan's eyebrow raised as he looked at Jim curiously. He moved closer Jim whose head was resting on McCoy's lap, but his hands at his sides.

"This is your fault." McCoy said his fingers running through Jim's hair. "You did this to him. He was happy with you and you dumped him."

"I hurt him." he said simply.

"You did more damage to him by leaving than by fucking him." the Doctor growled. "I gave him up so he could be happy. I didn't fight for him because I thought he would be happier with you."

The rage that he had been holding in was finally coming out as he watched Spock stare at Jim. "He didn't care if he got hurt because he was doing it for you. He knew you could die and what do you think that would have done to him?"

Spock continued to watch Jim's face. "This could happen again."

"He wouldn't have cared Spock. He loves you. You threw him to the side like he was useless."

Dark brown eyes looked up at the Doctor saw desperation in them. "I know how he feels Leonard. We bonded, I can sense how he feels, what is going through his mind. I know he both hates me and loves me, as illogical as that it. I also know what you two did. To prove his point Spock pushed Jim's shirt aside to reveal the dark bruised the Doctor had left.

"It is taking a lot for me to control myself Leonard. I want Jim back, I want to keep him away from you. Logic is the only thing keeping all of this from happening. Neither of you love each other more than a friend, which I find agreeable."

_Is Spock rambling?_ McCoy thought to himself, listening but keeping a straight face.

"Well Spock, what do we do. Both Jim and I find out situation pleasant, and once he forgives you, and he will what happens then?"

"I believe, Leonard, that you and I can reach a compromise if that were to happen."

He opened his mouth but felt Jim's head shift and heard a weak groaned come from him. "Please tell me I didn't just hear you two making arrangements to share me."

"Jim!" two voice said and once, lips crushing his while a pair on arms wrapped around his waist.

He whimpered and both men pulled back, each having a blush on their cheeks. "No wonder I'm called a man whore. I'm getting assaulted by my First Officer and CMO at the same time."

"Jim?"

"Bones?" he asked sitting up biting his lip. "One of you get a hold of the ship. I feel like crap."

Spock swallowed, "Jim?"

"I know Spock." he said softly as they were beamed onto the familiar grey of the Enterprise.

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**A/N - Hehe, I have more up my sleeve. Let me know if you liked it and thanks for reading!**

**L.A.**


	19. JK

**A/N - Wow, I am so so so sorry that this took so long to get up. I finished it a couple days ago, but I waited until I finished the chapter for **_**Vulnerability**_** so I could post them at the same time. Anyway, I hope that I haven't lost you guys and I swear that I will do my best to give regular updates. On that note, enjoy!**

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As soon as they were on board a medical team was securing Jim to a stretcher and rushing him to sickbay. From there, McCoy worked on Jim, removing the miniature spears and correctly closing the wounds so that the Captain didn't bleed out.

Spock was waiting in the Doctor's office, his face a mask of collectiveness but his mind racing as he worried about the reckless human he found himself falling for. It wasn't logical, but Spock could no longer deny the feelings that he held for Jim. Jim had been right, what had happened was not under Spock's control and Jim knew the risks. Jim had put himself in danger to save him. Spock faced a picture on the office wall and clasped his hands behind his back; logically, Jim must feel the same way if he was willing to allow Spock to damage him in such away.

The half-Vulcan was brought out of his wonderings when the door opened and McCoy walked through. He looked surprised to see Spock standing there but gave a tired smile nonetheless. "What brings you here Spock?"

"Doctor…Leonard. How is the Captain?" His voice was smooth and as unrevealing as ever.

"He's in recovery and should be awake in a couple hours. So give him about thirty minutes and Jim Kirk will be up on the bridge to annoy you." McCoy watched as Spock merely nodded and seemed pensive. "What's on your mind Spock?"

Spock looked at him, clearly not comfortable with having the conversation that he wanted to have; that fact was proven when he finally responded. "That statement is illogical Leonard. It is impossible for something to be resting on my brain."

Despite the light banter they were carrying on McCoy scowled, "You know what I mean you over grown jack rabbit."

He raised his eyebrow, "That I do Doctor." Spock took the liberty and sat in front of McCoy's desk. "When it comes to Jim, I believe I feel an emotion. No matter how I try to fight it I cannot get rid of it."

"You love him."

"Yes Doctor. I know that you have feelings for Jim as well - "

McCoy interrupted him, "He's yours Spock. He'll come around. He's miserable too."

Spock looked at him, "I do not think he will forgive me."

"He will, soon." The Doctor assured him.

Jim wasn't quick to forgive Spock, but the whole crew saw that some of the tension that had built up over the weeks had lessened. On the bridge, the pair were talking again, still formally but definitely not as strained as it had been. During their free time they would play chess in the recreation rooms and could be seen enjoying a meal with McCoy.

McCoy, however, was getting tired of seeing Spock and Jim dance around the subject and use him as an excuse. He was watching the pair play a game of chess in the Captain's room and he could feel the sparks flying between the two dimwitted officers next to him.

"I can't do it anymore!"

Spock raised and eyebrow and Jim looked at McCoy as if he had grown another nose. "Can't take what Bones…maybe you should lay off the booze."

"I quite agree Captain." Spock said his eyes going to Jim and they softened when they saw the small smile on Jim's face.

McCoy frowned, "Look you two figure this thing out. Just make up and fuck already."

"Leonard…"Spock said the tips of his ears slightly green and Jim smirked lightly.

"Night." he muttered walking out, using his over ride to lock the door.

Spock looked at Jim and moved his piece, but kept his steady gaze on his Captain. "I believe we do need to speak about our issues Jim."

Jim moved his piece frowning lightly. "Spock," his voice was soft and his eyes downcast, "You broke up with me after all of that. I thought that by doing that for you I could prove myself. That you wouldn't doubt me or how I feel - "

"It was never about doubting you Jim. I hurt you physically and mentally." Spock moved the board out of the way so he could look Jim directly in the face. "You make me…feel things. I never thought I could love, especially someone so illogical and reckless."

The blonde's jaw dropped, "You…did you really just say that?"

"Say what Jim?"

"That you love me." he said softly, his eyes looking cloudy but never wavering in their gaze.

Spock nodded, "Yes. I believe that the emotion I feel - "

"No one has ever told me that."

The half-Vulcan stood up and walked over before kneeling in front of Jim. Silently he ran his fingers along Jim's and both felt a familiar spark go through them, Spock licking his lips at the sensation. Jim had always felt this, but it was suddenly stronger and he felt himself moving into the feeling. When Spock's lips fell onto his, he felt all of the emotions that his first officer had been keeping at bay. Unable to fight his own emotions, Jim wrapped his arms around Spock's neck pulling their bodies closer together.

The kiss stayed gentle, but the depth that it took was sensational. Both men found themselves getting lost in each other, Jim falling out of his chair and onto Spock. It ended too soon for both of them, but the need for air propelled them apart and they lay intertwined with each other, their eyes taking the other in.

"I love you Jim." Spock said, his voice like a whisper, but it was clear and certain.

Jim couldn't help but smile and he kissed the tip of Spock's nose before sucking on the pointed tip of his ear. "Mmm…love you too Spock."

Spock shuddered at the sensation and nuzzled Jim's shoulder, his hands along Jim's waist. "I feel the need to show you the more gentle side of a Vulcan, one dedicated to its mate."

Blue eyes took in the face of Spock, "Mate…"

Spock gave Jim a rare smile and pulled the shirt off his shoulder kissing the scare he had left there weeks ago. "Forever." Even though Spock knew Jim was dedicated to him, this was brand new territory and his mind allowed him some doubt. Jim did have a history after all.

The Captain smiled at him, "I really like the sound of that." Jim kissed his neck and felt Spock rolling them over on the floor and taking control of the situation. In fact, this was how Jim liked it; at work he was in charge and in the bedroom Spock was definitely a leader.

It wasn't the first time Spock marveled at Jim's body, but tonight, after the events of the past months and the revelations that had come to light moments ago, Spock was going to explore his mate's body and learn every nook and cranny.

His fingers, being one of the most sensitive spots on his body, memorized the defining lines of Jim's upper body with careful movements while his tongue dove deep in his mouth careful to learn its taste by heart. Every moan Jim made was locked into his memory and he put them into categories; erotic, sensual, needy. Spock determined that his favorite noise was the gasp that Jim let out when his tongue hit the scar on his shoulder or when Spock finally slid into him.

The half-Vulcan continued to take his time, and since he was Vulcan, he was able to control his body much better than Jim who was writing under him. Spock controlled his own movements and he controlled the waves of pleasure that erupted from their contact.

Jim let his nails dig into the flesh of Spock's back and his eyes rolled back; no one had ever treated him like this. He felt the slick movements of Spock and let the moans and gasps escape him and urging Spock on. The human lost all train of thought as he felt the care and love come through in Spock's treatment of him.

His nails dug deeper as the thrusts from Spock became faster and brought them both to a climax that made them see stars. Afterwards, tangled up in each other Jim laid under him panting but content.

_I could get used to this…_Jim thought.

_I could as well._

_Spock?_

_Yes Jim?_

_What the fuck…you're in my head. Did you nerve pinch me or something, or am I just worn out?_ Jim opened his eyes looking into a deep brown pair that made him feel safe and cared for.

"We are linked Jim. My mind and yours. We will be able to communicate when need be. I shall teach you how to shut me out of your mind when you need privacy of course."

Jim just nodded, "Next thing I know you're gonna tell me male Vulcans can get pregnant if they've picked the right mate."

"…"

"Spock?" Jim asked his voice shaky.

Spock smirked, really smirked and kissed Jim gently. "I believe the earth term is 'j/k'."

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**A/N - Ok, so I don't know why, but I got a kick out of Spock saying J/K. I laughed at my own little…whatever you want to call it. But, as always thanks for reading and let me know what you think!**

**L.A.**


	20. I Don't Want to be Alone

**A/N - So I got another chapter up! Woot. Anyway, I was in a really bad mood so I decided to write about someone getting hurt. If it seems a little unorganized this is my defense, I was really really **_**really**_** pissed off when I wrote this and most of it was venting. So I apologize. Plus I figured it was time for Jim to have another dream. I hope you guys enjoy.**

**Oh, I also had to write an essay for my Advanced Compostion class and thought I would share the topic with you. We had to write about a memory that made us come to a realization about something. So I wrote my essay about me realizing I was becoming a trekkie. I believe my closing line was, "Holy shit, I'm a trekkie." I thought it was fun to share, the essay was called, _Beam Me Back to Reailty._ Just thought I would chare that with you guys.**

Spock and Jim both enjoyed the fact that their minds were bonded. It made them feel closer, safer, and even needed and that was something neither of them had felt in a long time. But, with being bonded came certain obstacles. Jim still wasn't able to block his thoughts from Jim one cue, and while nothing detrimental had been seen by Spock yet didn't mean that it wasn't going to happen. Also, they decided to let both Star Fleet and the crew know about their relationship. For the most part, they were accepted and the ones that didn't like the idea of them together kept silent and were thankful that they didn't display affection in public.

It was easy for them to see that McCoy was still harboring feelings for Jim, and while Jim didn't encourage a relationship with him he didn't push him away. The two would still drink together and play their card games together. Even Spock didn't mind; he knew that some day in the future he would hurt Jim again and that McCoy would pick up the pieces like he had last time. He knew that while the Doctor and Jim wouldn't have an emotional connection like they did, the sexual connection they had was powerful. Spock also knew that Jim would be faithful to him, and while he knew it was logical that humans sometimes needed more than one sexual partner, he was thankful that Jim was trying. Maybe one day, he would let Jim go to McCoy, but for now he enjoyed having the Captain to himself.

Spock and Jim talked about issues like this privately as well as in their minds. The link between them was beneficial in many ways and in some cases, fun. They could have private conversations while on the bridge; Jim of course took this opportunity to try and seduce his first officer. Most of the time he didn't succeed, but once in a while Spock would send Jim a look and they would both find an excuse to leave the bridge. No one, of course, believe these. It was hard to miss the look of a sex driven Vulcan. When they were on an away mission or another situation arose on the ship they made the perfect team because they could communicate silently.

Because of their sense of closeness, the pair started sharing the Captain's cabin and were also filing the paper work to make it a permanent arrangement. It wasn't long before they got the okay from Star Fleet and Spock moved his things into the empty drawers of Jim's dresser. He was just closing the last drawer when Jim walked into the room looking tired.

"Hey Spock." he said and just fell onto the bed.

Spock looked his Captain over silently, "Are you well Jim?"

Jim rolled over and gave him _that_ smile, the one that drove Spock mad. "Just tired Spock. We've been up late most nights, plus I had so many damn reports to look at today my eyes are ready to fall out."

The half-Vulcan raised his eyebrow and appraised Jim openly. Since they had bonded Spock did little to hide the affection that he felt for Jim when they were in private. "Perhaps it is a good thing that I am going to begin my shift soon then. I forget that you are in need of more rest than I am and that your stamina is not as good as mine."

If Jim was shocked at the statement it didn't show it, "I can show you stamina." He smirked and ran his foot along the inside of Spock's leg.

Spock's eyes watched Jim's face and nodded gently, "Jim, if you will excuse me. I have to get to the bridge before my judgment is compromised."

As Spock left the room Jim laughed and stood up. _Shame you left so quickly, I was just going to get in the shower._

_It is not wise to tease a Vulcan Jim._

_I like teasing you, _Jim answered, _I like when you lose some of that control, big turn on actually._

_Get some rest Jim, you will need it come tomorrow night._

Jim laughed again and undressed before slipping into the shower. He let the warm water wash over him and ease the tense muscles of his body. Jim practiced emptying his mind but found that he liked having the presence of Spock with him all the time. He felt warmer and wanted.

He dried off and pulled on a pair of black sweats and curled into his side of the bed, his face resting near Spock's pillow so he could inhale the scent. He had a good day to look forward to tomorrow; he and McCoy were having dinner and spending the evening playing Speed and Spock had already promised him a long night. In a way, Jim wished he could have one of those nights with McCoy. He knew he loved Spock, more than anything and he would never give him up, but Jim wasn't meant to physically be with one person. That night that he had slept with McCoy made Jim realize that he needed both of these men in his life, he couldn't survive without them.

Jim smiled softly and held a pillow to his chest falling asleep…

_Jim was sitting in the Captain's chair aboard the Enterprise, barking out orders so that he could save the lives of everyone on the ship. "Dammit Scotty get us our of here in two minutes or we're all dead!" Normally, motivation like this worked on the engineer. _

_He looked around and saw that the bridge was in disrepair and felt the ship jerk forward. Jim looked out the main view screen and saw an explosion; Kahn was gone for sure and so was the Genesis Project. He watched space light up and remembered that it was Scotty that saved them._

_Now that they were safe from the blast the Enterprise slowed and Jim pressed the comm button on his panel. "Great job Scotty!"_

"_Jim, I think you should get down here."_

_The Captain looked confused, "Bones?"_

"_Now Jim."_

_Jim looked around the bridge again and his eyes got wide when he saw that the science station wasn't manned by Spock. Hadn't they just had a conversation about something like this. 'Spock no…" Jim whispered. He ran from his chair and try as he might he couldn't reach Spock through their link, nothing worked. _

_He made his way down to the engineering deck, sliding down the ladders. When he first got there he froze; Spock was inside with the main reactor, the one that had been failing and was leaking lethal amounts of radiation. He ran to go in after him but McCoy and Scotty stopped him._

"_Stop Jim! You'll flood the whole compartment!" Even in the harsh tone of McCoy's voice he could hear the sorrow and pity. Jim looked from him to Scotty._

"_It's too late Captain." the chief engineer said, his own voice saturated with sadness. _

_Jim slumped against them and they finally let him go to the clear chamber door. "Spock…" Jim hit a button on the side and repeated himself so that Spock could hear him. _

_He watched as Spock pulled himself upright and straightened out his uniform. He kept his hand pressed against the barrier that was keeping them apart as he watch Spock walk towards him only to run into the glass._

_Jim looked over the man that he had fallen in love with years ago. His normally smooth and flawless skin was burnt and cut, streaks of copper-based-green blood rolling down his face. The deep brown eyes were cloudy and glazed over; Jim had seen his eyes like that once before and that was when he had gone blind on Deneva. _

"_Jim." the deep voice was rough and even deeper as Spock forced himself to talk. "The ship…safe?"_

"_Yes…you saved us Spock." Jim placed his hand on the glass where Spock's was, and even through the door separating them he could feel the familiar shock go through him. _

"_Don't grieve…the needs of the many…"_

_Jim looked at Spock sadly, his eyes watering and his voice cracking as he spoke, "Out weigh the needs of the few."_

"_Or the one." Spock finished. He slid down to his knees and even though he was blind his eyes pierced into Jim's. Now that he was dying Spock didn't care if people heard them like this. He could feel the pain, hurt, anger, and love radiating from Jim and he wanted to soak it all in. _

"_Babe…" he whispered weakly. "I - I did not do the b-best job of showing it, but you made me happy."_

_Jim closed his eyes, "Spock you can't just die on me. We've gotten through things like this."_

_The half-Vulcan smiled weakly. "I'm not leaving you alone Jim. You have people that care for you, people that love you."_

_The captain could feel they eyes of Scotty and McCoy on them both and knew that Spock was speaking of them, and McCoy even more-so. _

"_I love you Jim." Spock said softly._

"_I love you too Spock." Jim watched as his dying lover did the Vulcan salute for the last time._

"_Live long and prosper."_

_Jim felt McCoy's arms wrap around him and somehow Spock sensed the Doctor's presence. "Leonard, take care of him."_

"_I will you hobgoblin." he whispered, but sadness was etched into his voice. Both men watched as his eyes closed._

"_Spock…Spock!" Jim shouted in his dream as he felt Spock's mind leave his own._

On the bridge, Spock was sitting in Jim's chair when he felt the pain hit him. He ignored it at first but as he felt the sense of loss combine with the pain his eyes grew wide and he could tell where, or who it was coming from.

"Jim…Henson, you have the bridge." Spock got on the turbo lift and made his way to Jim as quick as he could. He unlocked the door and found Jim sitting up in bed screaming his name. He pulled Jim to him and felt the cold sweat on his body and warmed him up as fast as he could.

"Jim wake up." he said softly. He tried reaching him through their link but all he saw was his own dead body, Jim crying his name out, and McCoy trying to comfort the Captain. He shook Jim and when he saw those bright blue eyes and the haunted look they held he placed a kiss on Jim's head, "I am here."

Jim just stared up as if he was still asleep, tears running down his face. Spock frowned and contacted McCoy asking him to come to the their room immediately.

By the time McCoy got to the room Spock had Jim laying on his side but his eyes were still blank.

"Leonard, I cannot wake him up." Spock's voice was worried.

McCoy knelt next to the bed, looking Jim over and taking readings on the tricorder. The Captain's heart rate was elevated and it showed that he was still dreaming. The Doctor pulled out a hypo and injected Jim with a stimulant to wake him up. After only a few seconds Jim blinked looking up at them.

"Spock…Bones?" he asked and laid on his back his eyes confused and then it hit him. "Oh god…Spock." he said looking at him.

"We will not let it happen Jim." He promised.

McCoy held one of Jim's hands, "We gotcha Jim."

Jim gripped his hand and rested his head on Spock's lap. "I want the dreams to stop. I don't want to watch you guys die again and again. I don't want to be left alone."

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**A/N - So until I was reformatting this I totally didn't realize that I wrote Jim Henson in this chapter. For some reason that made me laugh. Anyway, let me know what you think and as always, thanks for reading!**

**L.A.**

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	21. Hiding Away

**A/N - Ok, next chapter done, and the plan for the next one is ready to go. I'm honestly working as fast as I can and thank you guys so much for your support. It really means a lot that you guys are hanging in there even though its taking me so long to update. I hope you like the chapter**

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Spock and McCoy could instantly detect the change in Jim. After his dream he withdrew from both of them, often sneaking off and hiding out on his own while he tried to forget the dream. Seeing Spock die once had been hard enough and Jim wasn't sure that he could handle going through that again.

Jim could see the change in himself and knew that he was hurting the two men that he cared for, but he didn't want them to see him like this. To see him so vulnerable and scared that everything was going to end. The dream didn't come to him every night, but when it did he woke up screaming for Spock. Cold sweat would pour from his face and he couldn't breath.

If Spock was there he would cling to him, asking him not to leave him, not to put himself in danger just because Jim was in danger. If Spock wasn't there Jim knew that he could feel the pain he was in and would come rushing into their room with McCoy. Together the two men made Jim forget the dream, even if it was only for a couple hours.

The dream was wearing down on Jim. He would try and force himself to stay awake and would attempt massive amounts of paper work and strenuous workouts in order to do so. He pushed and pushed himself, not wanting the dream to come back. But, no matter how hard you push a body it will force itself to rest. Jim was on the observation deck, his eyes taking in the stars as the Enterprise drifted though space. It amazed him that he could see a cluster, god knows how many light years in the distance that reminded him of what he was going through.

There was a star, that from the deck, appeared to be burning a bright gold color, the ones on either side appeared to be burning a faint green and blue. Jim couldn't help but laugh at the colors that were before him, but his laughter was empty and cold. His blue eyes stared at the pin points of light in the distance. The one on the right, the faint green seemed to be fading and the blue one seemed to be drifting but was doing the same as the green.

Jim shook his head and forced himself to blink, but when he looked back at the stars the only one that remained was the gold. He found himself shaking before his body shuddered violently and he gave a strangled cry as he watched the gold star glow brightly before vanishing in an instant.

Spock was in the labs when he felt a white hot pain course through his mind and body. The shock was so great that he actually fell forward and gripped the desk in front of him. Something was wrong, but he did not know what. Somewhere in the room he could hear someone calling for McCoy's assistance.

"Spock?"

The half-Vulcan looked up and saw the concerned brown eyes of McCoy peering into his.

"Spock what's wrong?"

At first, Spock didn't know how to answer the Doctor. He did not know what happened. Sitting in the chair, he closed his eyes and massaged his temple, willing the pain away and attempting to focus on the cause.

"The Captain?" McCoy supplied and when Spock's head shot up he knew that he was right. "Is he in your quarters?"

Spock closed his eyes again, forcing his mind to focus on the shudders he was receiving from the Captain. "No…"

McCoy frowned and turned to the computer on the desk. "Computer, location of Captain James Kirk."

The Computer made its usual beeping noises, but for both Spock and McCoy it was taking far too long to find Jim. Finally, the smooth and mechanical voice replied, "Observation Deck."

Even though the half-Vulcan was walking, McCoy had to jog to keep up with him. The ride down to the observation deck seemed to take hours instead of minutes and the wait was causing the Doctor to become more concerned as the time passed. He looked up at Spock for a distraction but felt his worry intensify when he saw the pained look in Spock's eyes.

Both rushed out of the turbo lift and Spock quickly over rode the code that the Captain had placed on the door.

As if Jim could sense them, he was standing at the window but his hands were folded behind his back and his gaze was fixed out the window. Looking at him from the doorway you would never be able to tell that something was wrong with him, but Spock knew better. With determined steps he walked over and knew that McCoy was following him. He reached over and placed a hand on Jim's shoulder causing the Captain to turn and look at them with a smile on his face.

"Jim what's wrong?"

"Jim, what is troubling you?"

The man that they spoke too laughed when their voice collided and made what they send incomprehensible. "Nothing's wrong guys. I was just taking the time to relax."

McCoy looked from Jim to Spock and could feel the tension coming from them. This bond that they had made it very hard for Jim to hide anything from Spock, which was in turn, useful to McCoy. He had been able to treat Jim faster when the half-Vulcan knew what was wrong with him.

"Jim, you were in a great amount of pain." Spock said, his hard eyes boring into Jim's soft blue.

"I was actually called to the lab to see to Spock. He nearly collapsed because of what you felt. What the hell is going on Jim?"

Silently, Kirk looked back to the window and they could see the guilt in his eyes, but his face kept its happy expression. He didn't want to talk about this and if he didn't want to talk he wouldn't.

"There's nothing going on. I was just taking your advice and relaxing. Since this is my favorite place to do so, I thought I would try here before going to the gym."

McCoy stood next to Jim and got close enough to where their arms were touching. "Jim," he looked at his friend, "We can help you know. We helped you get through the first one."

Spock took his place at the right side of Jim and intertwined two of their fingers. "We will not let anything happen you Jim, or to ourselves."

Jim tightened his grip on Spock's hand and moved closer to McCoy, needing the comforting touch even if he couldn't tell them what was wrong. "Honestly," he said softly, a smirk on his face and his eyes lighting up. There's nothing wrong with me. Promise."

His two companions didn't agree but merely looked at each other even though they knew Jim could see their reflections. Maybe it was because of that that Jim pulled them closer or maybe it was because he could actually see the concern in their eyes.

"You two are on duty. You shouldn't be down here with me." Jim's voice was playful but he gave them serious looks. He needed to be alone right now. He needed to think.

Spock could sense it and nodded, even if he didn't want to leave the fragile human alone. In an attempt to comfort Jim, Spock leaned over and kissed him slowly. He felt the surge of warmth from Jim but also felt a surge of jealousy from McCoy. Spock pulled back and placed a kiss to Jim's head. He looked at McCoy and nodded before leaving the room.

Jim and McCoy looked at each and smiled gently. "I know you care Bones, but I promise you everything is fine. There is nothing to worry about."

"Say what you want to Jim. You're not fooling me or Spock. We'll be here when you finally collapse."

The younger man nodded and pulled McCoy into a hug, resting his head against his shoulder. "I love him Bones, but sometimes its so hard to be human around him."

The Doctor held Jim in a comforting embrace. "I know kid, but he loves you. He's trying." Against his shoulder, McCoy could feel Jim's lips turn into a faint smile.

"I know Bones."

McCoy smiled and pulled back, "You know where I am if you need me." When he saw the smile Jim reserved for him he ruffled his hair. "Get some rest alright?"

Once the Doctor was gone Jim looked back to where the stars were and saw them burning brightly again. "Don't take them from me."

_Jim was sitting across from McCoy in sickbay, five cards in his left hand while his right was ready to flip the card that was on top of the small pile. He flashed McCoy a flirtatious smile and the game began. Their hands sometimes collided as they fought to get rid of the cards in their hands. The pace of the game was intense and Jim smirked triumphantly when his hand was empty. But when he looked up into the brown eyes of McCoy the normal shocked looked wasn't in there. Instead it was replaced with a look of sadness._

"_Bones?"_

_The older man sighed and leaned back in his chair, "God Jim what am I going to do with you?"_

_The young Captain felt his chest tighten when he recognized that tone; it was one that he heard some many times before. The tone was apathetic, like McCoy was distancing himself from Jim._

"_Bones what's wrong?"_

_The tone turned from one that held nothing to one of disdain and ice. "We can't do this anymore."_

"_We're just playing cards." Jim said trying to lighten the mood but when McCoy sent him a glare he became quiet._

"_You know what I mean Jim." McCoy looked at him and sighed softly. "Look, it was fun while it lasted but it's over alright. I'm not going to be your fling on the side, I can't do this to myself, you, and Spock anymore."_

_Jim felt his world crashing in around him and he found it hard to breath. "B-Bones…"_

_McCoy looked at him before getting up and leaving his own office to leave Jim there. Alone, cold, and unfeeling. _

Jim shot out of his bed and looked around his room. He was alone, like he knew he would be, but he felt empty. As the dream entered his mind again he got up and pulled a shirt on making his way to sick bay not caring that he wasn't in uniform.

"Jim?" McCoy looked up as the form of the Captain barged into his office. He could see the force behind Jim's actions, his need to show his strength, his want to show that he could take care of himself. Jim had grown up on his own, he didn't like people to know that he needed them, especially when those people were McCoy or Spock. It wasn't hard to see that Jim tried to hide this, but he showed in with his need for constant physical contact. He needed to know that someone was there for him.

"Bones we need to talk." His voice was authoritative and McCoy sensed it was a serious topic. He knew for sure that it was when Jim locked the door.

"Alright. What's on your mind Captain?"

Jim faced him his hands behind his back and he kept them there to keep them from shaking. "Do you mind our relationship?"

The Doctor looked shocked and almost fell out of his chair. "What'd you mean?" He watched as Jim paced in front of his desk. The tense shoulders didn't bounce like they normally did, his eyes were scared and hard, his hands clenched even tighter.

"Do you feel like…I don't appreciate you or something? I mean…you thought we should just be fuck buddies, that we shouldn't have an actual relationship right?" he said looking at him. "Tell me the truth."

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. It's not affecting our friendship…I need sex, sometimes you need a human. Jim I like what we have and if that part ever ended its not like we're gonna stop being friends."

Jim nodded and looked at McCoy before walking over to him.

"Jim?"

"Don't you ever give up on me…don't you ever leave me." he growled.

"Jim what brought this on?"

"Promise me." Jim said softly.

"Alright, I promise."

Jim nodded before kissing him, his hands gripping his waist and not letting him pull away. McCoy moved into him, wrapping his arms around him, tasting Jim and regretting that it had been so long since he had.

When he heard the moan come from Jim's throat he pulled back panting. "Thought you were trying to stay loyal to Spock."

"He knows where I am and that I'm with you." Jim's eyes looked torn but McCoy saw that he knew what he needed and wanted. "I love you…but dammit Bones I need you."

The older man smiled and kissed Jim again, the passion and heat returning to it almost instantly. Their bodies moved together and before too long they were on the desk and disrobing each other. In his mind, Jim could feel hurt and a vague understanding from Spock's side of the bond.

_I'm sorry Spock…I need this._

The voice that answered him as a light growl, _When you come back to the quarters we will talk about what is going on_.

Spock never got an answer because Jim clung to McCoy, whispering his name. After the glorious feel of release they were curled up on the floor catching their breath. "What brought you to me?" McCoy finally asked, his fingers running through Jim's hair.

"The dreams are back Bones. I needed someone to tell me it would be ok, that they wouldn't leave me."

"Is that what the dream was?"

Jim sighed and looked up at the ceiling, his hands resting behind his head. "The one the centered around you. You left me, said you were tired of being second to Spock. You know your not right. If I lost one of you…"

McCoy could see Jim's shield falling and kissed his head. 'You're not losing us Jim. I'd never hurt you and neither would Spock."

The Captain rolled onto his side, "Would you come to my quarters so I can tell the story once?"

McCoy nodded and kissed Jim, "You taste good, you know that?"

Jim smirked kissing him before getting up, "You're not the first guy to tell me that."

McCoy groaned and got dressed, "Didn't need to know that."

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**A/N - So I know Jim seems like a bastard, but they do have…an agreement. There will be more Spock in the next chapter and he maybe…angry. Not totally sure on that one yet. Anyway, let me know what you think and thanks for reading!**

**L.A.**


	22. Marking You as Mine

**A/N - I feel like it has been forever since I've been able to post for this story. Let's just say that things in my life and kind of…pushing me to my limits. That's a good, clean way to put it. I'm still committed to this story, I just need some inspiration to strike me, so we may have a reboot TOS episode coming up soon. I just have to pick one. If there is one that you guys would like to see let me know and I'll see what I can do. Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

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Jim and McCoy walked through the empty halls of the Enterprise, their bodies close together but not touching. Earlier, when he had been with McCoy, Jim could feel anger and jealousy surging through the link that he shared with Spock; that was still there but now there was also a sense of concern. Jim had to hand it to Spock, the guy was perceptive. He took a deep breath and gave McCoy a weak smile before walking into his quarters where he knew Spock was waiting for them.

Spock was sitting at the desk, his hands folded together as he thought. He looked up when the door opened and he took in the appearance of Jim and McCoy. Jim was wearing the pants that he normally slept in and a black under shirt, his hair was messy and his lips swollen. McCoy was in his uniform, but it was mussed and wrinkled, his hair disheveled and just like Jim, his lips were swollen. To show his disapproval, he raised his eyebrow.

McCoy shifted slightly but Jim cleared his throat, taking control of the situation. "Alright, let's just all take a seat." Jim sat at the head of the bed and patted it. McCoy took a seat at the edge and once he did that, Spock got up and sat next to Jim. He wrapped his arm around his shoulders, pulling him close and glared at McCoy as if he was daring him to try something. The Doctor held his hands up in a sign of defeat and faced them.

The young Captain ignored the gestures, silently both pleased and upset that his friends were torn like this. He leaned against Spock because he found that he was cold despite the warmth of his rooms; this was the last thing that he had wanted to talk to them about. Jim had been trying his hardest not to let the strain show, but these two men knew him inside and out (both figuratively and literally).

"The dreams came back." Those four words caused Spock to stiffen at his side and McCoy nodded in understanding. "I told Bones about one of them," he looked at Spock who stared back at him, "Because it concerned only him. He was leaving me, telling me that it was over.

"But there was another, the one that's been causing the pain." Jim had to break his eyes away from Spock's and he simply stared at his lap. "It happens a few years from now. We were all there, all older. Hell, I had some grey hairs." He closed his eyes and Spock pulled Jim close when he started to shake.

"I don't know who or what we are fighting but something's wrong with the warp engines. Spock you…you left the bridge and I didn't even know it. When the engines came back on-line I thought it was Scotty that had saved us." Now Jim looked at McCoy, "When I went to congratulate him, your voice was the one that answered me, telling me I needed to get down there. That's when I saw that Spock was gone."

Jim went silent for a few moments, reliving the dream in his mind as he told them about it. It had been plaguing him for weeks now and in a way it felt good to get it all out, but he didn't like telling the man he loved that he was going to die in the future. He started again when he could feel McCoy's eyes on him and the concern radiating from Spock.

"I hurried down and saw Spock in a chamber, the radiation levels were off the charts. I went to run to you but Bones and Scotty stopped me; I would have flooded the whole deck, killed numbers of people. Scotty told me that there was no hope." Jim gripped Spock's hand and refused to let go.

"You were blind, but you made you're way over to me. Even through that barrier I could feel you, you were dying but trying to stay alive for me." Jim's eyes were watering now. "You asked Bones to take care of me, watch over me now that you weren't going to be there anymore."

He looked up and met Spock's gaze, "You saved the entire crew and who knows what else. You died for all of them."

Spock kissed his forehead, "It is logical Jim." His voice was so tender that McCoy didn't even say anything to dispute it. "The needs of the many - "

"Out weigh the needs of the few…or the one." Jim smiled sadly when he was given a questioning look from both of them. "You said that before you died."

Feeling that he had been silent for long enough, and seeing that Jim and Spock needed to be alone, McCoy cleared his throat calling the attention to himself. "Well, Jim you know we'll always be there, I'll always be there. But right now, I think you need some rest and to talk to the living computer."

Jim laughed softly and Spock raised his eyebrow. "I would prefer to be compared to a computer rather than a human."

McCoy smirked getting up, "Don't get used to the compliments, Spock." He walked over to the door, "I'll see you both tomorrow. Make sure he gets some sleep."

Once the Doctor was gone Spock looked down at Jim a puzzled look on his face. "You mentioned you saw the Doctor leaving you. I do not see why this would cause you distress. You have me."

Jim sighed gently and just curled into Spock's side, soaking up the warmth the emanated from him. "I know I have you Spock, it's nothing against you."

"I fail to see how it is not."

"You guys are the ones that came up with this. You are the one that thought you couldn't be enough for me, that I would need a human that could give me the emotional stimulation that I need." Jim ran his fingers along the back of Spock's hand as he spoke.

"In a sense you're right. I need Bones, he's a part of me and he has been since I met him on the shuttle to the academy. Yes, he's great in bed, but I could deal with out that. If it would make you happy I'd be loyal to you, and I was until tonight. But the dream made it seem like he was leaving me totally. That he and I wouldn't be friends anymore. I didn't think you would be this upset about me going to him."

Spock listened intently and forced himself to see the logic in Jim's words. He had come up with the compromise and he had told Jim that he could seek out McCoy if he felt the desire. He had told himself that he would have no ill feelings on the matter. But when he felt the joy coming from Jim while he was with McCoy, a rage began to build. Jim was his and his alone. No one had the right to touch him like that except for Spock.

"Jim," he began and hesitated, not wanting to sound haughty. "I understand your feelings, but when it comes to you, the logic that I pride myself on disappears."

"I'm glad I can strip you of logic at least sometimes."

Spock allowed himself a small smirk. "I want to be everything you need, everything you want. I am afraid that I do not know how to be that. I fear that you will not be happy if I ask you to end the sexual relationship between you and Leonard, but I know that I will not be able to handle it."

Jim sat up and crossed his legs Indian-style and faced Spock. "You are what I need and want. You may not show the emotions, especially in public but when I touch you I can feel them and that's enough for me." He ran two fingers down the side of Spock's face. "I don't need Bones in order to be satisfied and he doesn't need me. Besides, I think there's someone else that he's after now anyway."

"I have not allowed you to feel the entirety of the emotions that I feel even when you touch me Jim."

"Then it's something we have in common." Jim smirked when Spock raised his eyebrow and his curiosity was spiked. "Show me how much you feel."

Spock sat stoically, hesitating as he thought it through. "Only if you will share the same with me." When Jim nodded his assent, Spock held his hand out and when Jim grasped it emotions whirled through them both.

Instantly, Jim felt the depth of Spock's emotions. He didn't know that anyone could feel that much. There was worry he felt, when Jim was away from him, when Jim was off the ship, when he knew that Jim was in danger. Concern because he knew Jim could not sit still, would do anything to help a member of his crew if they were being threatened, he was reckless and always got hurt and he knew there would be one time that would be the end. Friendship, just how much needed him by his side, to steady him to point out that logic isn't always the answer, to balance him out. Love, god there was so much love in that touch. Everything else was dull in comparison. Spock couldn't find one flaw in Jim, everything was perfect. Spock loved him as he was.

Spock almost fell over when the waves of raw human emotion flowed through their bond. Jim was always scared that Spock would throw his life away for Jim, wouldn't come back from a mission. He was afraid that Spock would change his mind, leave him because he was too human, that he wouldn't tell him when he needed help. He felt need from Jim; the human needed his strength, his will, his support, his logic. Spock was his other half in every way. The love that came from Jim was unconditional. He loved the cool logic, the way his hair laid, how he spoke, watching his fingers fly over buttons, and how Spock made him feel wanted.

Their contact was broken when Spock pulled away, but both were gasping for breath and their eyes were focused on each other. "Jim, I will be what you need." he whispered softly. "I always will be."

Jim smiled and nodded, his head resting on Spock's chest. The pair sat there silently before Spock shifted, "Jim, I suggest you take a shower while I go and speak with Leonard."

"Trying to tell me I stink, Spock?"

"Not at all Jim, but you do smell like the Doctor." Jim laughed and got up but Spock stopped him, "When I get back, you will be mine."

The Captain shuddered at the voice and nodded. "Alright."

Spock got up and straightened his clothing before walking out of the room. With his hands clasped firmly behind his back he walked through the halls and into sickbay. The light was on in McCoy's office and after a crisp knock he walked into the office.

"Spock, just the guy I wanted to talk to."

"Then it is fortunate that I have come. I wanted to converse with you as well." The half-Vulcan sat down and folded his hands neatly in his lap. "I wish to end the compromise concerning Jim. I believed that I would be able to handle the situation when he finally went to you, but I find that I cannot."

McCoy laughed softly and nodded, "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I think you're right."

Spock raised his eyebrow then nodded, "Seems that Jim's dream is coming true after all, just not in the manner that he thought. I appreciate the fact that you have been and will be there for him, Leonard. I know that he will need you in the morning."

Now it was the Doctor's turn to raise his eyebrow, "Why is that?"

Spock got up, "Because tonight I will be claiming him as solely mine."

"You two are already bonded."

"His mind is marked, his body is not," and with that Spock walked out and back to his shared quarters.

It did not take Jim long to finish his shower, but he would admit that he was distracted. Spock's words had made him think and he wondered what was going to be happening once his lover came back from McCoy's office. He toweled himself off and wrapped the black cloth around his waist before stepping into the sleeping area.

"Jim."

The Captain jumped when he heard his name and finally saw Spock on the bed, "Damn, you scared me." Jim gave him a smile but noticed the hard look on his First Officer's face and the steely look in his eyes. "Spock, what's wrong now?"

"There is nothing wrong Jim, in fact everything is going to be as it should have been when we first bonded."

"What?" He took a step towards him but let out a shocked yelp when Spock grabbed him and pinned his chest to the wall. "Spock?"

The taller man didn't answer, but grasped Jim's hands behind his back. He didn't let Jim move, but he kissed his left shoulder blade gently. "I'm marking you as mine." he whispered hoarsely, the urge that Spock had been suppressing taking him over now.

"Mark me?" Jim asked. When Spock remained silent Jim tried moving, "Spock?" He felt a warm tongue lick the skin and he moaned. Slowly, Spock bit the area gently and Jim leaned into him. "That's good Spock…" Spock growled and unable to hold back anymore he sunk his teeth deep into Jim's skin. Jim struggled and yelled out in pain, "SPOCK!"

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**A/N - So, I have this weird thing with marking. I dunno, it's fun. Lol. Anyway, thanks for reading and let me know whatcha think!**

**L.A.**


	23. Cave In

**A/N - So how long have I been gone? Anyway, I finally got another chapter up and I am pleased to announce that this is now the longest story that I have ever written. My old record was 22 chapters. Anyway, here's the update. Enjoy!**

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When Jim woke up he noticed that he was laying on his stomach and the lights were dimmed. The fragrant smell of smoke billowing around the room meant that Spock was near and in the back of his mind Jim knew that they had something they needed to talk about. He went to push himself up and he gasped as pain caused his left arm to collapse under him. Jim panted and rolled onto his right side and pushed himself up; he could feel a stream of blood rolling down his back and then he felt a warm hand gently wipe it away.

"You are awake," Spock's deep voice was soft, but Jim could hear the concern that was laced within.

"Unfortunately, I wish I was still asleep," Pain washed over him again and anger flared in his mind and voice. "What the hell did you do to me last night, Spock?"

Spock recoiled slightly, the emotions felt so much stronger now that the bond was complete in all forms. The anger and the pain coursing through Jim was felt by the half-Vulcan but he knew that McCoy would be able to stop the pain and that once he explained himself that anger would dissipate.

"Because of the compromise that we had with Doctor McCoy, I was unable to complete the bond. If I had and you two had been intimate then it would have caused me a great deal of pain.

"When Vulcans forms a bond, its for life. Their minds are joined and they know everything about the other; nothing remains hidden. It is as if the mind is marked. The same thing happens with the body. If someone invaded your mind with the intention of claiming you then I would feel pain. If I marked your body and you were intimate with Leonard then I would feel that pain."

Jim listened, trying to wrap his mind around the new information that he was given. He knew that he couldn't really experience all that Spock was talking about because his psychic ability was extremely limited, but he still knew when Spock was emotionally stimulated.

"Spock…" Jim sighed and rubbed his temple, trying to ignore the biting pain. "You know everything about me now," His lover nodded and Jim watched him, "You still want to be bonded to me, you know everything and what it can do to me. You want that?"

Spock nodded, "I want all of you Jim, even the parts that you consider to be damaged." He placed his arm around Jim's shoulders only to feel a jab of pain. "Forgive me, I will summon Leonard to see to the wound."

Jim laid back down and closed his eyes, listening to the voices of Spock and McCoy. The bed gave next to him and he saw Spock looking at him with glowing eyes. "He is on his way."

The human nodded and rested his head on Spock's thigh. "I don't blame you, you know. This is what we wanted; to be together like this. If it's the way you do things then it's the way I do things. You could have given me a fair warning though. I would have been able to handle the pain had I been prepared."

"Jim, you handled the pain better than Vulcan's do. I now know that there are events in you past," he saw Jim tense as the pictured Frank and Tarsus IV, "That have taught you to hide it and ignore it."

"Still, I wouldn't have yelled like that." he said softly.

Their conversation was interrupted by the swish of the door signaling that McCoy had arrived. The Doctor walked over and sat on Jim's other side looking at the wound. "All the way to the bone," his voice was soft but there was no sign of surprise or anger.

Spock watched as McCoy cleaned and treated the bite, running the regenerator over the area. McCoy looked up and saw Spock's calculating look, "Don't seem so surprised. After you said you were marking his body I did some research. It was hard to find because you green-blooded jack rabbits are so private."

When he finished the scar glimmered in the faint light and Spock's perfect teeth were imprinted permanently into Jim's flash. McCoy did a final scan of both men, "You guys are cleared for duty. Just try not to do anything to strenuous, your arm is still going to be tender."

Jim nodded but got up. He moved his shoulder and arm slowly and got used to the pain that was still rooted deep in the muscle. "Lets get ready for the bridge then." The young Captain smiled at McCoy and hugged him, "Thanks Bones."

He nodded and squeezed Jim's hand before leaving.

Jim and Spock took a shower together and kept things platonic as they washed up and finished getting ready. The pair skipped breakfast and the trip to the bridge was uneventful. Jim thought about stopping the lift and having some fun with Spock but the twinge in his shoulder reminded him that he probably couldn't handle anything to rough at the moment.

They took up their stations and went through their normal routine. The ship was in route to a planet that was primarily made up of mining colonies; they were going to drop off supplies. Jim, Spock, and a few others that were interested in the process had been invited down to tour the mines.

Jim introduced the members of his crew to the head of the colony, a Mister Henry White before asking if there were any other supplies that were needed. After the arrangements had been made the group was taken into the mines, and depending on what they wanted to see, was sent in different directions with a member of the colony.

Jim, Spock, and White headed down into the deep tunnels, their guide explaining what was mined and for what purpose. Spock spoke in scientific terms, wondering what else the minerals could be used for, but Kirk was taking in the beauty of it all.

All around them familiar and exotic minerals glimmered in the lights that lined the stone walls. Gold, silver, turquoise, and purple intertwined and seemed to be flowing through the rock like blood did through veins. Sometimes, Jim had to agree with others when they said he had the attention span of a two-year-old.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed but he looked around and saw that somehow he had been separated from Spock and White.

_Spock?_

_Where are you Jim? We turned to ask you a question and found that you had vanished._

_I was taking in the sights I guess…guess you were to immersed in you conversation to notice me leave._

_I did not see a reason to keep the link open like this while you were in such close proximity to me. I failed to remember that you have the ability to stay focused. Stay where you are and I will find you._

_Yes mother. _

Over their link Jim could feel amusement coming from Spock and he leaned against the wall waiting for his half-Vulcan to find him. He heard the footsteps and start walking toward them when a blast was heard in the tunnels above him.

"Jim!"

Jim heard a crashing sound and a yell escaped his lips as rocks came tumbling down around him. "Spock!"

He tripped over some rocks and his left shoulder smashed into the pile of rocks forming around him and he let out a scream. The rock was beginning to settle and another pain-filled yell was released as a large rock fell onto his leg, pinning him in place. Jim's vision started to go fuzzy and he fought to keep conscious.

_Jim? Jim, we are going to start shifting the rock, Scott is sending down help as we speak._

_Okay._

The voice inside Spock's head was weak and he studied the rock and determined where Jim lay behind the massive wall. He started moving the rocks, conversing with Jim through their link to keep him awake.

_Jim, what is your status?_

_Shoulder hurts, leg is smashed by a rock but nothing that Bones can't fix._

Spock entered Jim's mind, looking into his injuries. From what he could tell, McCoy would be able to heal him, but there would be a great deal of time spent recovering. He returned to his own mind, solely focused on rescuing Jim.

The you Captain didn't know how much time had passed; he kept fading in and out of an over whelming blackness. He could no longer focus on Spock's voice in his head and he couldn't bring himself to answer. A small patch of light was revealed and he could have sworn that he saw a pale green hand reaching through.

"Jim?"

"Hmmm?"

Spock shifted some more rocks and managed to squeeze his torso through the gap. Carefully, he slid past them and made his way down to the limp form of Jim's body. "I am here Jim."

The rest of the team was moving rocks on the other side, but Spock told them to progress to use phasers and dismantle the rock. Jim needed to be looked at as soon as possible, his body was in shock. The force of the beam dislodged some and rocks slid down again, Spock doing his best to shield Jim.

"No." the weak voice came pushing an unbalanced Spock away. Rocks came down, hitting Jim's torso causing his to grunt in pain, but he barely moved.

Spock rushed back over and removed the rocks from his torso and looked up as McCoy and some of his medical team arrived. He stayed out of their way but by Jim's side as the Doctor assessed the situation.

"Spock I need you to move that boulder so we can get Jim out of here." McCoy kept silent about the pain that would come from moving it, but he gave him a slight warning when he said, "Brace yourself."

The First Officer pushed the boulder side before falling down from the pain that he was bombarded with. Jim gripped his hand weakly, trying to block it but he failed miserably and promptly passed out. Spock did the same even as he heard McCoy calling for Scott to beam them back aboard.

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**A/N - And there it is. I hope you guys liked it. Let me know what you think and as always thanks for reading!**

**L.A.**


	24. Keeping Warm

**A/N - So…I feel like crap for two main reasons. One because I made you wait so long…again and I said I wouldn't. Two, I'm getting sick, which is totally awesome right? Anyway, I can't promise when the next chapter will be up and I know this one is a little lacking, but I'm having trouble coming up with ideas. I'll probably watch a couple TOS episodes and see if anything pops into my head. Anyway, enjoy the chapter.**

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"What do you mean you can't beam us up? What the hell's the problem Scotty? I have Spock and Jim passed out down here!" McCoy yelled into his communicator, a bead of sweat falling down his forehead.

"There's too much interference. I barely got the search team out of there. I'll get a medical and rescue team down there in a shuttle as soon as I can."

McCoy shut his communicator, frustration written on his face. He knelt next to Spock and made sure he was stable before moving onto Jim. He stopped the bleeding and pressed a hypo to his neck, releasing pain killers into his blood stream. The Doctor felt Jim's forehead and felt a fever coming on, infection setting into the wounds that he was unable to heal at the moment.

"Leonard?"

"Spock? How're you feeling?"

"I have been better. How is Jim?" Spock sat up, his face slipping into the familiar mask.

"Infection setting in. I can't give him anything because I can't treat him with anything that I have here. I don't want to risk one of his reactions when I don't know when the shuttle is going to get here."

"Logical," his eyes went over Jim's form. "He is shivering."

McCoy looked back at Jim and cursed under his breath. "Whatever got into his system is quick acting. The damp air isn't helping. We need to keep him warm."

Spock watched as McCoy rubbed Jim's hands and tried to keep Jim warm. His eyes narrowed and he removed Jim's hand from McCoy's. "I will handle the situation, Doctor."

"My god man, now's not the time to get jealous. I'm not trying to take Jim from you. I thought we all came to an understanding, especially with that mark you left on his back."

The half-Vulcan looked at McCoy and bowed his head slightly. "You are correct. It appears that I am more possessive of Jim than I had thought."

"Just against his front, I'll lay in the back," McCoy said and they laid against Jim, their heat seeping into his chilling skin. "It's not a bad thing. Jim needs someone to take care of him, besides me. He's never really had that."

Spock nodded, his eyes always on Jim's face. "I just wish to make him happy."

McCoy gave a soft smile, "You do Spock, I don't think you realize just how happy you make him. Now save some energy. We'll have a long trek to make once the shuttle gets here."

Silence fell over the cave, rocks shifting periodically around them. Jim continued to sleep against them, pulling in their warmth. He nuzzled against Spock, one of his hands resting on McCoy to keep him close.

"What's taking them so long?" McCoy asked nearly an hour later, his body still tight against Jim. He lifted his head and looked across the body of his Captain to Spock.

"I do not know Leonard, but I am sure that they will be here as soon as possible." Even thought his voice was the perfect example of tranquility, the worry and frustration was visible in his dark eyes.

"Cold."

Both McCoy and Spock looked down to see Jim blinking his eyes slowly and curling into them.

"It's cold." he muttered. His blue eyes were cloudy and dull, his normally golden skin was pale and clammy. Jim shook his head to clear it and tried to move. He groaned when pain shot through his body and especially his chest and leg. He looked at Spock then McCoy, "What happened?"

"You experienced - " Spock started but was interrupted by McCoy.

"Small words Spock, He hit his head too remember?"

Spock gave a small nod, able to detect the light humor. "You were in a cave in. A rock landed on your leg and some damage was done to your chest."

"Just cause I'm hurt doesn't mean I can't handle big words Bones." Jim muttered but nodded to Spock before resting his head in the crook of the half-Vulcan's neck. His hand stayed on McCoy's. "You guys are warm." he whispered his eyes closing again.

"Get some rest, Jim," McCoy said and once Jim was asleep he pulled out his communicator and called up to the ship.

"Doctor McCoy? Mister Spock?" Rocks were moved and the two men saw another rescue team making their way in, two more men following them with a stretcher. McCoy took charge of the situation and got Jim settled and wrapped up on the stretcher before helped Spock to the shuttle craft.

McCoy tucked thermal blankets around Jim to keep him warm before running his scanner over Spock again, despite his protests. The ride, thankfully, was uneventful. Jim stayed stable and asleep and Spock was quiet once McCoy stopped running his tricorder over him.

Spock walked next to Jim's stretcher as the group hurried to sickbay. McCoy just ordered Spock to lay down and rest as he hurried into the operating room after Jim. Spock sat there, but he got no rest. Exactly five-point-three hours passed before McCoy walked out of the operating room.

The half-Vulcan stood up and saw the tired and weary smile that McCoy gave him. "I'm keeping him sedated for a while. If he tries to move around on that leg, and we both know he will, he runs the risk of losing it. Some of the damage was too bad for me to fix; it'll probably just bother him when its cold."

"Can I see him."

McCoy nodded and as he did so Jim was wheeled out and placed in a private recovery room so he could be away from prying eyes. From where he stood, Spock could see that Jim's skin was still too pale and clammy. He looked back to McCoy who gave him the same, tired smile.

"He's allergic to a lot of things Spock, I can't give him all the hypos that he needs, but he'll pull through. I won't leave sickbay till his stats are normal."

Spock silently nodded, a grateful look in his eyes that McCoy could just make out. The Doctor watched as Spock walked away and into Jim's room and took his place at his right side.

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**A/N - Sooo…let me know what you think and thanks for reading!**

**L.A.**


	25. Someone There

**A/N - Hey guys, so it here. School's kicking my butt, work is…well work and I've been doing the NaNoWriMo and everything has piled up. But, I got this up and I have a tiny favor to ask of you. I'm writing a paper for one of my classes on fan-fiction and my experience and I want to incorporate others' into that as well. At the end of this I'll post a quick six question survey and if you could just answer the questions that apply to you that would be awesome. Thanks for your help!**

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Spock sat in the chair next to Jim's biobed, his hand resting on the cool one of his Captain. The hand itself was wrapped to keep dirt and other contagions from entering the cuts on the human's hand. Spock wrapped his fingers around Jim's hand and let his mind wander.

The cave in had almost cost Spock the man he loved; it almost cost him Jim. He could still see Jim's leg crushed beneath that rock, the blood on his face and chest. Spock had been helpless to do anything for him and now all he could do was sit here and wait for Jim to wake up. He knew that Jim was going to be in pain and there was little they could do about it. Jim didn't like his pain being taken from him, he channeled it and got things done.

He gripped Jim's hand tighter as his mind pictured the cave in again but brought a different memory forward. Spock was running through the passage way, holding his mother's hand as they tried to get back to the Enterprise. He remained the rocks crumbling around them, crushing other members of the Vulcan High Council.

Once out of the cave he could see his home planet collapsing around him. The familiar pull of the transporter beam was just beginning to take effect when his mother vanished in front of him.

"Spock!"

The half-Vulcan looked down and saw a pair of vibrant blue eyes looking up at him with concern. "Spock, what's going on?"

"Nothing, Jim,"

"Bullshit Spock," Jim said softly, his voice weak and his skin still too pale. "I could feel you freaking out in my head."

"Jim, Vulcans do not 'freak out'."

Jim laughed softly and pulled himself into a sitting position. Through the link Spock could tell that Jim was hiding his pain but he didn't mention it. They looked at each other and Jim bit his lip before talking again.

"I'm fine so don't start…but ah…there's nothing Bones can give me for the pain?"

"No there's nothing I can give you for the pain Jim," McCoy said walking into the room. "Saw you were awake and I have a bone to pick with you."

Jim looked at Spock. _What's he mad about now?_

_I believe - _

McCoy interrupted their thoughts, "None of that freaky talking in your mind stuff. I'm talking not you," He glared at Jim walking over pressing a hypo to his neck and reveling in hurt look he received from Jim.

"What are you mad about now Bones?"

"Dammit Jim, I can't always put you back together! What in the hell were you thinking when you went off on your own like that?" The Doctor ranted his eyes narrowed on Jim's face. "Do you have any idea what kind of trouble you could have gotten into? You're allergic to over half the damn galaxy and its medications, you can't keep doing this!"

"Bones - "

He glared, "I'm not done with you yet Jim,"

Jim looked to Spock for help but said half-Vulcan had a smirk in his eyes and seemed to be enjoying this.

"You have over four hundred people counting on you. You have your best friend as your doctor and you sure as hell know that I never stop worrying about you with all the trouble you get yourself into. And you're married now, you can't just do shit like that and not think about Spock…do you realize what could happen to you if you just die on him because you wander off on your own?!" McCoy asked, his voice low but serious. He watched as Jim caught up with him.

"I would never…I wouldn't let you guys down," Jim said softly.

McCoy sat down on Jim's left side, "Look kid, you just can't do this reckless stuff anymore. You've got this need to save everyone and be the strong one - "

Spock watched as Jim interrupted him. "I get it Bones,"

"I'm not sure you do, Jim. Spock could die if you die."

"What?" Jim turned his gaze to Spock who merely nodded.

"I'll explain later Jim."

The young Captain sighed and looked back and forth between them. "You know I'll never stop going in first or trying to get you guys out."

Spock held Jim's hand and McCoy leaned back in his chair, still leery of how Spock would act if he touched Jim. "All I'm saying is, don't do it on your own. Let us come with you when we can."

"Maybe," Jim answered before settling into the bed and shifting his injured shoulder around to see how it felt. "So what's the damage?"

"You have three broken ribs, multiple lacerations, your left should had been dislocated, and several bones in your leg were broken and nearly smashed," Spock said in a detached voice, but through the physical contact and the bond Jim could feel the concern and anger.

"How long am I going to be in here Bones?" Jim asked looking at McCoy.

McCoy snorted, "I'd say two weeks but I'll let you back to your quarters in one. Good knows I can't stand having you in here for that long and I won't subject my nurses to that sort of torture. But you need to stay in bed. You still have an infection and if you're not careful you could lose that leg. I couldn't fix all the damage and I can't give you all the medication you need."

Jim reached over and squeezed McCoy's hand, biting his lip as a shot of pain ran through his arm. "Thanks Bones."

He nodded getting up, "I'll get going. Spock, should I have a bed brought in for you?"

Spock nodded, "Thank you, Leonard."

Jim watched as McCoy left and looked back at Spock, "It's not your fault that I got into this mess. I pushed you out of the way remember…and don't tell me to stop because you know I never will."

"I know you will not, but I hope you know that I will not stop trying to protect you either."

Jim gripped Spock's hand. "I don't want you to. It's nice you know…having someone that wants to look after you. Bones does, don't get me wrong. He worries and cares and he'll always be there but he's not you.

I've never opened up to anyone, not even Bones, like I do you. I've never felt as safe or wanted. I love having you near me, in my mind and I'll do anything to make sure you don't get hurt and I love that I have someone to do that for me."

Spock got up and shut the door to Jim's room and walked over getting in the bed with him. "You have more than just me. You have Leonard and all the crew members on this ship."

Jim closed his eyes and rested against Spock's warm body. "Not everyone on this ship would do anything to keep me safe. Bones would and you would, but I know you'd go even further. No one's tried to protect me like you and Bones since my dad. And I don't think I could ask anyone but you to really protect me like he did and that I don't want to do but I need it. Bones has his daughter and I couldn't do that to him but you…I feel like no matter you'd do it."

"Jim, you are rambling."

He laughed softly closing his eyes, "I'm tired."

"Rest," Spock whispered and kissed his head. He felt Jim relax into his side and heard his breathing even out. Spock watched Jim as he slept and made sure to keep him close. He felt content knowing that Jim finally realized that he had someone there to help him, to watch him, and to really love him.

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**A/N - Yes…You have completed chapter 25. Hopefully once Christmas Break gets here I'll have more time for writing and more ideas. Right now however, my friend and I are going to spend the night watching Doom, Friday the 13****th****, and of course, Star Trek. Oh, so yeah, tell me what you think and please answer the survey if you have time! Thanks!**

**1. How would you describe fan-fiction?**

**2. Why do you read fan-fiction?**

**3. Why do you write fan-fiction?**

**4. Why do you read slash?**

**5. Why do you write slash?**

**6. Besides the obvious, how would you describe slash?**


	26. Damn Mind Links

**A/N - And I'm back…sort of. So I really wanted to get this written before exams and also because this is my form of release and I am just so over worked its not even funny. Good news is that there are only two weeks until my holiday break and I don't have to worry about school for three weeks after that so I get to write. Ideas for this fic are coming slow and that is the major reason for the lack of updates. Currently, I've been in the mood for Kirk/McCoy and I'll probably start up another one of those sometime soon too, so if you like that pairing keep an eye out.**

**Also, I want to thank everyone that answered my survey, I really appreciate it and I'm turning in the final draft of it on Friday. It really means a lot that you guys helped me out. This chapter is mainly for all of you! So I hope you enjoy!**

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After two weeks, Jim was still limping but he was allowed back on the bridge as long as he didn't strain himself. McCoy knew his orders would be followed because was there to keep a very watchful and over-protective eye on Jim. He did have to admit that over the course of the two weeks, the things between him and Spock had gotten much better. Spock no longer became possessive if McCoy touched Jim and they had fallen into their old habit of bickering with each other whenever possible.

He could see that Spock was still jealous of the relationship that he and Jim had, but they had three years of history before Spock came into the picture and that was something that wasn't just going to disappear. McCoy didn't get in their way; he could see that this was the happiest that Jim had ever been in his life and he knew that Jim was finally realizing that his life meant something to more than just him.

"Kirk to sickbay."

McCoy looked at his comm and flipped the switch before leaning back in his chair. "Whatcha need, Jim?"

"Bones, can you meet Spock and me in my ready room? We got new orders and I want your opinion."

The Doctor got up and stretched, "Be right there." He flipped the switch and walked out of his office, telling the nurse-on-duty where he would be should they need him.

When he walked into the ready room he could see that whatever was going on was coming between Jim and Spock. He sat across from Jim and let his gaze go between the pair. "Alright, what's going on?"

"One-point-three hours ago we received orders from Star Fleet Command investigate a new planet and determine if it was suitable for colonization."

McCoy raised his eyebrow looking at Spock, "And I needed to come down here why?"

"Because," Jim said before Spock could answer, "Spock doesn't think that I should go down with the away team."

"You are still having trouble walking and if a dangerous situation would arise you would not be able to defend yourself properly. Also, Leonard has not cleared you for such duties yet," Spock said before looking at McCoy. "Is that not correct Doctor?"

McCoy groaned putting his head in his hands. "Great, put me in the middle of the whole thing."

Jim laughed and leaned back in his chair. "We're not putting you in the middle of it. I just want you to tell him that I'm cleared to go down and explore the planet with the away team."

The Doctor sighed and looked up, "Jim, you're still not one hundred percent and I haven't cleared you for full duty yet. And knowing you, you would find some way to get hurt down there. I can't give you the go ahead to do anything besides paper work and light bridge duty until your back at your peak."

Jim narrowed his eyes slightly and folded his arms over his chest. "You said I would always have the limp."

"No, I said that it may be sore from time to time, not that you would be limping around for the rest of your life," He saw the angry and wounded look on Jim's face and rolled his eyes. "Don't be such an infant Jim. I think you can handle staying up here for one beam down. If there is any reason why they need you down there after they've explored for a bit I'll go down with you, but other wise you're not going down."

Spock looked smug, well as smug as he could and nodded at McCoy, "Thank you, Leonard,"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." he muttered and got up, "Anything else or am I free to get back to sick bay?"

"Just have someone from your department ready to go down there and take some readings within two hours," Jim said still not looking as happy as he could.

McCoy put his hand on Jim's shoulder and gave him a smile, "Look, how about we play some Speed while Spock's on the planet. You'll be off duty then anyway."

Jim smiled gently, "Fine."

Spock looked at McCoy and gave him a nod before walking out to prepare for the mission. McCoy told Jim that he'd see him later before going and finding someone to go down with Spock.

A couple hours later found Jim and McCoy in the Captain's quarters with a deck of cards and two glasses of bourbon. They caught up with each other and let the alcohol warm them while they played. McCoy even noticed that Jim was smiling and forgetting that he was down on some unexplored planet with some of his crew.

"We should really set a night out of the week for us to just sit down and play, you know that Jim?" McCoy looked up from the pile of cards he was straightening up and saw Jim's eyes closed and a pained look on his friend's face. "Jim?"

"Bones," he groaned, dropping the cards that were in his hand. "Call the away team up."

McCoy got up and knelt next to Jim's chair. "Tell me what's wrong, Jim,"

The Captain gripped the table and fell out of the chair in McCoy's arms. "Spock's hurt…call the transporter room and have the team beamed up." Jim was shaking, pain filling his eyes as his body went through a fraction of what Spock's was.

McCoy went to Jim's desk doing what he asked before calling sickbay and telling them to get ready for injuries. He rushed back to Jim and wrapped his arm around his back and hoisted him up. "Lets get you to sickbay so I can monitor you."

"I'm fine Bones, its just some pain. I've been through worse,"

"Don't remind me," McCoy muttered and helped him to the medical ward.

Jim was fine, besides the waves of pain the coursed through his body whenever Spock felt something like it. It was tense while they waited for the team to beam up, Jim's heart rate was through the roof and McCoy tried to keep it down. What was merely minutes seemed like hours, but finally Spock was carried into the sickbay and both Jim and McCoy paled at what they saw.

Spock's shirt was shredded and bright green blood left trails down his skin. His eyes were closed and the normally straight hair was mussed up and going in all different directions. Dirt and mud caked what remained of his uniform, and the green skin was at least three shades paler than normal.

"No Jim, stay here," McCoy said and pushed him back onto the bed before he made his way to Spock assessing the half-Vulcan himself. The gashes on his chest and abdomen were deep and after a scan with a tri-corder McCoy found a new type of bacteria that was causing havoc in Spock's mind.

McCoy let Spock slip into a healing trance and took a vial of blood to run some tests on the bacteria. He walked over to Jim, "It's new…attacking his mind and adversely attacking yours. I'm gonna get started on it right away."

Jim nodded and looked over at Spock, "You'll fix it…you always do Bones."

The Doctor smiled gently and rubbed Jim's shoulder. He knew Jim well enough to tell that the Captain was hiding and dealing with the pain so that no one worried about him and just focused on helping Spock. "Why don't you go up to the bridge. It'll help keep your mind off of things, hell you'll probably be able to relax more up there than if you were in your room."

"Just…keep me updated okay, Bones?"

McCoy rubbed his shoulder again and gave him a gentle yet reassuring smile. "Of course Jim," He walked out of sickbay and got into the lift making his way to the labs. "Damn mind links." he muttered and got to work.

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**A/N - And that was chapter 26...let me know what you think and as always thanks for reading!**

**L.A.**


	27. Forgetfulness

**A/N - So my mind went blank for a while and there were like…three times when I sat down to write, wrote an sentence then closed this because I couldn't think of what else to say. I was gonna try and have this up last night but as you can see…that didn't happen. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!**

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The day after Spock came back from the planet wounded, he was still unconscious and whenever Jim wasn't on duty he was at his bedside. It reminded him of the time Spock had been bitten by the alien insect and for a week he sat vigil by the bed. Jim didn't think he could stand it if he was going to have to wait that long again. Even while Spock was sedated he could feel the echoes of pain coming from his mind.

Jim knew that McCoy was doing everything he could and that over half the medical and science departments were trying to figure out what was really going on in Spock's head. He let go of his mate's hand and rubbed his own temples lightly - this pain was giving him a constant migraine and pain medications were not helping him any.

He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Jim looked over and saw McCoy behind him, his hazel toned eyes worried. "Jim, you should head to your quarters and try and get some rest. I know you have a headache and I'm guessing you didn't sleep last night."

Jim laughed softly, "You know me too well, Bones. But I'll be fine, always am."

McCoy squeezed his shoulder and pressed a soft kiss to his head. "I know you are, but Spock will have both our heads if you aren't taking care of yourself. I'll keep an eye on him and we're really close to figuring this thing out. Try and get some sleep."

The young Captain sighed and got up. He turned and faced McCoy who could plainly see that Jim was suffering. The blue eyes were rimmed with red and had circles forming under them and his tan skin was paler; maybe Spock hadn't been down for a long time but the stress, worry, and pain that was coursing through Jim was taking its affect rapidly.

"You'll call me if anything - "

"Yes, Jim. Now get your ass out of here and to bed."

Jim laughed and gave McCoy a hug, taking in the comfort that his friend offered before walking out and to his quarters.

The next day McCoy assured Jim that they would have a vaccine in twenty-four hours or less, and that brightened the young man's mood considerably. On the bridge he was happier and laughed with the crew and he even cut back on the cups of coffee that he had been enjoying.

The shift had been fairly uneventful - until the end of it. Jim bit his lip rubbed his forehead to ease away the rush of pain. He stood up as soon as his replacement arrived and left the bridge. Just as he got out of the lift another wave of pain hit him and he fell to his knees, trying not to yell. He took in his surroundings and saw a comm unit down the hall.

Jim forced himself up and leaned against the wall as he made his way to it. He slapped his hand against the button, "Kirk to sickbay."

"Jim, I told you when I had something - "

"Bones…I ah, need some help," Jim panted out, his vision starting to blur around the edges.

For the briefest moment, McCoy was silent on the other end of the connection. "Where are you?"

"Bones…"

McCoy cursed under his breath when Jim stopped responding and took the few steps over to the computer. "Computer, location of Captain Kirk."

"Captain Kirk is on deck three, lift eight."

As soon as the words were spoken McCoy was out of his office but stopped by another Doctor. "Spock is having some kind of seizure," a yell came from a nurse observing Spock, "It's stopping sir - "

A scream from down the hall, one loud enough to penetrate the walls and doors interrupted their conversation. "Jim,"

Again, McCoy was on the move. He found Jim just a few feet from the lift, his body stiff as he screamed out in pain. McCoy knelt next to him and swore as he saw blood leaking from the corner of Jim's mouth. He turned the Captain onto his side and yelled for a stretcher. The Doctor cradled Jim's head in his lap and talked him through it, unsure of Jim's reaction to the medications, though he made a side note to test them at a later date.

He ran his fingers through Jim's hair, his voice smooth and gentle, "You're almost through it Jim…doing good Jim." McCoy's fingers shook and he tried to be completely professional, but he couldn't stand the pained look on Jim's face. By the time the stretcher got there Jim was almost completely done with the seizure but his muscles were still tense and the trickle of blood was steady.

Once he got Jim to sickbay McCoy moved him to a bed getting him stabilized. He walked over to Spock's bed and took a look at the readings; he say between the two beds, studying the readouts until his eyes fell shut on their own accord.

He woke up when the steady and slow beeping of Spock's vitals sped up. McCoy took a step and looked up at the read outs and smiled when he saw that Spock was coming out of it. A few moments later he watched Spock open his eyes and look around the room before the brown eyes landed on Jim.

Spock looked at McCoy, "What happened?"

The Doctor sighed and did a thorough scan of Spock while he spoke. "Ever since you've been in this…coma, Jim's had a constant migraine and flairs of pain." He glance at the chronometer before continuing, "Yesterday you had a seizure and as a result so did Jim, even though his didn't start till yours was practically over.

"I don't really know why it happened but I've come up with a theory. Is it possible for bond-mates to take pain away from the other, maybe a seizure?"

Once the tri-corder in front of him was lowered, Spock got up and made his way to Jim's bed. "I suppose it is possible. I have never been in that situation and bonds are not spoken of in public - only to healers if the need arises." He looked at McCoy gripping Jim's hand, "Is he ok?"

McCoy took his seat again and looked at Jim's face. "All our scans show that brain and body function is normal. He should be awake in a few minutes now that you've come out of it."

They remained there in silence until Jim's vitals showed that he was waking up. He blinked slowly until his blue eyes opened. He looked at Spock and smiled gently. "Spock." he said sitting up, "Where's Bones?"

McCoy walked over, a hypospray in his hand, "Right here Jim. How're you feeling?"

"Fuzzy." he said rubbing his head. The Doctor administered the hypo before running a scan, his hand pausing near his head. "Babe, what's wrong?"

Spock rubbed Jim's hand gently, "I am not yet sure, I am sure once Leonard - "

Jim took his hand away and gave Spock a confused look, "Spock, I was talking Bones."

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**A/N - And there it is. I'll start working on the next chapter in a few days, once everything from Christmas calms down. Let me know what you thought - Happy Holidays everyone!**


	28. Coming To

**A/N - So two updates in one day. I'm kinda on a roll. I missed writing so much so I put everything on hold until I got my two chapters out. I'm not sure when the next one will be coming - I have a story due for my fiction class on Wednesday (which is based off of Attempt Number Four actually). Anyhoo, enjoy the chapter!**

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Jim looked up at McCoy and Spock, his hand gripping the Doctor's tightly. "Guy's, stop staring at me like that. You're kind of freaking me out."

Spock looked at McCoy, his voice strained with the hint of a growl when he spoke, "Doctor McCoy -"

"Don't look at me Spock, I had nothing to do with this."

The half-Vulcan unclenched the fists that had formed at his sides and forced himself to calm down. He didn't look at Jim, afraid that he would lose what little composure he had if he looked at his mate. "Leonard, I'm afraid that I must -"

McCoy just nodded, happy that Spock was calming down and realizing the situation for what it was, and not McCoy trying to take Jim from him again. "I'll look after him. I'll get this figured out as quickly as I can." He removed his hand from Jim's and rested it on Spock's shoulder. "There will be a report sent your way at least every hour, Spock."

Spock nodded curtly and looked at Jim's face with sadness in his eyes before he walked out. He made his way to his quarters, feeling around the bond that he shared with Jim. It was still there, but there was no answer from Jim. It made no sense whatsoever and Spock could not figure out what was keeping him out. He had never heard of any such occurrence before, but then again, the only Vulcans that would have this sort of experience would be his alternate self of his father.

He sat on the edge of his bed, his mind working through what could have gone wrong. There was no reason why Jim's mind should be closed to his. The fatigue began to set in and Spock let his head rest in his hands. He felt empty now that Jim's presence was gone from his mind; even here in the room he could not feel Jim's essence. His head snapped when he felt something change.

_Spock?_

The half-Vulcan sat up straight, his eyes narrowing slightly in concentration. _Jim?_

Over the link he could feel exhaustion and confusion coming from Jim. _Bones figured it out - I ah - still don't remember anything big. Hell having you in my head feels odd. Never thought I'd have someone want to be with me like this you know - this whole link thing is giving me a headache._

Spock frowned as much as his training allowed, _I will restrain - _

_No…look, can you just come down to sickbay? Bones thinks you being around will bring back everything else…something about the bond needing to be strengthen or something like that._

_I will be right there. _Spock got off of the bed and in under two minutes he was entering sickbay. His sensitive ears picked up on the conversation that Jim was having with the Doctor.

"So, you do want me."

McCoy rolled his eyes. He was leaning against the wall, his arms folded over his chest. "No Jim, we tried and it didn't work. Besides, you're married and if we even tried anything Spock would end up in pain."

Spock watched, relief finding its way into his gaze when Jim frowned at the thought of him in pain. He was also relieved that he did not hear any betrayal or jealousy in either voice, and part of him was touched at the loyalty that both of these men were showing him.

"I'm not losing you, right Bones?"

"Never, Jim." McCoy looked and saw Spock near the doorway. "Get some rest Jim. That means no physical bond strengthening. The sooner you do what I say that sooner you and Spock can get to…that." When Jim laughed, McCoy smirked and pressed a hypo to Jim's neck.

"Dammit, Bones! What was that for?" The blonde rubbed his neck.

"The migraine."

"I was fine," Jim muttered, still rubbing the sore spot on his neck. "You slipped in a…" He slumped against the pillow, falling asleep.

Spock raised his eyebrow and gripped Jim's hand once he was asleep.

"He's not himself yet and all his memories aren't back. There was still some pressure on his brain but we got that taken care of."

"Thank you." Spock stopped him from leaving. "You still have feelings for hi,, yet you had a chance with him -"

"I'm not a total asshole, Spock." McCoy sighed and went back to leaning against the wall. "We may not see eye to eye each other - it's an expression Spock, I know we can't see eye to eye because you're taller - we may not see eye to eye on everything, but I know what Jim needs and that 's what I want for him."

After he left, Spock sat next to Jim, his mind playing back the memories of the events that had recently transpired. He also remembered all the events that had brought them to this point. For hours, he analyzed everything that had happened and began to realize how deep the bond between the three of them went. There was nothing that any of them could deny the other, the dedication that had manifested between them was something that would stand the test of time.

"Go get her Bones,"

Spock's gaze fixed on Jims face and tiled his head in curiosity. Jim was obviously dreaming, so he retreated into his mind and saw the dream what was making his Captain smile.

_Spock and Jim were standing together, Jim's arm around Spock's waist. Normally they resisted touching or flaunting their relationship in public, out of respect for each other and the crew, but the smile on Jim's face was brighter than he had seen in a long time so Spock moved into the touch. _

_Jim looked up at Spock and smiled, "Good to see him happy after everything isn't it?"_

_He figured that by 'everything', Jim meant the romance between him and McCoy, the pain that they had all gone through over the years, and the over all strain that they all faced. Out of the three of them McCoy was the one that never really had anyone to fall back on. Yes, he had Jim and Spock, but no one to spend the night with or to comfort him like they did. _

_Spock looked back at McCoy and watched as he walked away with a female member of the crew. He could not be sure, but from where he stood, Spock was fairly sure she was from engineering, Barrows, he thought her name was. _

Spock pulled himself from Jim's mind and watched as Jim relaxed into sleep again, his mind blank. He got up to stretch his legs and heard McCoy gently reprimanding someone for getting hurt. He looked out the door and saw McCoy treating a woman in a red uniform and shut the door, his lips turning up at the corners.

He turned back to Jim and saw a soft smile on the man's face. Spock took his seat and held Jim's hand. Just from the touch and the bond, Spock could feel Jim's emotions. A wave of confusion, denial, lust and love; it didn't take a man of Spock's intelligence to realize that in his own way, Jim was remembering what brought them together. Spock himself remembered the looks associated with those emotions and how each of them had been directed at him.

Jim groaned in his sleep and Spock let his eyes focus on Jim's face once again. "Jim?"

The Captain's eye lids fluttered open and the bright blue eyes quickly met Spock's brown ones. Jim smiled tiredly and gripped Spock's hand. "Love you." he whispered, his voice cracking from his exhaustion.

"Love you too, Jim." He pressed his lips to Jim's head and watched as a content smile spread over the human's face and he fell back asleep.

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**A/N - So there it is…let me know what you think!**


	29. Waking Up

**A/N - Ok, so here's the deal. I have decided that its not fair to you guys that these updates are taking so long. So, what's going to happen is this; there is one more chapter left to this story. I feel like the plot has become lost and because of that I'm losing the motivation to write this, plus the last few weeks of the semester are here and I'm not sure what is going to be happening. So, in fairness to all of you, this story will be coming to a close and I'm sad to see that happen, but we do have one more chapter after this, plus my other story is going to continue. And who knows, maybe I'll write more Kirk/Spock down the road. For now, enjoy chapter twenty-nine.**

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Jim woke up with his head still pounding and the light made his eyes sting and water. The memories from the last however long it had been flooded his mind causing Jim to fall back to the bed. He remembered falling to the ground and feeling pain from Spock, he remembered pulling away from Spock and wanting to have McCoy hold him and the hurt in Spock's eyes as he rejected the half-Vulcan.

He blinked a few times before realizing that warm hands were gripping at his own and one of them was almost to warm for comfort. Jim managed to get his hands free and pushed himself up slowly.

"Jim?"

The young Captain look over and saw Spock looking at him with concern. "Morning Spock."

Spock merely raised his eyebrow, "Morning."

"What time is it?"

"Twenty-seven minutes after oh-three-hundred. You have been asleep for two days?"

Jim snorted. "That all?"

The look on Spock's face softened. "We have all been worried about your well-being."

He groaned and leaned back against the bed. "Don't tell me that you and Bones have been here for the last two days." When Spock didn't answer, Jim looked over at McCoy and saw the bags under his friend's eyes and the scruff on his face. The Captain frowned, "And you two lecture me."

Spock let his lips turn up at the edges and handed Jim a cup of water. "Your mind was almost destroyed because of me -"

"Shut it, Spock. I'm fine. Let's get Bones to his room and go to ours. This bed isn't the most comfortable thing in the world." Jim got off the bed and fell into Spock.

"Jim, you cannot leave sickbay until Leonard has released you -"

"Which I haven't."

"Bones…"

"Don't 'Bones' me." he said mimicking Jim's whine after he pushed himself out of the chair he had been sleeping in. "You just went through a seizure, a case of amnesia, and you're still recovering your memory. You aren't going anywhere until your scans are back to normal."

All three men in the room, hell, the entire ship knew that McCoy had a soft spot when it came to Jim Kirk. When Jim got a pouty look on his face McCoy had to look away so that he didn't give in. "Come on, Bones. I just want to go to my quarters. Spock will watch me."

"I know what your type of watching is Jim and that is off limits."

Spock spoke before Jim had a chance to answer. "I assure you Leonard, Jim and I will not be engaging in -"

"All right, all right! Go on; I don't want to think or hear about that."

"Sure you don't want to watch, Bones?" Over the bond, Spock could feel amusement coming from Jim, along with a feeling of exhaustion.

"Out Jim, before I change my mind. Spock make sure he takes it easy."

Spock nodded, "Do not worry, Doctor. He will." He looked at Jim and started to lead him out before he added, "Either way Leonard, you would be missing anything."

The three of the stood there for a few moments before McCoy started laughing. "Oh, I know Spock."

Jim frowned and folded his arms across his chest. "I'm good at -"

"Get out of here and get some rest Jim."

Spock led Jim out of the sickbay and to their quarters. His arms remained at his side and ready in case Jim needed assistance.

"Can't believe you would say that…"

He led Jim into the sleeping area. "Jim, both Doctor McCoy and myself know that you excel in that area."

"How do you know what Bones thinks?"

A sly smile appeared on Spock's face. "I could feel the pleasure you felt when you were with him."

It took a moment to answer, but when he did there was a shocked look on Jim's face. "I…so you…" Jim sat there quietly. "That's…fascinating. Does Bones know?"

"I would assume so. He knows details about mind links because of our bonding." Spock watched as Jim realized that McCoy knew that Spock would feel it and he spoke before Jim had the chance to open his mouth. "We were both fighting for your affections, and this is after I hurt you." Leonard and I both used you against each other."

Again Jim sat silent and Spock could feel the man's emotions over the bond. "At first, Jim was shocked that people would go after him and want him so badly. Then there was anger that his two best friends, the men that he trusted the most would hurt each other and use him like that.

"We both wanted you and we both wanted you to be happy, Jim."

Jim nodded, allowing Spock to lay with him and to hold him. The half-Vulcan felt Jim's presence in his mind dim as the human thought to himself and blocked his thoughts from him. Spock didn't intrude but merely watched his young Captain.

He was shocked when he felt Jim's lips covers hi own. Spock looked at Jim, "I do not understand."

"Me either, but when has that ever bothered me? But I do know that no one has ever cared about me like you two. I'll be thanking Bones later."

Spock raised his eyebrow and frowned lightly, "Not like this."

Jim smirked and kissed him again, "Maybe."

A soft growl escaped Spock and he pulled Jim to him possessively while he allowed a smirk to escape. Jim smiled and nuzzled his neck, both reveling in the playful thoughts that came from the other's mind.

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**A/N - And there it is. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.**

**L.A.**


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